Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to the show "Dawson's Creek". The famous names, places and songs mentioned…I do not know the people, I do not own the places and I did not write the songs. However, I do lay claim to the original characters such as Skip Maxwell and Kristina Morgan and the song that Pace Morgan writes throughout the fic.

Category: Pacey & Joey

Rating: R (holds for entire series)

Spoilers: Anything if you have not seen all the episodes.

Summary: Ten years has past. Times have changed and no one is the same….

Place in Series: Divided is the second fic in my still untitled series that began with The Ocean Between Us and ends with Reality…Unrecognizable. If you have not read The Ocean Between Us I highly recommend reading that fic before this one so that you will not be confused.

Author's Note: I have received such wonderful feedback for The Ocean Between Us and I just wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate it. Sorry that it has taken me so long to get this fic out but I was dealing with my own history and I wanted to do justice to TOBU so I hope that no one is disappointed with Divided because I really tried. As I stated at the beginning of TOBU, music is an important part of any story for me so lyrics are also interwoven throughout Divided to set the tone and give the reader an emotional link to the events that are occurring. But look for grittier lyrics from groups such as Metallica (one of my all-time faves), Staind, Goo Goo Dolls and The Smashing Pumpkins. As before, I will post a soundtrack list at the end of the fic.

Thank You's: Thanks to all the lyric sites I went to, to IHJ (I Hate Jen) for transcripts to refer to when I needed them, to my wonderful beta readers and a very special thanks to Bitsy…you are a godsend. :)

Feedback: I would love some at twill007@surfsouth.com

New York City
2011

The view was breathtaking from the thirtieth story. He stood looking out the rain-streaked window at the city, ablaze with light, stretched out before him. On a normal night he would sit on his couch in front of the window and write songs while enjoying the view. But tonight was different. Tonight he had to make a life-altering decision.

"What am I going to do," he muttered, running a shaking hand through his hair. 

For ten years he had been living a life that was made up. Living in a world where nothing that he wanted ever happened. Living an existence that he'd thought would be his forever. Then the unexpected had happened. Something that he had given up on long ago; something that had scared him. He'd met the most vibrant, beautiful, adorable woman and she had thrown his life into total upheaval. But this was not what had scared him the most. She knew his secret. And that scared the hell out of him. 

He sighed and placed his hand against the cool glass, trying to decide what he should do. This woman was everything that he'd ever wanted…hoped for…dreamed of. In fact, since he'd met her a few short months ago, his strange dreams of a veiled woman had almost completely stopped. But, did she really love him or did she love the man that she thought he was? The question scared him and thinking about what her answer could be scared him even more. 

For ten years he had lived his life as someone else, remembering only the things that had happened during their tenure. Tonight she had handed him a very delicate crystal ball full of possibility and memories and he had thrown it against his wall of fear, anger and emptiness…shattering it to pieces. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears that wanted to come...tears that he didn't know how to cry anymore. 

Her face flashed in front of his eyes and he gulped. The truth was that he wanted nothing more than to run after her and tell her that he couldn't live without her. He wanted to bury himself deep inside of her where he could never resurface. He wanted to tell her that it didn't matter who she thought he was…what mattered was who he was now. He wanted to do so many things…but he couldn't. 

He began pacing the room, deep in thought. 

"Does she really know who I was," he asked aloud. "Does she really know anything about my past? Or is this just her way to hang on to me?" 

He stopped pacing and stared out the window again. Did she really have the answers that he had wanted so long ago…that he had searched for but never found? Would he like what she told him? Would he even believe her? Why would she lie? Why hadn't he met her sooner? Why hadn't she recognized him from the start? What the hell was going on? 

His past was locked away inside his head…and he couldn't find the key to open it. Over the past ten years he'd learned not to care about what he couldn't remember. But, what she had told him tonight, the way she'd looked at him after he'd kissed her…her eyes told of loneliness, heartache, lost love and tragedy. If he really was who she said he was then how had he felt about her? As his lover…his friend…his girlfriend…his soul mate? He hoped that it wasn't the last one. Thinking back now, to the first day they'd met, he had to admit that something had drawn him to her, something that he couldn't put his finger on. Maybe this was it. But what was it? Love, devotion, friendship…everything? 

He sighed and looked over at a sculpture that was sitting on the mantel. Why hadn't he been able to remember his past? Was he afraid? Was it that he couldn't? Or did he not want to remember? Had he been staring at his past all along and not realized it? Was she his link? 
 

"Please, just come with me. Maybe you could find something that will help you remember who you are!"
 

She'd begged him to come with her, to give it a chance, and he had pushed her away. She'd scared the hell out of him…the feelings he'd felt when he kissed her, held her or even touched her. The way she'd looked at him scared the hell out of him. Everything about her and the situation that he found himself in scared the hell out of him. 

The clock struck the hour and he snapped out of his reverie. She would be leaving…and quite possibly he would never see her again. Did he really want that to happen? Did he really want to go through the rest of his life regretting the fact that he hadn't gone after her and tried to rediscover his memories…his life? That he'd let the best thing that ever happened to him walk out of his life for good? 

"DAMMIT," he exclaimed, looking at the keys that sat on the counter. "Stop being such a chicken shit!" 

His decision was made. He ran over to the counter and grabbed his wallet and keys. Jerking his leather jacket off its hook, he raced out the door, down the stairs and burst out the front doors into the open night. He struck off down the street, ignoring the rain that pelted his face, running as fast as he could, hoping that he would catch her before it was too late.