The clock chimed two a.m. and Pacey turned over, mumbling something incoherent.

 "Time to wake up Pacey."

 Pacey sprang out of bed.  "Ah!"  He blinked and focused his eyes on the glowing specter before him.  "Oh my god…Mrs. Ryan?"

 Mrs. Ryan chuckled.  "The very same young man."

 "How-when-what-"

 "I died five years ago Pacey.  And you didn't even notice."

 Pacey stared at her.  "Please tell me that you're joking.  You couldn't have died!"

 "I did; in my sleep, nice and peaceful," Mrs. Ryan told him.  "But I'm not here to talk about me Pacey.  I'm here to show you the present."

 Pacey sighed.  "And I was hoping that it was only a dream."  Then he noticed that the window was open again.  "No, please, not the window!  AHHH!"

 They were standing in front of a rundown apartment building.  Pacey looked at Mrs. Ryan, an eyebrow cocked.  "Who would I know that lives here?"

 Mrs. Ryan frowned and waved her hand, transporting them to inside one of the apartments.

 Pacey looked around at the painstakingly clean, ridiculously small room.  "Why are we-"

 "Momma look!"

 Pacey's eyes widened.

A little boy popped his head up over the back of the couch where he appeared to be watching television.  Then Deana came in from the back.  "Yes Tim?"

 "It's an angel," he said, pointing to the screen.

 Deana smiled.  "That's right."

 There was a knock on the door.  Enjoy your movie baby.  That's probably Jolie."  Deana walked over to the door, peeped through the eyehole then opened the door.  "Hey Jolie," she said, closing the door behind her friend.

 "Hey D," Jolie, a tall black-haired woman responded.  "Hey sport."

 "Hey Aunt Jolie."

 "You think he'll ever accept that we're not related," she asked Deana, smiling.

 "Probably not.  Come on.  Let's go to the kitchen.  You can help me set up."

 "Okay."

 As they busied themselves with setting the table, Pacey turned to Mrs. Ryan.

 "I didn't think Deana lived in a place like this."

 Mrs. Ryan nodded.  "It's all she can afford."

 "But I pay her good money," Pacey protested.

 Mrs. Ryan stared at him coolly.  "Do you?"'

 Pacey shut his mouth.

 "D, this is the smallest ham I've ever seen," Jolie commented, taking a pan out of the oven.

 "That's because it's not a whole ham, it's only a forth," Deana informed her, putting bowls with mashed potatoes, dressing and peas in them on the table.  "It's all I could afford Jo."

 "That tightwad still hasn't given you a raise," Jolie asked, exasperated.

 Deana shook her head.

 "Bastard."

 "Hey," Pacey protested.

 "Pacey-" Mrs. Ryan began.

 "I know, I know.  They can't hear me."

 "Why can't he show some sympathy or compassion for goodness sake?  You're a single, working mother with an extremely ill child!"

 Deana frowned, her eyes sad.  "Mr. Witter doesn't know about Tim."

 "Know what," Pacey asked aloud.

 "I bet he doesn't even know you have a son," Jolie continued.

 "Jolie," Deana admonished.  "I'm sure Mr. Witter has seen Tim at some point."

 "Sure, but did he know Tim was your son?"

 Deana shrugged.

 Jolie rolled her eyes.  "Girl, you've got to stand up for your rights!  You're his personal secretary!  You should be making way more money than you are."

 "I make money Jo," Deana protested, pouring tea into three glasses and setting them on the table.

 "Sure." Jolie placed the ham on the table.  "D, face it.  You're barely scraping by.  And with Tim's medical bills…you're gonna have to make more money."

 Deana sighed.  "I know all this Jo…but I can't ask Mr. Witter for a raise."

 "And why not?"

 "Because he has enough to worry about as is.  Plus…he might get really mad and fire me.  And I cannot afford to lose my job.  Let's face it Jolie.  You and I both know that I don't have enough skills to find another good job.  We'll lose the apartment."

 "Some apartment," Jolie muttered, stepping on a roach as it crawled across the floor.

 "Ewww," Pacey muttered.

 "We only get those every once in a while," Deana explained.  "There is an exterminator."

 "D, face it, this apartment is a dump."

 "Well, I can't afford another one.  Plus, I don't want to pack up Tim and make him move.  It just wouldn't be fair."

 Jolie sighed.  "Well, I still think you should at least tell that asshole to back off and take his anger out on someone else."

 "Can't.  There's no one to work."

 "Why?"

 "Everyone knows Mr. Witter's temperament.  Most people won't work for him.

 Pacey scoffed.  "Reputation."

 "Let's eat Tim," Deana called, turning back to Jolie.  'Jo, all I know is that Tim and I could have no food, no medicine, no place to stay…anything if it were not for Mr. Witter.  He didn't have to hire me you know.  I certainly didn't have the best credentials of all the applicants.  Mr. Witter was different back then.  He saw me and I guess saw that I was sincere.  And the first few years were wonderful.  Then things began changing…and one day he just shut down completely."

 "Maybe he needs to get laid," Jolie whispered.

 Deana rolled her eyes.  "I'm serious Jo."

 "So am I.  Maybe I could give him a good roll in the hay.  He certainly is sexy…."

 "Thank you," Pacey said.

 "Even if he is a prick."

 "HEY!"

 Deana shook her head.  "That's not what I mean at all.  He had someone, a long time ago.  A beautiful woman…I can't remember her name.  God, Jolie, they were so happy together.  Then, as things started to change I saw less and less of her and one day she was gone.  I think that had something to do with his change of feeling."

 Jolie shrugged.  "Could be.  But he still has no right to treat your or his other employees in the manner that he does."

 "Really, Jolie, he's not so bad.  Sure, he runs a tough office and we have late hours.  The pay is not great but it's a lot better than most places.  True, he has a temper and keeps away from everyone as much as possible but I think that's because he's afraid to let anyone get close to him."

 Pacey stared at his secretary, seeing her in a new light.  "Whoa," he said softly.  "I never knew Deana saw so much."

 "How can you ever expect to know these things if you don't give people a chance," Mrs. Ryan asked, looking at him almost sympathetically.

 "I don't know."

 Jolie shook her head.  "You are just too kind hearted Deana.  Don't you know a beast when you see one?"

 "And do you remember what was behind that ghastly exterior," Deana shot back.

 Jolie closed her mouth.

 "He's just so unhappy."  Deana shrugged and looked at her son as he slowly climbed up onto his chair.  "I may be poor but at least I have my son, even though he is sick, and I have you so I'm happy and I'm not alone.  But Mr. Witter, he doesn't have anybody but himself.  How would you feel Jo if every morning you woke up with no one and every night you ate by yourself and sat at home by yourself?"

 "I'd die."

 "Correct.  It's a lonely existence.  And it's the one that Mr. Witter has stuck himself in."

 "Girl, you make me ashamed," Jolie said, giving her friend a hug.

   "Good.  Now, let's eat."

 Pacey was staring at nothing.  What he had just heard had been the last thing he'd ever expected.  Finally, he refocused his eyes and looked at the meager meal that was on Deana's table.  "This is all they have to eat?"

 Mrs. Ryan nodded.  "Her paycheck goes for rent and medical bills."

 "What's wrong with Tim Mrs. Ryan?"

 "He's a very sick little boy Pacey."

 "I just want to take a moment to give thanks to God for this meal and to family and friends for sharing this day.  And I want to thank Mr. Witter for my job that provided the money for the food we now have before us.  Amen."  They began to eat.

 "Good girl," Mrs. Ryan commended.  "He's always listening."

 "Yes momma," Tim agreed, taking a sip of his tea.  "We must thank God and Mr. Witter for this meal.  Isn't it wonderful?  We even get chocolate chip cookies!"  He smiled at his mother.  "Besides, it isn't the quantity that counts, it's the quality."

 Deana and Jolie smiled.

 "Such big words for such a little guy," Jolie teased.

 "Momma and I watch a lot of television," Tim cracked, grinning from ear to ear.

 Deana and Jolie glanced at each other and burst into laughter, Tim laughing merrily along with them.
 
 Pacey raised an eyebrow.  "Why are they thanking me?  According to you, I've put them in the poorhouse."

 Mrs. Ryan smiled softly.  "Young man, don't you see that Deana and Tim are special?  Don't you see that money is not important to them…nor having a fancy place to live and such.  They're simple, honest, loving people.  People like Joey.  People like the way you used to be."

 Pacey lowered his head, ashamed.

 "Not everyone is governed by his or her bank account," she added.  "And neither were you.  That's why we're here."

 "I'm done momma," Tim announced, starting to take his plate to the sink.

 "That's okay baby.  I'll get it," Deana said, ruffling his hair.  "Grab a cookie and you can go back and watch your movie."

 "YIPPEE," Tim exclaimed, grabbing a cookie and kissing his mother's cheek.  Then he climbed down from his chair and hobbled back over to the couch, climbing up on it and settling against the cushions, exhausted.

 Pacey studied the little boy.  "He's so tiny and frail."

 "Yes he is," Mrs. Ryan agreed.

 "What did the doctor say," Jolie asked in a low voice.

 Deana frowned.  "They think they might have found a cure.  They're testing now.  But it's going to be so expensive Jo.  Plus, there are no guarantees that it will work.  I'd be willing to put Tim on the list to try it once they take human volunteers but I seriously doubt that he would get a chance.  Plus, there is no way that I could pay for his medicine and our rent…."  She paused, tears in her eyes.  "And there's no guarantee that they'll approve it in time."  Deana looked over at her son lying on the couch.  "I can't loose him Jo.  He's my life."

 Pacey lowered his head in shame.  "Mrs. Ryan, please tell me what's wrong with Tim."

 "He has a rare kidney disease."

 "C-can it be cured?"

 "They think so.  Final tests are being run this year."

 "That's great news."

 Mrs. Ryan smiled sadly.  "Yes, but even if it does work Deana can't afford it.  Nor can she get Tim on the list to volunteer.  She doesn't have that kind of pull."

 "I do," Pacey said softly.

 "What was that," Mrs. Ryan asked, a twinkle in her eyes.  "You don't even have a good health plan for your employees."

 "I realize that Mrs. Ryan."

 "Suit yourself."

 Pacey looked over at Tim.  "Will he survive," he asked, afraid of the answer but needing to know.

 "What do you care," Mrs. Ryan asked.  "What was it you said, oh yes, 'tell them to get off their asses and work.  I have enough bills to pay without having to pay theirs as well'."

 Pacey closed his eyes.  "I didn't-

 "Yes you did young man."

 Pacey looked at Mrs. Ryan with pleading eyes.  "Please tell me if Tim will survive."

 Mrs. Ryan was silent.

 Pacey grabbed her hand.  "Please!"

 Mrs. Ryan waved her hand.

The apartment was now dark, except for the light provided by a single lamp on the table by the couch.  Deana sat there, holding a battered teddy bear and a photograph.  She looked as if she'd aged ten years and silent tears streamed down her face.  "Happy eighth birthday baby," she whispered.

 Pacey leaned over her shoulder and looked at the photograph in her hand.  "NO!"

 "Yes," Mrs. Ryan insisted.

 Pacey stood where he was, stunned.  "But it can be changed right?  Is it too late to save him?"

 Mrs. Ryan took Pacey's hand.  "We must go.  I have other things to show you and my time grows short."

 "But you haven't answered my questions," he protested.

 "There is no time for that now young man," she told him firmly.  "You can hold a pity party later."  Waving her hand she took them to their next destination.

 "Alana, grab that pot!"

 "Bessie, where's Roxanne?"

 "Andie, your husband's calling you!"

 "Dawson, Majandra needs a potty break."

 "Joey, help me with this package!"

 "Gale's gonna burn the ham again."

 Pacey looked around at the crowded house.  People were scattered all over the Leery residence, cooking, bringing in presents, setting the table, and running after the kids.  "What's this," he asked Mrs. Ryan.

 "Just watch."

 Jack came rushing by with a load of packages with Pacey's niece, Majandra, tagging along behind him.  Bessie came by next with a plate full of rolls.  Joey's nice, Alana, brought in plates.  Gale Leery stepped out of the kitchen, fanning herself.  "I'm getting to old for this," she muttered.

 "Aww…Mrs. Leery, you're never too old to cook a great meal and hang with your friends and family," Andie chirped, putting an arm around her shoulders.

 Gale rolled her eyes.  "I never will understand where you got that eternal vault of optimism buried inside you."

 Andie grinned.  "Well, it's certainly not hereditary."

 Gale laughed.

 "It's her gift," Doug said, kissing his wife on the cheek.

 "And to think Pacey used to say you were gay," Andie retorted, smiling.

 "Andie, give me a free sample," Gale pleaded.
 
 "Okay," Andie paused and winked at Doug.  "You didn't burn the ham."

 Gale sighed in relief.  "Bless you child," she said before going back into the kitchen.

 Andie and Doug laughed.

 "They're all celebrating Christmas together again," Pacey said in amazement.

 Mrs. Ryan nodded.  "We never stopped, even when everyone couldn't make it."

 Pacey did not respond.

 "Okay everyone," Mitch Leery yelled, coming into the living room.  "Let's eat."

 Sixteen people converged into the room.

Pacey's eyes widened.  "Look at all of them.

 "Let's give thanks," Mitch said, bowing his head.

 Jen and Joey looked at each other and smiled before doing the same.

 "Good girl Jennifer," Mrs. Ryan commented.

 "You know they can't hear you," Pacey quipped.

 Mrs. Ryan glared at him.  "Young man, some things you will never understand."

 "Let's give thanks for this food," Mitch began.

 "And for family," Gale added.

 "For friends," Dawson said.

"For reunions," Gretchen piped in.

 "To Christmas Day Football on the Sports Network," Jack joked, receiving a chorus of chuckles.

 "For rebuilding connections," Andie added.

 "For those that couldn't be here with us," Doug said softly.

 "For the snow," Roxanne contributed.

 "And the mistletoe," Alana added for good measure.

 "For pretty, wrapped presents," Alex joked, grinning.

 "For Gale not burning the ham," Bodie quipped.

 Gale opened her eyes and glared at him.

 "For Christmas Carol sing-a-longs," Bessie said, smiling.

 "For Grams starting this tradition years ago," Jen added softly.

 "For forgiveness," Joey finished.

 "Here here," everyone chorused.

 "Let's eat," Jack enthused.

 Pacey watched as they all sat down and began dinner.  "All these people," Pacey commented.

 "They're all a part of your extended family Pacey," Mrs. Ryan told him.

 "Look at everyone," he continued, his eyes sweeping around the table.  Look at how big Alex got…and Dawson's sister Roxy and my nieces…wow."

 "Do you see what you've been missing?"

 He looked around, his eyes landing on Joey.  "Yeah," Pacey whispered.  "I do."

 Mrs. Ryan nodded and waved her hand.

 They were standing in front of Mrs. Ryan's house.

 "Who lives here now," Pacey asked, looking at the light in the window.

 "Jennifer."

 "Jen lives in Capeside?"

 "Yes, she's the local psychiatrist."

 Pacey snorted with laughter.  "I knew all that analyzing and advice was gonna put her in the swivel chair."  He looked at Mrs. Ryan closely.  "Why did you bring me here?"

 "We need to step back a moment.  There's something you need to see."

 Joey found that she could not sleep.  Agitated, she'd gone downstairs with her easel and paints to the porch where she'd angrily set up shop in the yard and splattered paint all over the canvas, the snow and herself as she cursed aloud.  Exasperated because she didn't feel better, Joey plopped onto the bottom step, chewing on her lip and thinking as the paint dried.  Finally, she realized that she had to talk to someone.  Jumping to her feet, she picked up the canvas, placed the easel back on the porch and got in her car.

 Pacey's eyes widened as a black Civic pulled up the drive and a woman got out, striding across the yard.  "Joey?"

 Mrs. Ryan nodded.

 Instantly they were inside the house.

Jen came to the door.  "Who is it," she mumbled.

 "JEN!  JEN!  It's Joey!  I need to talk to you."

 Jen opened the door.  "Wha-' she stopped, staring at Joey who had paint splattered on her clothes and body, her hair a mess, clutching a canvas in her right hand.  Jen's eyebrows rose.  "Feeling frustrated," she asked, moving back to let Joey in, shutting the door behind her.  "You do realize what time it is?"

 "Yeah, but I knew you'd be up," Joey said.  "Besides, I come equipped with bribery material," she added, handing the canvas to Jen.  "I made this for you.  Be careful because it's not completely dry."

 Jen chuckled.  "Sure."  She examined the small painting.  "Go a little Pollock?"

 Joey glared at her.  "I need to talk to someone and, since you've got a degree in BS I thought you'd be the best person to talk to."

 Jen was amused.  "I'm so flattered," she said, sitting the canvas on the kitchen table.  "I'm all ears."

 Joey ran a hand through her disheveled hair.  "Jen, I think I'm losing my mind."

 "Gee Joey, I already knew that," Jen joked, grinning.

 "Jen," Joey warned.  "I'm serious."

 "Okay, okay.  Sorry."  Jen sat down on the couch, curling her feet under her.  "Go on."

 Joey sighed.  "I've been going a little nutty lately and-" she noticed Jen's look-"I mean more than normal.  It's like I can't get rid of all these voices in my head."

 "What kind of voices?"

 "Voices telling me that I'm such a bitch…such a screw up.  I'm telling you Jen, I can't sleep at night.  I feel like the most horrid person in the world."  Joey paused, her voice thick with tears.  "And, lately, I've been thinking a lot about Pacey."

 "Joey-" Jen began.

 "And I know that it's wrong and that I shouldn't," she continued.  "I know that I'm the one that walked away and that I screwed up.  I accept that but it's driving me insane."  Joey reached into her pocket and pulled out the article from People that she had torn out.  "Have you seen this?"

Jen leaned up and took the article, examining it.  "Yeah, I read it."

"Do you see what I've let him become?  Do you see how much he's changed?"

Pacey's eyes widened.  "Oh Jo."

"Joey has been living in her own hell all these years Pacey," Mrs. Ryan said, looking at
him closely.

"Joey, you can't blame yourself for how Pacey's turned out."

"Why not?"

"You can't change that.  What Pacey is now…that's not your fault."

"Yes it is!  When we were together…I promised him that I would never leave!"

 Jen's eyes widened.  "So, because you left, you feel like you're the one that betrayed and you're the reason he's so bitter and selfish and…."

 "Yeah."

 Pacey closed his eyes, something pricking his eyes.  "God, I had no idea she felt like this."

 "You never bothered to find out Pacey," Mrs. Ryan reminded him.  "You haven't seen her since the day she left you."

 Jen sighed.  "Joey that was not your fault.  You should not have had to put up with the way he treated you in the end.  He changed Joey.  I don't know why but he did."

 "And that's my fault," Joey added.  "I must have not done something.  I mean, there must have been something that I missed…something I fucked up….  It just didn't make any sense that he changed."

 "Of course it does Joey," Jen told her.  "I can't tell you why he changed but I can tell you the circumstances that most likely led to it."

 Joey looked at her.  "Okay."

 "Number one, he got too involved with his business and the money that he was making.  For some reason, he got that 'money is more important than anything else' thought in his head and no one could have gotten it out of his head but himself.  And he didn't want to."

 Joey was silent.

 "Number two, he got too secure in the belief that he could treat you however he wanted to and that you would always be there no matter what because you loved him."

 "I'd have died for him," Joey whispered, looking at the floor.  "I still would."

 Pacey felt the wetness on his cheeks again, realizing that for the second time this night that he was crying.

 "Number three, the child always develops some form of their parents personalities.  I think that Pacey let that dark part of him resurface, the part like his father.  I think he knew that and it scared him.  Therefore, he pushed you and everyone else away, subconsciously, because the better part of him knew that it was no place for someone he loved."

 Joey wiped at her cheek.  "Why didn't I see that earlier?  Why didn't I try to get him to tell me what was bothering him.  I knew that something was…other than the business…but I just couldn't bring myself to ask because things were already a little rocky with us."

 "It's a normal reaction to ignore things we don't want to believe Jo," Jen told her, winking.

 "But I shouldn't have left him," she exclaimed, stamping her foot.  "I'm not a quitter, yet I just gave up on him and left him alone."

 "Joey, you didn't have a choice.  You'd tried as hard as you could.  You were all used up.  You'd given Pacey your body, your heart, your soul…everything.  And he was the one that threw it back in your face, not you."

 "But I still should have showed him that I would never give up on him!  That I would never give up on us!  What was I thinking?"

 "Joey, you're one of the most sincere people I know and you would never leave unless you had no other choice.  Especially not Pacey.  I don't think I'll ever see you as happy as you were with him."

"Neither do I," Joey agreed.  "And that makes me even more horrid for what happened with Ben.  I know that what happened between Ben and I was my fault too.  And now that our marriage is in shambles…."  Joey trailed off, tears flowing down her cheeks.  "Everything I touch I screw up."

Jen got off the couch and went over to Joey, wrapping her arms around her friend.  "Joey, you can't take the blame for everything."

"But I knew Jen, I KNEW that I didn't love Ben the way that I loved Pacey!  But he was so sincere and the only person that seemed to understand and wanted to comfort me.  We'd always been friends…and I knew that he liked me.  I knew it.  But it didn't bother me because I loved Pacey and knew that I would never stop.  And it didn't bother Ben at all.  He knew that I was taken and we got along great.  But I never should have let him in that day."

"What day?  The day you left?"

"Yeah."

Pacey's mouth fell open.  He looked at Mrs. Ryan and she nodded.

"What happened?"

"Ben came by to get the portfolio and I was so upset and angry that Pacey had forgotten about Christmas that I just started talking as soon as Ben walked inside.  I told him how upset I was and that the day was special and that Pacey wasn't there.  And Ben gave me a hug and…and he said something to me that I remembered later on, which is why I went to his house after I left Pacey."

"WHAT," Pacey yelled.  "YOU WENT WHERE?"

"Pacey," Mrs. Ryan admonished.  "Just listen."

"What did he say Joey," Jen asked, never having heard this part of the story, knowing that Joey had never told anyone.

"H-he told me that if I were his wife that he would never forget about me."

Pacey's eyes widened and his fists clenched.  "That prick!"

"Jo, he shouldn't have said that to you, not with you so upset."

"I know that now but then it just sounded so wonderful.  And he was honest with me.  He's always been honest with me.  I didn't want to leave Pacey…ever.  But, when he came home and said what he said, I just snapped.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I had to go.  I was so hurt and upset and I just had to get out."

"That's perfectly understandable Jo," Jen agreed.  "And you were right."

"NO I WASN'T," she yelled, pulling away.  "I SHOULD HAVE STAYED!"

"And done what?  Let Pacey drag you further and further down with him until you couldn't recognize who you were anymore either?"

"Yes."

"No Joey," Pacey whispered, going over to Joey and standing next to her.  "Stop saying that.  As much as I hate to say this…Ben was right.  You didn't deserve what I put you through."

"Fuck that Joey.  There is no way that you could have saved Pacey from what happened to him.  You couldn't."  She paused and smiled softly.  "And I think he might finally be starting to realize it."

Joey stared at her.  "Why would you say that?"

"This article," she said, holding up the piece of paper.  "Read between the lines Jo.  Sure, he's bitter and angry and pompous…but look behind that.  He's barely hanging on himself.  He's alone and he's realizing, not consciously yet, but subconsciously that he royally fucked up."

Joey managed a small laugh.  "You think?"

"Yeah."

"But what about Ben?  What do I say to him?"

"What did you say to him?

    "When I went to Ben's that night I told him that I had left Pacey because I couldn't take anymore.  He told me that I was welcome to stay there for as long as I liked.  And I spent the night.  The next day I went back to the apartment and with his help got my things packed.  Then I rented a van and drove back to Capeside.  I stayed at the B&B for months you know, just holed up; hoping that Pacey would come after me.  But he never did.  Ben would call once a week to check on me.  And when I eventually started to feel a little better he drove down here and we talked.  I saw what a good man he was and that I was very lucky to have his friendship…even though I knew that he would rather have something more."  Joey paused, taking a deep breath.  "Then, one day, I realized that Pacey was not coming back and that I had a wonderful man in front of me that loved me.  He asked me to marry him a few years after Pacey and I split and, without really thinking it through, I accepted."

Pacey was gazing at her with glistening eyes.  "Oh Jo.  I'm so sorry."

"He tried to make it the best marriage possible.  We both did at first.  But I quickly realized that I would never be over Pacey and that I could never love Ben in the way that he needed me to.  But I couldn't let him go either.  He was the one thing I had left to hold on to.  And I clung so hard that I lost sight of myself, but in a different way than with Pacey.  Not only did I retreat inside my shell but I became numb.  So numb that no matter how much Ben tried he couldn't penetrate the ice wall I had built up around me.  I knew that he was unhappy.  I was unhappy.  I wanted a divorce but couldn't ask for one because I was too afraid to be by myself…I was afraid that I would go insane.  I wanted to let Ben go and find his happiness with someone else but then again, I didn't want him to leave me all alone."

Tears were falling down Joey's cheeks and once again Pacey tried to brush them away, fresh tears of his own falling when his hand only went through her again.  "God, I want to touch you so bad," he whispered, his mouth so close to her ear that an inch closer and his chin would be through her cheekbone.

"Ben has tried so hard to salvage our relationship.  I tried but I can't because I know that there is no relationship to salvage.  Not in the way that he wants it to be.  We finally separated, as you know, about six months ago.  I don't know what's going to happen.  I hope that he'll agree to a divorce and that maybe we can at least keep some semblance of friendship…but I'm not going to hold my breath."  Joey paused, squaring her shoulders.  And I've finally realized that I can stand on my own two feet without him…just as I can without Pacey, no matter how hard it might be."

"Jo, if Pacey were to come back tomorrow and beg for your forgiveness…would you forgive him?"

Joey smiled sadly.  "Oh Jen.  Don't you understand?  I forgave him a long time ago.  It's myself that I haven't been able to forgive."

Pacey really was crying now.

Jen nodded, realization in her eyes.  "I understand."

Joey smiled weakly.  "You're really good at this shrink thing."

Jen snorted.  "Well, I did major in it you know."

Joey actually laughed.  "Yeah."

"Feel better," Jen asked, hugging her once again.

Joey nodded.  "You know what?  I really think I do."

Mrs. Ryan gazed at Pacey. "My time is up."

Pacey turned back around.  "No!  There has to be more to see."

Mrs. Ryan waved her hand again and they were outside, standing in the middle of a street with a canopy of dark trees.  "There is nothing more for me to show you."

"But you can't just leave me here," he protested.  "I don't even know where here is!"

"You will Pacey," she told him, dissolving before his eyes.  The wind picked up and Pacey realized for the first time that he was only wearing his pajamas and bathrobe.  The wind carried her final words as it rushed past him, sending chills down his spine.  "You willllll."