Ten years ago, I walked up to this door on shaking legs, with two black eyes and a taped broken nose.  I’d come to apologize to Joey Potter for doing the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life:  hitting her and thereby severing our friendship. 

At first, Bodie and Bessie wouldn’t allow me to see her.  And I’m pretty sure that if my face hadn’t already been as badly mangled as it had been, Bessie would have slapped me until she got tired and then let Bodie take over.  I wouldn’t have blamed them a bit, especially when I saw her.  The knowledge that I’d put that ugly bruise on her beautiful face caused bile to rise.

Quietly yet firmly, she’d told them that she wanted to hear what I had to say.  Reluctantly they’d let her come outside with me, although Bodie decided that the front porch needed sweeping.

I’d told her how stupid I was.  How very sorry I was.  I rambled on and on about knowing I’d screwed everything up and that I’d been so mad that I hadn’t been thinking, as if that’s any excuse. 

When I eventually trailed off, she said she forgave me.  Before jubilation took hold, however, she followed it up by saying that she didn’t want me to be a part of her life anymore.  She’d said it gently, which made it hurt even worse.  The fact that it wasn’t said in anger told me she meant every word she was saying.

“We  share some classes,” she began, running a hand through her wavy hair.  “We share friends, and we share the same small town.  I’m not going to cross the street when I see you coming down the sidewalk, Dawson, but you have to understand.  You and I, we’re not friends.  We’re two people who’ve grown apart, one more willingly than the other, I suppose.”

“I know we can’t be friends right now, Joey, but -”

“Dawson, I want you to have a good life,” she said softly, searching my eyes.  “That sounds like some trite cliché I’m just tossing off, but I’m serious.  I want good things for you.  And as I’ve said before, I don’t fall into that category.  I haven’t for a long time now, actually.”

“What do you mean?” I’d asked her, the cold making my bruises throb.  Then I remembered that the cold was undoubtedly causing the same reaction in her own bruise.  The one I’d given her.

“You’re so . . . fixated is the word, I guess.  You’re so fixated on me and my life that your school work has suffered.  You left your dream of filmmaking because I wasn’t there to share it with you anymore,” she told me, and I’d flinched as she hit the nail right on the head.   “You’ve been spending your time pining away and pretending when you should have been busy moving on and getting over me.”

We were silent then, and I’d absorbed her words.  And I saw that she was right.  “I’ll leave you alone, Jo,” I said after a few tries clearing my throat.  “I - I want you to have a good life, too.  Even if that good life includes hi- . . . includes Pacey.”

“Goodbye, Dawson,” she’d said, her words full of sadness and her eyes bright with tears she’d refused to shed in front of me.

The door opens before I have a chance to fully knock, startling both me and the woman on the other side, who obviously expected someone else.  We both stare at each other for a moment before Joey Witter smiles.  “Hello, Dawson.”

“Wow, look at you,” I say after I find my voice again, smiling as I gesture to her rounded belly.  The overalls she’s wearing over a red turtleneck do nothing but accentuate her pregnancy.

“Yeah, look at me.  I’m as big as a house,” she laughs, and then she turns her attention to the woman beside me.  “You must be Sarah.”

“That’s me,” my wife says, holding up a hand to indicate she’s guilty as charged.  “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“You’re all he talked about when I ran into him over Fourth of July weekend,” Joey tells her, which isn’t exactly the truth.  While I did go on and on about Sarah, the woman I fell in love with and married nearly three years ago, we mostly talked about old times.  The group, and what everyone’s been up to.

I met Sarah in college, at UCLA.  We were both film majors, naturally, and she didn’t put up with any of my self-involved “pretentious” crap.  She’s widely considered a success in the independent film world while I struggle to break into Hollywood.  Every night is Movie Night, although her sense of humor when degrading whatever box-office hit is currently playing reminds me of Jen.

Who, not surprisingly, is a successful psychiatrist in New York City.  She’s got a four-year-old son named David, and she’s engaged to a man that Joey’s rather impressed with.  She’s going to be a bridesmaid in their February wedding, along with Andie, who’s going to fly back from France to attend.

Andie hasn’t lived in Paris long, just since she married her second husband two years ago.  Her first left her when she had to spend time in a mental health clinic when she relapsed after her mother died.  Wealthy enough to live however and wherever she wants to, she chooses to live in Paris, working as a tour guide.  She believes that nobody who’s natively from Paris truly appreciates the city and it takes a foreign person to really do it justice.  Sounds like Andie. 

Jack and his life partner, Aaron, have just adopted a baby girl they named Samantha.  Joey showed me the pictures and she’s beautiful, with dark hair and bright blue eyes.  Jack, an agent responsible for scouting some of the most successful and talented players for a multitude of sports, met Aaron when they were both fighting to sign the same football player.  Since they live in Boston, too, Joey says they’re over for dinner nearly once a week.

When Joey left Capeside for Boston University, Pacey went with her and attended community college for two years and then, like he’d planned, transferred to UMASS.  He’s currently climbing steadily through the ranks of advertising.  He’s actually very good at what he does, creating ad campaigns that have aired during Super Bowls, that have won Clio Awards.  He asked Joey to marry him seven Christmases ago.

Naturally she said yes, and from the pictures Joey showed me, all of Capeside turned out for their May wedding.  “Mostly they came to see for themselves what Joey Potter and Pacey Witter called a wedding.  We threw tradition out the window, with Bessie giving me away and Jen acting as Best Man.” 

She’s a political lobbyist, having graduated with honors after majoring in political science.  She’s either respected or reviled, depending on which party you ask.  She’s good at what she does, throws her heart into her work, and it shows.  She’s done a lot of good for the country, been instrumental in getting landmark bills passed.  She loves her life and her family, which includes both Pacey and the little dark haired girl he’s carrying as he walks up behind her in the doorway.

“Hey,” I greet him, and he nods in return. Pacey wasn’t thrilled when Joey invited me and my wife to Christmas Day dinner, but she’d insisted because it’s the first time in years that the entire group is together in Capeside for the holidays.  Even Andie, who’s come back to meet her niece and spend the holiday with her brother and his partner, along with her husband.  He’s not exactly hostile, but he’s not exactly friendly, either.  I’d feel the same way.

“Pacey, this is my wife, Sarah.  Sarah, this is Pacey Witter,” I introduce them.  He smiles and extends his free hand to her and they shake.

“Nice to meet you, Sarah,” he says sincerely.  His forearm supporting the girl’s rump, he hitches her a little higher against his side.  “This is Miss Molly.”

She’s beautiful.  Nearly three years old, she’s a perfect combination of the two of them.  Her face is Joey’s as I remember it from childhood, with Pacey’s eyes.  Her mouth is a feminine version of Pacey’s, but before she shyly hides her face against his neck I clearly see the lopsided smile. 

“Hi, munchkin,” I say, which brings her out of her bashfulness as she looks at me indignantly.

“I not a munchkin,” she informs me haughtily, putting me in my place.  “I a princess.”

“I do apologize, Your Highness,” I say in my humblest tone, and Joey ushers us inside as we all laugh.

The B&B is warm, especially after the freezing cold outside.  Andie squeals happily and rushes over to hug me and then Sarah, whom she’s never met.  I’ve missed Andie so much more than I’d even imagined.

“Would you like something to drink, Dawson?  Sarah?” Joey asks.  “You’re not allowed to have coffee.”

“Why?” Sarah asks, puzzled.

Pacey answers before she has a chance to.  “If Joey can’t have coffee, she’s not about to let anyone else enjoy it, either.”

“Sounds perfectly logical,” I laugh.

“Carrying a person around in your womb for nine months doesn‘t exactly make one employ logic at all times.  So shut up,” Joey replies, her playful crankiness earning a chuckle all around.

Sarah requests cocoa as Jack hugs me, then takes our coats.  Aaron is indeed a very nice guy, and very much in love with Jack.  Good for him.  For both of them.  Their daughter is a lucky little girl.

Jen and her fiancé, holding the hand of her little boy, join the group and introductions are made all the way around.  Her hair is long and curly, flowing over her shoulders and somehow making her seem a little taller than the last time I’d seen her, five years ago when she referred me to an anger management therapist.  We’ve kept in contact but we’re both busy people living on different coasts.

Sins of the past, while never forgotten, are seemingly forgiven.  It’s good to be with old friends, good to introduce them to the love of my life, the woman who’s made me a better man.  I was mistaken in believing Joey was my soulmate, because nothing has ever felt more right than being with Sarah.

Wondering what’s keeping Joey and Pacey, because I‘m just about to explain how I met and fell in love with Sarah, I look toward the kitchen and a smile spreads across my face.

Leaning over her belly while still holding their child, Pacey rests his forehead against her own and she smiles up at him, lifting her hands to his face.  The silver bracelet adorning her wrist is heavy with numerous charms, and Molly interrupts their moment by playing with the momentos of her parents‘ relationship.  Joey laughs and includes her in the hug she gives her husband, and the sight is honestly so touching it warms my heart.

Glancing at Sarah, who’s followed my gaze to the three of them, I smile and she returns it.  Her green eyes are concerned when they have no reason to be.  I kiss her briefly, surprising her, before looking back at the Witters.

Life is just as it should be.