Joey pulled her hair up into a makeshift ponytail as the subway lurched to a stop in front of the Boston Bay campus. Hiking her book bag up over her shoulder, she quickly checked the street for traffic before hurrying across it and up the steps of the building, pushing through the heavy doors and checking her watch as she jogged down the long corridor. She finally emerged into the classroom, disheveled and breathless, and dropped down into the first available seat.

“Lucky for you Professor Resnick is running late again, too.”

Joey looked over her shoulder to see Kevin sitting behind her. “Oh, hey.” She smiled.

“Hi.” He grinned, leaning forward. “I was going to call you last night but my roommate ended up dragging me out to some party. Would you be interested in doing something some night this week? Whenever it’s good for you.”

Joey looked at him a moment. Despite the fact that they had a reasonably good time together that first night, she hadn’t really expected anything to come of it, but now they had been out on a couple of dates since then. She didn’t know where things were leading, it was just kind of nice for her to have some semblance of a social life. She really didn’t put much thought in to it beyond that. “Okay.” She shrugged. “I’m working a lot of shifts at the restaurant this week, but I’ll see if my neighbor can take Megan on one of my off nights.”

“Sounds good.” Kevin nodded and smiled, sitting back in his chair as the professor finally entered the room.

Joey turned to face the front of the class, taking a deep breath as she opened her notebook.

Pacey leaned on the bar, talking with the guys he had arrived with from his office. As he took their drink orders to buy his round, he noticed Sharon approach from where she had been sitting with some other people he recognized from the secretarial staff.

“I’ll get hers, too.” Pacey called out to the bartender and nodded towards Sharon as she moved to stand next to him at the bar.

“That’s not necessary, Pacey.”

“Hey, I still owe you for getting me those tickets.” He shrugged.

“That’s right.” She smiled as she considered this. “I forgot about that. You do owe me.”

Pacey grinned as he opened his wallet to pull out some bills. Sharon leaned over his arm as she reached for her drink from the bartender. “Oh, cute little girl.” She exclaimed as she glanced over to see Megan’s picture in his wallet. “Is she related? She kind of looks like you.”

Pacey chuckled. “Yeah, kind of related. That’s my daughter, Meg.”

Sharon hesitated, looking up at him with a dubious smile. “No way. Are you serious?”

“Yeah. You don’t believe me?”

“Well, how old is she?” Sharon took a sip of her gin and tonic, looking back to the picture again. “You seem so young. To be a dad, I mean. Why don’t you have any pictures of her up in your office? I never knew you had a little girl. The whole time you’ve been here you’ve never mentioned her.”

Pacey shrugged, running his thumb over the picture before he closed the wallet and shoved it back in his pocket. “She just turned six. And, I haven’t been here that long.” He took a swig off his beer. “Besides, you’re kind of snippy at work. I try to avoid you.” He grinned as he felt her punch him lightly on the arm.

“I am not snippy. I happen to be very busy. Not all of our jobs involve schmoozing people. Some of us actually have to do real work.”

“Schmooze?” Pacey raised his eyebrows indignantly. “I do not schmooze. I network and negotiate.”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “I can hear you on the phone from where I sit, Pacey.”

“Well, if you’re so busy there like you claim to be, what are you doing eavesdropping on my calls?”

“I’m not eavesdropping. You talk too loud.” Her voice rose in denial before she caught Pacey’s smile and shook her head. “You’re just trying to get a rise out of me, aren’t you?”

“Now, would I do something like that?” He asked sweetly, lowering his head to meet her hazel green eyes.

Sharon blinked a few times, holding his gaze. “I think you might be starting to annoy me.” She smiled.

Pacey grinned as he raised his beer bottle again. “I don’t know about that. I think you might be starting to dig me.”

Joey crept quietly out of the bathroom, tugging on her shoes before she crossed the small apartment to the living room. She found her sweater tossed over the back of the couch and pulled it on, hesitating as she heard the sound of the bedroom door opening behind her.

“Are you leaving already?” Kevin yawned, running his hand through his spiky hair.

Joey gave him a quick smile, avoiding his eyes as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Um, yeah. I don’t like to be out too late when Megan’s at my neighbor’s. I want to get her home and into her own bed, you know?”

“Sure.” Kevin smiled. “So, maybe we can get together this weekend.”

“Maybe.” Joey shrugged noncommittally as she headed for the door, already knowing that it was Megan’s weekend to stay with Pacey. “I’ll call you.”

When she finally reached her car in the parking lot to his apartment building, she opened the door and slid into the front seat, gripping the steering wheel as she let out a soft, shaky sigh. There had only been one other guy since Pacey, a friend from the restaurant she worked at part time when they were first deciding to separate. He had started out as a shoulder to cry on and she had ended up, much to her surprise, in bed with him. She realized, looking back, that her actions then were most likely based on a simple need for human comfort, but she also thought that maybe some part of her just wanted to get it over with, to maybe prove to herself that she could be with someone other than Pacey. To maybe learn how to be with someone other than Pacey and find out who she was without him. To maybe forget who she was when she was with him.

And, as if the whole experience hadn’t already been so emotionally tumultuous for her, there was the devastating aftermath when Pacey inevitably found out. Joey closed her eyes, the mere thought of that time in her life causing the harsh sting of tears and a feeling of nausea to settle in her stomach. They had plenty of fights over the course of their marriage and they were never afraid to call the other out on an issue, to confront a problem head on no matter how many words were exchanged in anger or irritation or frustration. That was the deal they made. But, of all those words that passed between them, not one was important enough for her to even remember it now. His utter and completely heartbreaking silence after her admission, however, was something she would never forget as long as she lived.

Some would say that under the circumstances it couldn’t be considered a real betrayal, that it wasn’t technically an infidelity, as they were separated and the possibility of divorce had already been discussed. Pacey even said something similar, ultimately telling her that there was no reason for him to forgive her because she didn’t do anything that needed to be forgiven. This might have even brought her some measure of relief, if only she had ever been able to forgive herself.

She quickly wiped at her wet cheeks as she started up the car and pulled out onto the street to start for home. She had once sat down in one of her more self-castigating moments and tried to remember the last time she had sex with Pacey. Unfortunately, one usually never realizes at the moment it actually happens that it is going to be the last kiss, the last touch, so there is nothing of significance to mark the occasion with. It loses itself in all the other touches, all the other kisses.

Joey had hundreds of memories of being with Pacey, ranging from a long weekend in Newport on their second anniversary when they barely left the bed, let alone the room, to rushed, stolen moments in between work and school and life. (She could even remember the night they’d most likely conceived Megan, in the back seat of the Witter Wagoneer, both of them getting caught up in a wave of passion that carried them just a little too far, the consequences of which they could have never fully comprehended at the time.) But, she didn’t really know why she continually tried to search her brain to pinpoint exactly when that last, final moment between them happened, as if there was going to be some answer hidden there for her. Some clue to an ending she never saw coming.

Joey pulled her car into the driveway, turning off the engine to sit there silently in the dark. She really had no reason for deciding to sleep with Kevin tonight. She supposed that most people didn’t go around feeling the need to assign reasons to such things in life, but she couldn’t help herself. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she wiped at her eyes again. She’d had reasons for sleeping with Pacey that first time. Sometimes she was afraid she was never going to have those same reasons for being with anyone again.

She got out of the car and crossed the yard to climb the steps to Anne’s back porch, knocking softly on the door.

Anne opened it, the warm light from her kitchen spilling out around her. “Hi…” Her smile faded into a look of concern as she saw Joey’s face. “What is it? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“No. I’m fine.” Joey shrugged, giving her a watery smile. “Just the usual stuff.” She explained helplessly.

Anne sighed sympathetically but before she could speak Megan padded into the kitchen in her pajamas behind her.

“Megan, what are you doing still up?” Joey wiped at her eyes quickly, crouching down so they were at eye level.

“I heard your car. I was waiting for you.” Megan looked at her mother, tilting her head. “Are you sad, Mommy?”

“No, no.” Joey assured her with forced cheerfulness. “Mommy is just a little tired, that’s all. We need to go home and get into bed, okay?”

Megan flung herself into her arms. “I will give you a big hug to make you feel better.”

Joey closed her eyes and smiled, her face beaming as the little girl wrapped her arms tightly around her neck. “Thanks, honey.” She sniffed. “That was just what I needed.”

Pacey walked Sharon across the street from the bar, slowing to a stop next to her as she reached into her bag for her car keys. “This is me right here.” She motioned with her hand. “The Saab.”

Pacey raised his eyebrows in appreciation, exhaling with a slow whistle of breath as he felt the drowsy effects of the alcohol starting to creep up on him. “Nice car. Guess you’re doing fine in the salary department without my help.”

She turned to face him, leaning into him and brushing against his body as she lowered her voice. “I just bought it last week. Do you want to check it out?” She held up the keys.

Pacey looked down at her, her hair that she usually wore up at the office fell down past her shoulders and her shirt was unbuttoned underneath her blazer to reveal just a glimpse of her ample cleavage. He had to admit that he’d found her attractive at work, and seeing her like this, relaxed and sexy in a reserved sort of way, made him start to entertain the idea of acting on that attraction. (Of course, the several beers he downed over the course of the evening were ready to throw that idea a party.) But, before he had the chance to do anything, he felt her hands come to rest on his waist as she leaned up to kiss him, crushing her breasts against his chest as she moved into his body.

He gave her a small nervous smile as she stepped back to look at him. “Sharon, I, um, don’t really know if we’re doing the right thing here.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why? Because we work together?”

“No.” Pacey sighed in defeat. “Because I like you.”

“This wouldn’t be right because you like me? Explain how that makes sense.”

Pacey watched her, his eyes a somber bluish-gray as he spoke carefully. “I think that you should be with someone who can offer you more than a one night stand. I think you might want to be with someone who can offer you more than that.”

Sharon wrinkled her forehead in confusion. “So, you’re saying that’s all this could be? Then I’m still not getting you, because I don’t understand why you’re telling me that you like me if…I mean, how can you stand here and say that you know nothing could happen when we haven’t even…”

“Because I’m in love with my wife.” Pacey cut in softly, dropping his head as he shoved his hands in his pants pockets, swaying imperceptibly where he stood in his partially intoxicated state as he quietly amended his words. “My ex-wife.”

“Oh.” Sharon’s face went blank as she nodded, taking another step back away from him. “I see.”

“I’m sorry.” Pacey shook his head with a pained expression. “But I’m not going to lie to you. That’s just the way things are. And you deserved to know that before anything happened here.” He shrugged his shoulders as he looked away.

“Well, can I ask you something then?” Sharon sighed after a moment of awkward silence. “If you love her, why aren’t you with her?”

Pacey brought his dark blue eyes back to hers. “Like I said, that’s just the way things are.”

Pacey rubbed his hand over his hair as he leaned back against the headboard. “Okay, so where were we?”

Megan adjusted her position in bed, getting comfortable as she fluffed her pillow. “Well, the prince and princess were staying in Upside Down Town for a while.”

“And was everyone talking backwards?”

“No, because if you stand on your head in Upside Down Town, everything gets reversed, so they didn’t have to talk backwards, Daddy.”

Pacey chuckled. “Ah, of course. How could I forget about that? Then where did they go after Upside Down Town?”

“They left Upside Down Town and they were traveling on the road and the prince all of a sudden stopped and kissed her.”

“He finally kissed her, huh?”

“Yep. And the princess was mad because she didn’t understand why he kissed her so they were arguing about it when they came to a bridge where a mean witch lived named Nellie.” Pacey grinned to himself as she continued. “The prince was trying to help her over the bridge but the princess let go of his hand because she wanted to do it herself and didn’t want him to see that she was afraid to cross.” Megan looked up at him. “She never likes the prince to know that she is afraid.”

“I think he might know that, sweetie.” Pacey patted her head. “But he’d never let on.”

Megan nodded. “So the princess ended up taking too long to cross the bridge and the witch came out and put an evil spell on her so that the princess could never make up her mind about anything. What to have for breakfast, what dress to wear. And the prince had to always wait for her to make decisions. She felt bad that she kept making the prince wait for her all the time.”

“I don’t think he minded waiting. Not for her.” Pacey sighed. “So, is the spell still on her now? Is that where we are in the story?”

“Nope.” Megan shook her head. “The prince counted to ten and kissed her a second time and all of a sudden the spell was broken. She didn’t have to make up her mind anymore because she knew what to do and what she wanted.”

Pacey didn’t say anything for a moment and Megan looked up at him, her wide blue eyes filled with curiosity. “How do you think the prince knew that would work?”