“Joey, did you see the note I left you on the bathroom mirror?”  Bessie stood in the kitchen of the B & B, hands on her hips, eyeing her younger sister.  “It’s the third time Brian’s phoned since you’ve been home.  Have you returned any of his calls?”

 “I keep meaning to,” Joey responded sheepishly, her cheeks coloring in embarrassment.  “It’s just that I kinda know what he’s calling about and I’m kinda not sure what I want to do…”

 “So you’re kinda avoiding him?”

 “Kinda.”

 Bessie shook her head in disapproval.  “Have you gone out with this boy or is that what all the evasiveness is about?”

 “Brian’s in my Art History class and we went to the Museum of Fine Arts together to work on an assignment.”  She sipped slowly from her cup of cinnamon tea before continuing.  “Then we went to a movie at the Student Center and spent two hours afterwards talking about it in the pub.”

 “What was the film?”

 “Pink Flamingos.”

 “Wow.  They’re still showing that old chestnut.”

 “I heard it’s a college tradition and, uh, seeing Pink Flamingos with someone for the first time is a definite bonding experience,” Joey snickered.

 “You had a good time?”

 “Yeah, very good,” she replied softly.  Absentmindedly, Joey twisted the ring she always wore on her middle finger.

 “So why are you playing hide-and-go-seek with this guy?”

 “I got a little carried away and told Brian about the open house Jen is having on New Year’s Eve.  I know he’s calling to try to get together for First Night Boston.  He lives in Connecticut so it’s not a problem for him to come back for the New Year.”

 “What would be so bad about a New Year’s date?  You’re planning on going to Boston anyway, aren’t you?” Bessie nudged.

 “I thought I was, but now I’m not so sure.”  Joey sighed and took her empty teacup to the sink.  “I found out Pacey will be there.”

 “So what?  I thought you two were friends now.”

 “Oh, we’re friends now, “ Joey huffed with a roll of her eyes and an air quote around the word friends.  “Pacey, however, will be bringing his girlfriend Amy to Jen’s and my stomach lacks the cast-iron coating it’d need to get through that.”

 “Joey, you and Pacey broke up nearly eight months ago.  It’s no surprise he’s seeing someone else.  If you’d stop your hopeless pining for him and reacquaint yourself with reality, you’d be seeing someone else, too.  Most likely someone named Brian.”  Bessie was in full big-sister-knows-best mode now.

 “Have you and Pacey been comparing notes?  ‘Cause you sound just like him.”

 “I think we’re both simply telling you the truth.”

 “The truth as you see it, perhaps.”  There was fire in Joey’s eyes and steel in her voice.  “The truth as I see it is that I am still in love with Pacey Witter and as much as I want him to be happy, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to watch him be happy with someone else.”

 “Have you talked about this with Pacey?”

 “Endlessly.”

 “And…?”

 “And he tells me he still loves me and wants me, but he thinks we need to be apart right now.  That we need to experience life on our own before we’re ready to try to be together again.”  Joey puckered her lips and furrowed her brow.  “It’s very hard for me to believe him.  He was so encouraging when I told him about the good time I had with Brian that I wanted to puke.”

 “Pacey has always wanted what’s best for you,” Bessie remarked as she put an arm around her sister.  “Why don’t you listen to him and start living a little.  If you and Pacey are meant to be, casual dates or even a romantic fling won’t matter in the long run.”

 “True love always wins in the end?”  Joey asked hopefully.

 “I like to think so, Sis, I like to think so.”

 “A big fat no on the mime, but the steel drum band is a possibility.”  Joey studied the guide to First Night Boston and frowned.  “I’m putting more effort into this than I did into picking my classes for next semester.  Here, “ she said passing the paper to Brian, “find some things you want to do.  I’m going to see if Jen needs a hand in the kitchen.”

 It was 4:00PM on New Year’s Eve and Brian had just arrived at Grams’s.  Joey had been there since 2:00 helping Jen and Jack get ready for the open house.

 “I’m up for just about anything, Joey.  It’s not going to be too cold tonight, only in the 30s, so it doesn’t matter if we’re indoors or not.”  Brian Winslow smiled, showing off an adorable pair of dimples and a set of teeth that would make the American Dental Association proud.  He styled his sandy blonde hair in a ski jump, not too heavy on the gel.  His brown eyes were round and ever curious, the perfect complement to his earnest, good-natured personality.  He wore navy blue Dockers and a burgundy sweater over a white polo shirt.  Brian liked Joey Potter and he was happy to be with her for this holiday celebration.  Whatever she wanted to do would be fine with him.

 “The Chinese acrobats are awesome,” Joey called as she headed towards the kitchen, “and the hypnotist is usually good for a laugh.  See what times they are and maybe work out something around them.”

 “Sounds good to me.”

 Joey approached Jen who was busy making sandwiches and cutting them into finger-food portions.  “I’m a nervous wreck, Jen.  Please give me something to do.”

 “No problem.  There’s a ton of fruit in the fridge that needs to be cut up for a fruit salad.  You can put it in that big glass bowl over on the counter,” replied Jen as she pointed to the island in the center of the spacious room.  “Why are you so jittery?”
 “Why do you think?” Joey asked snippily, flashing Jen a patented Potter look.

 “Sooo, Pacey will be here with Amy.  But you’re here with Brian who’s a real sweetheart and a hottie.  You’re doing fine.”

 “Oh, Jen, I’m not trying to compete with Pacey to see who has the better date.  I don’t know if I can handle seeing Pacey with Amy.  I’ve accepted it intellectually that he’s with someone else, but I’m not sure I’ve accepted it emotionally.”

 “You’re afraid you’re going to fall apart?”

 “Yeah.  I’m afraid Amy will be beautiful and nice and that she and Pacey will look happy together,” she said as she peeled a navel orange and broke it into sections.

 “Joey, I’ll end your suspense.  I’ve met Amy.  She’s beautiful, nice, and she does make Pacey happy.  Now you’re too smart a girl to have really believed that she’d be a toothless harridan whose idea of a good time is strolling through the cemetery complaining about her bunions.”  Jen laughed, hoping to wheedle a smile from her dour friend.

 Joey remained grim-faced.  “I’m book smart, Jen, but sometimes I feel like I don’t have a clue about life.”

 “Life has some hard lessons.  You can’t ace them all.”

 “I’d be happy to ace just one.”

 Your summer with Pacey on True Love was a definite A+,” Jen commented perceptively.

 The corners of Joey’s mouth softened at the mention of Pacey’s boat.  “Those were the best three months of my life, “ she sighed wistfully.  “Sometimes I think about all the turmoil and angst that led up to my decision to sail away with Pacey and I realize that now I’m getting a taste of the hurt he must gave felt seeing me with Dawson back then.  I never knew how much a heart could ache with longing until I felt the pain myself.”

 ‘What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”

 “Oh, put it in a fortune cookie already, Lindley,” Joey retorted, recognizing that the conversation was becoming too maudlin.  She took a deep breath.  “Okay, I’m going to deal and I’m not going to ruin this night for anyone, including me.  So where are Jack and Grams?”

 “They went to the supermarket to pick up some last minute items.  They should be back soon.”

 Brian walked into the kitchen, hands in his pockets.  “I think I’ve got a plan for us tonight so can I be of use in here?” he shyly inquired.

 “Of course,” Jen responded, handing him a knife.  “There are veggies to be cut and dip to be mixed.  We are definitely an equal opportunity employer in this house.”

 After he grabbed a bag of vegetables from the crisper bin, Brian settled in the seat next to Joey.  “I’m glad you invited me to spend New Year’s Eve with you.”

 Joey was touched by the sincerity in Brian’s eyes and she reached out and took his hand in hers.  “I’m very glad to be spending New Year’s Eve with you,” she replied with a warm smile.  For a moment, she even believed what she said.

 “How could anyone spin that many plates at once?” Brian wondered as he and Joey exited the makeshift arena where they’d just watched the troupe of Chinese acrobats perform.

 “They’re impressive,” Joey agreed.  “You’d never seen a show like this before?”

 “No, my family’s not much for circuses or fairs.  This was a first.”  He noticed the faraway look in Joey’s eyes and her silly grin.  “Hey, what are you smiling about?  My sheltered existence?” he inquired self-consciously.

 “Oh, Brian, sorry.  I’m not laughing at you.  I was just recalling the first time I ever saw the Chinese acrobats.  When I was about eleven, they came to town for the Fourth of July celebration at Waldick Island.  I went to see them with my friends Pacey and Dawson.  After it was over, Pacey was telling us that spinning plates wasn’t all that hard.  He bragged that he could do it, too.  Of course I challenged him to prove it.  We went back to his house and he cut the handle off an old broom and sanded the ends down flat.  Then he raided his mom’s cupboard and came out with a stack of Melmac plates.”

 “Melmac?”

 “It’s that unbreakable plastic they make kids’ dishes out of.”  Noting the confusion still written on his face, she continued.  “You’re from the wealthy suburbs of Connecticut so you have patterned china in your cabinets.  Families like Pacey’s and mine got most of our dinnerware from the five-and-dime.  The rest were freebies that came with cereal box giveaways or breakfast at Denny’s.”  Joey giggled at the memory.  “I think Pacey had the entire Denny’s Flintstones collection.”

 “So was he able to spin the plates?”

 “Not at first, but it wasn’t from lack of effort.  Pacey’s not the sort to give up.  He kept trying and failing and I teased him mercilessly the entire time.  Dawson captured it all on videotape.”

 “Does your friend still have the tape?  It’d be funny to watch it now.”

 “I’m not sure.  I’ll have to ask him.  Dawson’s supposed to be at Jen’s later.”  Joey stopped walking and motioned to a nearby park bench.  “Let’s sit for a minute.”  She checked her watch.  “We’ve got time before the next performance.”  Tentatively, Brian put his arm around Joey’s shoulder.  He waited for her reaction, but she simply folded her hands on her lap and continued her story.  “About a month later, Pacey told me at lunch to come by his house after school.  When I got there, he said he’d learned to spin three plates at once and wanted to show me.”  Joey leaned in against Brian, but kept her gaze focused on her fidgeting hands.  “I bet him he couldn’t and he took me on.  We agreed that if he lost, he’d carry my books back and forth to school for a whole week.  If he won, I’d have to kiss him.”

 “Ah, no wonder he invested so much time into this project.  He was working for the big payoff,” Brian commented with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

 Joey simply rolled her eyes in response.  “Of course Pacey succeeded in spinning the three plates.  I tried to get away with giving him a peck on the cheek, but Pacey insisted that the wager called for mouth-to-mouth contact.  I got scared and almost started to cry.  When Pacey saw how upset I was, he called off the bet.  Told me he was happy just to prove to me that he could do what he set out to do.  I really appreciated the respect he showed for my feelings.  I’m not sure he ever realized how very grateful I was.  I never said thank you to him.”  She tilted her head and looked at Brian for the first time since they’d sat down.  “Funny thing was that as soon as I knew I didn’t have to kiss Pacey, I wasn’t afraid to anymore.  I started to leave, but impulsively I turned back, walked right up to him, kissed him on the lips, and then ran all the way home.  We never talked about it, but I think our perceptions of one another changed forever that day.”

 Brian placed his free hand over Joey’s and studied her intently.  “You look like you’d like to be kissed right now,” he whispered, “but not by me.”

 Joey swallowed hard.  “You’re awfully insightful.  Pacey’s the boy I had the messy break-up with last spring.  We’re trying to be friends, but it’s difficult.  I’m not quite over him yet, “ she confessed.

 “Is that the reason for the wall you’ve built around yourself?”

 Nodding, Joey muttered, “My life’s a mess and I see no need to involve anyone else in it.”  She stood up, extending her hand to Brian.  “Look, I promised myself I would not succumb to misery and ruin this night.  So enough of my sob story, let’s go on to our next stop.”

 Brian rose, keeping Joey’s hand in his.  “Whatever you want, Joey.  Just remember, I’m not the kind of guy who’s afraid to get dirty so your messy life doesn’t put me off a bit.”

 “I guess Jen was right when she called you a sweetheart,” Joey remarked affectionately.

 “I could tell right away that Jen had good taste.”

 “She also said you were a hottie,” she added with an arch of her eyebrows.

 Brian felt the redness creeping up his neck into his face.  “Do girls really use that word?”

 Laughing, Joey replied, “Brian, when girls talk about guys you have no idea what words they really use.”

 “Tonight is turning out better than I hoped for, “ Joey thought as she sat next to Brian on the concrete retaining wall that surrounded the garden adjacent to the site where the West Indies Steel Band was playing.  Neither one was much of a dancer so they were content to breathe in the island rhythms, heads bopping, feet tapping to the infectious beat.  “I have a distinct craving for a Piña Colada,” Joey whispered conspiratorially.  “I bet Jen can slip us one on the side when we get back to Grams’s.”

 “Or we can stop at a diner on the way back and order one of those non-alcoholic ones my little cousins insist on getting when our families go out to eat together.”

 “Do I strike you as the type of girl who can only handle a Shirley Temple?” Joey inquired flirtatiously.

 “No.  You strike me as the type of girl who can handle whatever she’s dealt.”  Brian smiled.  You seem happier than before.  Are you having a good time?”

 “Very good.  Excellent really.  I think you’re a positive influence on me.”  Joey shivered and instinctively Brian wrapped his arms around her.  “That feels good,” she purred.  “I guess we’re getting cold sitting here not moving.”

 “I’ll dance if you want, Joey.”

 “That’s all right.  Let’s walk around and look at all the other people dancing.”

 “Sure.  Maybe we’ll feel less rhythmically challenged and be inspired to join them.”

 “I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Joey countered wryly.

 They strolled hand in hand around the perimeter of the spacious area allotted for dancing, stopping occasionally to watch those dancers who commanded their attention.  As they approached the corner directly opposite the part of the wall where they had been sitting, a willowy redhead caught Joey’s eye.  The woman was laughing and her green eyes sparkled with delight.  Her partner’s back was to Joey whose view of him was additionally obscured by a Haitian grandmother wearing an island headdress.  Joey was captivated by the radiance in the laughing woman’s face as her dance mate twirled and dipped her in cheerful discordance to the music.  Brian followed Joey’s sightline to determine what had captured her interest.  “They’re in their own little world,” he remarked.

 “I suppose,” Joey said distractedly as she continued to stare.  The man began to cover the woman’s neck with kisses and Joey watched in fascination as the beauty’s expression changed from playful to desirous.  The couple had stopped dancing and the man took the redhead’s face in his hands, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs before leaning down to kiss her.  Joey felt a dull ache in the pit of her stomach as the wave of recognition swept over her.  The woman broke contact first, breathed a few words in her partner’s ear, then slowly led him from the dance floor.  At that moment, all uncertainty dissipated as Joey gained a clear view of the man.  It was Pacey.  She’d been gazing at Pacey romancing Amy.

 The look of nausea that passed across Joey’s face did not escape Brian.  “Joey, what’s wrong?  Do you feel sick?” he asked worriedly.

 “I think I need to sit.”  Her voice was flat and the color had drained from her cheeks.

 Brian walked her over to the retaining wall and eased her down.  “Do you want some water?”  Joey shook her head.  She bit her lower lip, squeezed her lids shut, and took in a gulp of air.  She lifted her eyes towards Brian’s and opened her mouth to speak, but was overcome by tears.  Unsure of what he should do, Brian rubbed Joey’s back and tried to comfort her.  “Please talk to me, Joey.  I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

 “Oh, God,” she managed through her sobs, “I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.  I promised myself I wouldn’t ruin this night.  I’m so sorry, Brian.  It just hurts so bad.”

 “What hurts?  Your stomach?  Do you think it was the seafood you ate?”

 “No, no, I’m not sick.  I’m heartbroken.”  She reached into her purse for a tissue and wiped her nose.  “The couple I was watching on the dance floor…I didn’t realize it at first, but it was Pacey and his new girlfriend.  I lost it when I saw him kissing her.  I thought I was prepared, but I guess there’s no way to prepare for that.”

 “You’re still in love with him?” Brian asked softly.

 “I am.  I made so many mistakes with Pacey and I have so many regrets.  There’s so much I would do differently, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance.”  Joey had calmed down and regained her self-control.  “Brian, I really don’t want this night to be about my problems.  I apologize for my meltdown.  If you still want my company, perhaps we should head over to Jen’s now.”

 “There’s no need to apologize for having a broken heart, Joey.  And yes, I still want your company.  I told you I’m not afraid of messes,” he said kindly.

 “Well, good, because I think that Pacey and Amy-that’s his girlfriend’s name-are going to be at Jen’s, too.”

 “Do you want to torture yourself?  Why go if it hurts so much to see him with this woman?”

 “It hurts just knowing he’s with someone else, but it hurts more not seeing him at all.  I’m past the shock now.  I’ll be okay.”

 “All right.  If that’s what you want to do, let’s go.”

 “Thank you, Brian,” Joey said sincerely as she wrapped her arms around him in a grateful hug.  “Thank you.”

 “Did I ever tell you that the taste of peppermint on a woman’s tongue drives me crazy?” Pacey asked huskily as he parted lips with Amy.  “May I?” he inquired with a nod towards her last bit of candy cane.  Pacey stuck out his tongue and Amy placed the sweet upon it.

 “Did I ever tell you that your tongue drives me crazy?” she questioned in return.  Amy slipped her right hand beneath Pacey’s jeans at the small of his back and began to finger the waistband of his boxer briefs.  She used her left hand to bring his head towards her so they could resume their fevered kissing.  Their bodies were pressed against one another, melding despite the layers of clothing they wore.  Pacey’s hands wandered about Amy-caressing her face, stroking her back, brushing her hair, smoothing her bottom.  She responded by intensifying her kisses.

 “You’re looking for trouble when you kiss me like that,” Pacey growled as once again he broke off their tempestuous tongue tango.  “Let’s save it for later.  I don’t think the First Night Committee would appreciate me having my way with you in the middle of Boston Common.”

 “You want to skip the rest of the festivities and head over to my apartment?  My roommate’s up in Vermont for the holiday so we’d be on our own.”  She reached for Pacey’s hand and brought it to her lips.  With a devilish grin, she took his index finger in her mouth and slowly rolled her tongue over it.  Pacey moaned softly.  Amy increased the pressure and began rhythmically sucking his finger, staring at Pacey with eyes full of desire.

 Pacey pulled his hand away and sweetly kissed the lovely redhead.  “As much as it pains me to say this,“ he explained, “we can’t.  I promised Jen we would stop by.  A bunch of my friends from Capeside will be at her house and I want to see them.  You’ve only met Jen.  You’ll like the others, too.  Leaning closer, he nibbled her ear and murmured, “After we’ve made our appearance there and have officially rung in the New Year, I’m all yours to do what you will.”

 “Even if it involves chocolate syrup and whipped cream?” she inquired with mock innocence.

 Pacey enveloped Amy in his arms and kissed the top of her head.  “Ah, my little pervert, you are absolutely incorrigible.  And I think that’s what I like best about you,” he added fondly.  “Now let’s get going before you taunt me further with your dessert fantasies.”

 “Of course, Mr. Witter,” Amy replied with a twinkle in her eyes.  “Your wish is my command.”

 “Hey, look at you all tanned in the middle of winter,” Joey effused as she hugged Dawson.  “You’ve got that Hollywood air about you already.  I can’t believe your parents decided to spend Lily’s first Christmas in L.A.  I’m so glad you came home for the New Year.  How have you been?”

 “I’m doing well, Joey.  Slowly adjusting to the West Coast way of life and the demands of college.  How about you?”

 “Well, Worthington’s been tough, but I’m keeping my head above water.  I’ve even managed to get a job waitressing at a pizza place just off campus.”

 “Can’t escape the food service industry, can you Joey?” Dawson kidded.  He nodded towards Brian who had been quietly observing the conversation.  “I see you’ve made some new friends.”

 “Oh, how rude of me!” Joey gasped as she linked arms with her companion.  “Dawson, this is Brian Winslow, a classmate of mine at Worthington…and a good friend,” she added with a knowing look directed at her new confidant.  “Brian, this is Dawson Leery who’s been my friend for as long as I can remember.”

 The two young men shook hands and exchanged greetings as they sized up one another.  Joey continued talking to try to ease any awkwardness.  “Brian was in my Art History class last semester and we’re taking World Religions together in the spring.  Have you had the chance to take any liberal arts courses, Dawson, or have you had all film-related classes so far?”

 Given the opportunity to talk about himself, Dawson was more than happy to oblige.  Joey and Brian listened politely as he recounted his first months at USC.  After several minutes, Joey noticed that Pacey and Amy had arrived and were mingling with guests in the adjoining room.  “I’m so glad things are working out for you,” she interjected.  “Please excuse us.  There’s someone else I’d like Brian to meet.”

 Dawson glanced in the direction in which Joey had been looking and immediately saw his old friend.  “Of course,” he muttered, “I see Pacey’s here.  I’ll catch up with you later so you can tell me more about Worthington.  Nice to meet you, Brian,“ he acknowledged as he walked towards the punch bowl to refill his drink.

 Determined to remain strong, Joey squeezed Brian’s hand and led him towards her ex-boyfriend.  Pacey was deep in an animated conversation with Amy, Jack, and Tobey and didn’t notice Joey approaching.  She tapped Pacey on the shoulder in greeting.  “Hey, stranger.  Happy New Year.”

 Pacey turned around with a million dollar smile spread across his face.  “Hey, Potter.  Happy New Year yourself.”

 Joey caught Pacey’s eyes wandering towards Brian so she proceeded to introduce the two.  “Nice to meet you, Brian,” Pacey said extending his hand.  “I need to make some introductions, too.”  He put his arm around Amy and led her forward.  “Joey, Brian, this is Amy McLean, my friend from the harbormaster’s office.  Amy, this is Joey Potter, my friend…my cherished friend from Capeside.”  He stopped to look at Joey, trying to read her expression.

 Sensing the discomfort, Amy broke in with a smile.  “Joey, it’s a pleasure to meet you and your friend Brian.  I’ve heard so much about Capeside.  How do you like living in Boston?”

 Silently acknowledging Amy’s graciousness, Joey answered politely.  “Boston’s a wonderful city.  I’m constantly amazed at all there is to see and do.  Are you a native Bostonian?”

 “We moved from Maine when I was a toddler so Boston’s the only home I remember.”

 “My family’s from Maine, too,” Brian remarked.  “I was born in Bar Harbor.  What part of Maine are you from?”

 “Auburn.  It’s about 45 minutes north of Portland.”

 “Near Lewiston, right?”  Amy nodded.  “I have relatives in Lewiston.”
 As Brian and Amy continued to chat about their birth state, Joey gently led Pacey into the sunroom.  “I haven’t seen you since before finals.  It’s been weird.”

 “Like the summer?” Pacey wondered.

 Joey frowned.  “Well, at least this time I knew where you were, but yeah, it made me think of last summer.’  She reached into her bag and pulled out a small package.  “I haven’t even given you your Christmas present.  I guess it’ll be a New Year’s present now.”  She placed a soft kiss on his cheek as she handed him the gift.  “Happy New Year, Pace.”

 Pacey tore the Santa wrapping paper off and grinned.  “Elvis:  The Top Ten Hits…it’s perfect.”

 “I felt really guilty about the pain and suffering I’d be putting your landlord through knowing you’ll be belting out every song along with the King, but I couldn’t resist,” she teased.

 “Ah, Potter, you know me so well.  Don’t think I forgot about you,” he added, “because I didn’t.  I have something for you, but it’s at home.  I didn’t think to bring it here.”

 “You can give it to me when I get back to school.”

 “When will that be?”

 “Classes start January 22^nd.  I’ll probably go back to my dorm on Sunday the 20^th.”

 “That long, huh?”

 “Yeah, it’s a nice break, but that means three more weeks without our weekly get-together.  I don’t know how you feel, but I’m going through withdrawal,” she offered, trying her best not to sound desperate.  To her relief, Pacey nodded knowingly.

 “Amy wanted to go from First Night straight back to her place, but I told her we had to stop here.  I needed my Joey fix,” he admitted.

 “You told her that?” Joey asked wide-eyed.

 Pacey laughed.  “No, silly, I told her Jen and the gang were expecting us.  Which they were.”

 “I wanted to hate her, but I don’t.”  Joey’s voice was tiny and she avoided Pacey’s eyes.  “Amy seems very nice.  I think she’s good for you.”

 “How can you tell?  You’ve only just met her.”

 “I saw you together at First Night dancing to the steel drum band.  I didn’t even notice you at first,” she confessed.  “It was Amy who caught my attention.  She was so full of life…she looked so happy.”

 “She’s a happy person, Jo.”

 “She should be, she’s with you.”  At that moment Brian and Amy stepped into the sunroom.  “Grams asked us all to come into the great room,” Amy explained.  “It’s almost midnight and she’d like to propose a toast.”

 Pacey put his arm around Amy’s shoulder and they headed towards the rest of the guests.  “You can always count on Grams to maintain a sense of tradition.  You guys coming?” he called to the other couple.

 Taking Joey’s hand in his, Brian responded.  “We’re right behind you.”

 About thirty people were gathered before the fireplace.  Friends of Grams from her old church in Capeside and from the seniors’ club she had joined in Boston mingled with friends of Jen’s and Jack’s from Capeside and Boston.  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Grams announced in her dignified tone, “I want us all to join together in a toast to celebrate the end of the old year and the beginning of the new.  2001 has been a year of great change for my granddaughter and me, as well as for many of the young people here with us tonight.  As we get caught up in the excitement of our new lives, let us not forget the people and places from whence we came.  Many years ago, in fact more years ago than I care to acknowledge,” she chuckled, “I learned a little Girl Scout poem.  ‘Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.’  With that sentiment in mind, I ask you to raise your glasses in a toast to life, love, and friendship.  May our old friends always have a place in our hearts and may our new friendships be strong enough to one day become golden.”

 Grams lifted her glass and the others followed as the gentle clinking of crystal and a chorus of cheers floated through the room.  Within minutes, the chimes of the grandfather clock began to sound.

 Pacey hugged Amy tight.  “I’m not sure you know how thankful I am to have you in my life.  You’ve made me smile again,” he said breaking into a huge grin.  “Happy New Year, Amy,” he whispered as he leaned forward to kiss her.

 “Happy New Year to you,” she replied as her lips melted into his.

 Shyly, Brian asked, “Joey, may I kiss you?”

 “No, but I may kiss you,” was her playful response.  They kissed gently, and Joey closed her eyes, savoring the sweetness of the moment.  As she fell into Brian’s embrace, she rested her head on his shoulder, opened her eyes, and spotted Pacey looking at her.

 His arms were holding Amy, but Joey was all he could see.

 Hand in hand, Pacey and Amy slowly climbed the stairs to her second floor apartment.  Amy found her keys and proceeded to unlock the door.  As she turned the knob, Pacey reached out to stop her with his left hand while his right hand lifted her chin.  Tenderly, he kissed her.

 “What’s that for, Pacey?” she wondered.

 “Just for being you.”

 She pushed open the door and led him inside.  As Pacey closed the door behind him, Amy pivoted and pinned him against it.  Hungrily, she began to kiss him, her body crushed into his.  One hand ruffled his thick brown hair, the other grabbed his firm bottom.  Pacey wrapped Amy in his arms and his strong hands began to roam her body, touching, pinching, exploring.  She bit his lip and he acknowledged her fervor by deepening his kisses.  Without a word, they stumbled into the living room and collapsed onto the rug where they quickly helped each other shed their layers of clothing.  They lay side by side, Pacey’s tongue delving into Amy’s wetness and Amy taking Pacey’s hardness into her mouth.  They probed and pleased one another until their passions peaked.  Amy came first with waves of pleasure washing over her body.  Satiated, she intensified her attentions to Pacey and her rhythmic licking and sucking soon caused him to lose control.  When he was spent, Amy shifted herself around and let her lips find Pacey’s once more.  Now their kisses were slow and sensitive as they tasted each other on their tongues.

 “Pacey,” Amy whispered as she stared into his eyes, “I love you, Pacey.  I love you.”

 He cradled her head in his hands and rained gentle kisses across her brow.  “Amy,” he sighed, “my sweet, beautiful Amy.  How could you love me?”

 Her eyes filled with tears and she choked on her words.  “Oh, Pacey, how could I not love you?”  She buried her face in his chest and began to sob.  “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but I couldn’t help myself.  When you kiss me and say things to me like you did before when I was unlocking the apartment door, I start to imagine that maybe you do love me, that maybe I’m the one… but in my heart I know it’s not true.”  She paused for a moment before continuing, her voice barely audible.  “I know you still love Joey.”

 Pacey grabbed a throw from the sofa and covered their bare bodies with it.  He stroked Amy’s hair as he struggled with his feelings.  “You’ve given me so much, Amy, and you’ve made me so happy.  I wish I could hold you and look into your eyes and tell you that I love you with all my heart.  But I can’t.  I can’t and that’s not fair to you.”  He rested his cheek against hers.  “You deserve to be loved, Amy.  You deserve to be loved by a man who will make you the most important person in his life.  And you’re right.  I can’t do that.  No matter how much I might try to move on, there’s always Joey.”

 “Sometimes I think I don’t even care.  I’ll just accept the part of your heart that’s free,” Amy sadly confessed.

 “There is nothing more embittering than loving someone with your whole heart and soul when a piece of their heart belongs to someone else.  Believe me, I know.”

 “So what do we do now?”

 “I don’t have the answer, Amy, and whatever it is, we won’t discover it tonight.  Let’s just get some rest.  It’s been a very long day.”  Pacey reached for his shirt and shorts as he started to sit up.

 “Wait, Pacey, don’t.”  Amy put her hand out and stilled him.  He looked at her quizzically.  “I don’t want to get up and move into the bedroom.  Can we just stay here tonight…please?”

 “Of course,” he replied bringing Amy to him.  She leaned her head against Pacey’s chest.  They lay in silence, each lost in thought, until the soothing sounds of their heartbeats mixed with the rise and fall of their breathing finally lulled them to sleep.

 “Who could that be?” Joey wondered aloud as she reached across Alexander to answer the phone.  “Good morning.  Potter B & B.”

 “Hey.  Good morning yourself, Potter.”

 “Pacey.  What are you doing up at 7:30 on a Sunday morning?  Or haven’t you gone to bed yet from Saturday night?”

 “Au contraire.  A life at sea breeds good habits.  I was asleep by 11:00 last night.  I’ve been up since 6:00, cleaning my apartment no less.  What about you?”

 “Heh.  I’m sequestered with Alexander in Bessie and Bodie’s bedroom watching Aladdin on video while they do the Sunday breakfast dog and pony show for the guests.”

 “Sounds rough,” he noted sarcastically.

 “Hey, I let him choose.  You know if it were up to me, we’d be watching Beauty and the Beast.”

 “For the 178^th time.”

 “Yeah, something like that.  So seriously, Pace, why’d you call?  And on the business line, too.  Do you want to rent a room?”
 
 “I tried your old number, but it was disconnected.  I didn’t know Bessie’s private number so I called on the B & B line.”

 “Sorry.  Bessie had my phone turned off when I went to school.  The money she’s saving helps pay for my cell phone.  You can always just use that number,” Joey explained.  “So, let’s get back to why you called so bright and early on a Sunday morning.”

 “I phoned early to be sure to catch you.  Do you have any plans today?”

 “No, not really.  Once I’m finished watching Alex, I’m free.  Why do you want to know?”

 “Well, I’m free, too, and I thought, if it was okay with you, I could take a ride down to Capeside and give you your Christmas present.  This way you don’t have to wait two more weeks till you come back to school.  And who knows how soon we’ll be able to get together even then, what with you starting all new classes and the winter weather and…”

 “I miss you, too, Pacey.”

 “Am I that obvious?” he asked quietly.

 “Nah, it’s just that I know you so well.”

 “Is it okay if I come down?”

 “Yes, I’d like that very much.  Can you spend the day or do you have things to do later on?”

 “I can stay for awhile, just as long as I get back to Boston tonight.”

 “I guess Amy’s not around,” Joey ventured.

 There were a few beats of silence before Pacey responded.  “Yeah, Joey, something like that.  How about Brian?  You keeping in touch with him?”  The casualness in his voice was forced.

 “Brian’s home in Connecticut.  We’ve talked a few times on the phone and we IM a lot, but I won’t see him till I’m back at school.”

 “Oh.  Okay, well then let me get going.  I should be on the road by 9:00 so I’ll get to Capeside around 11:00.  Does that work for you?”

 “They stop serving breakfast at 11:00 so you can help us clean up and then we’re good to go.”

 Pacey chuckled.  “Will the bonds of indentured servitude ever be broken?”

 “In a word, Pacey, no.  You’re the Potter B & B’s jack-of-all-trades for life.”  She looked at Alex who had been tugging on her blouse for the past five minutes.  “I need to go now.  Alexander is getting impatient.  I’ll see you around 11:00.”

 “Absolutely, Jo.”

 “Oh, and Pacey, one last thing.  Don’t forget my present.”

 “You wound me,” Pacey replied with mock indignity.  “I would never forget.  Besides, “ he smiled, “it’s already in the car.”

 “This is a pretty big box, but it’s so light.  I want to guess what it is, but I’m stumped,” commented Joey as she peeled the wrapping from Pacey’s gift.  She opened the box, folding back the tissue paper to reveal a teddy bear coed dressed in the colors of Worthington.  She wore a backpack filled with miniature books, notebooks, pens, and pencils and carried a school pennant.  Joey’s face lit up when she saw the bear.  “Oh, Pace, she’s so adorable!  Where’d you get her?”

 “A lady was selling custom teddy bears at a crafts show down by the harbor.  I thought you’d like a Worthington bear.  It’ll look cute in your dorm.”

 “Wait till Pam sees it!  She’s gonna go crazy.  It’s the perfect present.”

 Pacey lowered his eyes and said quietly, “ I’m still so proud of you for getting into Worthington and following your dreams.”

 Joey reached out and took Pacey’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.  “That means a lot to me, Pace.  Thank you.”

 They held hands wordlessly for a few moments, connected despite the silence.  Finally, Joey spoke.  “Do you still keep your skates in the car?”

 “Yeah, in the trunk with my hockey stuff.  Why?”

 “”I feel like doing something fun.  Wanna take a ride up to Barnstable Village?  We could go ice skating and then walk around town and get something to eat.  They still have all their decorations up, I think.  It should be pretty.”

 “That’s west on Route 6?”

 “Correct, heading towards the mainland.”

 “That should be fun, Jo.  Let’s go.”

 “First, I need to check with Bessie to be sure she doesn’t need me for anything else.  Then I want to put on some warmer clothes.  Are you okay with what you’re wearing or do you need to borrow something from Bodie?”

 “Jeans and a sweater work for me and I’ve got my gloves in the pocket of my jacket.  I’m good.”

 “Okay then, please get my skates from the mud room and I’ll be back in a few.”

 “Will do,” Pacey replied as he watched her walk away.

 “I always thought you should be one of those girls who fought to get on the boys’ hockey team.  You’re a damn good skater, Potter,” Pacey admitted a bit breathlessly after he’d finished racing Joey twice around the rink.

 “Of course.  I spent my formative years chasing after you-Pacey Witter, Capeside’s answer to The Mighty Ducks.”

 “Well, I like to keep you challenged,” he noted with a laugh.  “You ready to go eat, Jo?”

 “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry.  What time is it?”

 Pacey checked his watch.  “Almost 2:30.”

 “Let’s head for town then.  I’ll race you again.  Last one to the car’s a rotten egg!”

 After driving the short distance to the center of town, they parked and began walking in search of a place to eat.  They chose a family friendly restaurant that specialized in Cape Cod cooking, hoping that the bratty kid quotient wouldn’t be too high despite the fact that it was a Sunday afternoon.

 “I think we’re in luck,” Joey remarked after they’d placed their order with the server.  “I’ve heard no wailing so far and we weren’t tripped by rugrats on the way in.”

 “It’s been a very good day all around.”

 “Yes, it has been, Pace.”  Joey’s demeanor grew solemn.  “You know what I like best about being with you?  What I’ve always liked best?”  Pacey shook his head and Joey continued.  “I can be so free with you.  We laugh and tease, we do fun things, even act like kids sometimes, but I never feel like a kid.  I always know that you respect me, that you value me and don’t look down at me.  I know when you see me, you’re not still looking at little Joey Potter from the wrong side of the creek.”

 “No, I am not.  I look at you and I see Jo, a beautiful, loving woman who can be and who can do anything she wants.”

 Joey felt a flush steal into her face.  She looked at her fidgeting hands and mumbled, “Not quite anything I want.”  After an awkward pause, she summoned the courage to ask the question that had been on her mind all day.  “So how’s it going with Amy?  You two seemed like quite the matched pair on New Year’s.”

“Appearances can be deceiving.”

 “Huh?”  Confusion was etched across Joey’s brow.

 “We’re not dating any more.  It’s over.”

 “When did this happen, Pacey?”

 “A couple of days ago.  Right after New Year’s.”

 Joey’s tone grew confessional.  “It was hard for me to see you with someone else, but I’ve been trying really hard to accept it because you looked so happy.  Weren’t you happy with Amy?”

 “Yes, I was happy with Amy, but things are more complicated than that,” Pacey explained evenly.

 “In what way?”

 “I guess you could just say we were headed in different directions.  Breaking up seemed like the best thing to do.”

 “I’m sorry, Pace,” Joey said sincerely.  “I truly am.”

 “I’m okay, Jo.  Don’t worry about me.”

 “I can’t help it.  I do worry about you.  I’m still concerned that no one else is worrying about you,” she noted sadly.

 “Thanks, Potter.  It’s good to know you still care.  What about you?  Are you going out with this Brian guy?”

 No, Pacey, he’s my friend, not my boyfriend.

 “But he’d like to be your boyfriend, right?”

 Joey rolled her eyes.  “Yes, he would, but I don’t see that happening.  He’s a sweetheart and he was a great support on New Year’s, but I don’t feel like I’m ready to start a relationship with someone new.”

 “You can’t be afraid to jump in again.”

 “All nudging from Bessie and you aside, I’m not afraid.  I’m just not ready.  Those are two different things.”

 “Fair enough.”

 Just then, the waitress arrived with their meals.  The food was plentiful and delicious and they ate until they were stuffed.  After splitting the bill, they headed for the car.

 “Would you mind driving back to Capeside?” Pacey inquired.  “I’ve still got the drive back to Boston ahead of me and I am definitely feeling a touch of that post pig-out drowsiness.  I could use a rest.”

 “Hey, if you trust me with your car…”

 “It’s only a car, Jo.  I’ve trusted you with far more.”  He tossed her the keys.  “I won’t fall asleep on you.”

 “You’d better not.  I am not spending 45 minutes in the car listening to you snore.”

 “I do not snore, Josephine.”

 “I should have made a tape.”

 “But you didn’t ‘cause there was nothing to tape.”

 “What.  Ever.  Get into the vehicle, Witter, before I take off without you.”

 The sun was fading as they approached the road leading into Capeside and patches of bright pink colored the blue-gray horizon.  Pacey turned to Joey with a soft smile on his lips.  “Red sky at night…”

 “Sailor’s delight,” she replied with a knowing look.  “I haven’t forgotten all your seafaring lore.”

 “I’m glad you remember.”

 Joey looked out at the patch of grass that lay just ahead of them between the road and the water and started to cry.  “I think of it every time I drive by.  I never pass this spot without remembering what it felt like.”

 “You kissed me back, Jo.  You’ve never quite admitted it, but you kissed me back.”

 Joey began to sob and she pulled off the road.  “I’m sorry.  I can’t even see.”  She wiped her eyes on her jacket sleeve and looked at Pacey.  “You’re right, Pace.  I did kiss you back,” she admitted through her tears.  “I had dreamed about you kissing me for weeks, but when you finally did I let my fear and guilt and childhood fixations get in the way.  Like I always do.  I let them get between us then and they never really went away.  Maybe we forgot about them on True Love, but they were always there.”

 “C’mere, Jo,” he coaxed, putting his arm around Joey and drawing her closer.  “Please don’t cry, especially on my account.  We both made mistakes, but that’s in the past.  We’ve forgiven each other and we’re friends again.”

 “But I don’t want to be your friend, Pacey!” she cried in exasperation.  “It’s killing me to be your friend.  I’m still in love with you.  And I know that you’ve moved on and even though things didn’t work out with Amy, I know someday there’ll be someone else and I know it won’t be me and…”

 “Jo, stop.”  He caressed her face, gently brushing her tears aside with the pads of his thumbs.  “Listen to me.”  He waited for her to stop crying before he went on.  “I didn’t tell you the whole story back at the restaurant about why I’m not seeing Amy any more.  When we went back to her apartment on New Year’s Eve, she told me that she loved me.  She knew I didn’t feel the same way, but she was willing to wait for me to come around.  I told her I couldn’t do that to her, that I cared about her too much to put her in that position.”

 “What position?  Waiting to see if you’d fall in love with her?”

 “No.  Waiting to see if I’d fall out of love with you.”

 “Oh, Pace,” Joey sighed as her tears began to fall anew.

 “I knew how it felt loving you all that time with the shadow of Dawson looming over us.  I couldn’t do that to Amy.  I wouldn’t do that to her.”

 Joey flung the car door open and ran onto the grass.  Pacey followed, calling her name.  “You said you’ve forgiven me, Pacey, but you haven’t really.  You still resent me for letting Dawson get between us.”

 “I don’t resent you, Jo.  I’m simply afraid.  I can’t go through this again.  I can’t give myself to you and find that Dawson still owns a piece of your heart.”

“What more can I say to you?  I told you when you came back in September that I had spent the summer ruing my stupidity.  That when you both were gone, I had missed Dawson, but that I had yearned for you.”

 “Jo, you’ve always succeeded at telling me how much you love me, it’s your actions that have failed me.”

 “You’re right, Pacey,” she said as she stepped towards him, “I’m tired of talking.  I love you.  I love you with every piece of my heart and I don’t know any other way to show you but this.”  Throwing her arms around his shoulders, Joey pulled Pacey to her and began to kiss him with all her bottled up passion.  Without hesitation, Pacey kissed her back.

 “Jo, Jo,” Pacey murmured through their kisses, “I love you.  I love you so much.”  The touch of the lips that each had craved for so long made them wild.  Pacey took Joey’s head in his hands as their bodies clung together and their tongues pursued their fiery reunion.

 Joey separated from Pacey’s lips for a moment.  “You’re not afraid anymore, Pace, are you?”

 “No, I’m not,” he answered as he started covering her face and neck with fluttery kisses.

 Lost once more in their embrace, the lovers remained at the water’s edge casting a tender silhouette against the evening sky.