Missing Scene Post "A Winter's Night" (#414)

I feel something warm and firm between my legs.  Sleepily I reach down and give Pacey's knee a lazy tickle as it rests intertwined with mine.  Behind me he gives a groggy laugh and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into him.

"Morning." he whispers, his voice still thick with sleep.

"Morning." I respond my voice much less sleepy since I've already been up for awhile contemplating the recent loss of my virginity - reliving every kiss, every touch - every…detail.  "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmmmm," he nuzzles my hair, "I had the most incredible dream that this amazingly gorgeous woman seduced me."

"Heather Graham fantasies again?"

"Heather who?" he sputters as he rises on his elbow to peer over my shoulder at me.  "Nah - this girl was much more beautiful."

"More beautiful than Heather Graham?" I tease as I pull his hand from my waist and take it in mine.

"Definitely.  Sexier too."

"Really?" I rest our hands on my hip and play with his fingers.  This is how we used to wake up on the boat every morning - well except for the post-coital, naked, in bed together part.  Our hands would meet between the hammocks and we would just hold hands - touching one another and exploring the sensation of waking up together - letting each other know we were there.

"Oh yeah.  This girl - this woman - she's the most beautiful, sexiest, smartest, most desirable woman alive."

"Sounds like you're still dreaming."

"Then I don't ever want to wake up," he whispers into my ear.  The sound of his voice makes me shiver.  It is soft and quiet but commanding and so full of hunger.  I can't help but respond to it as I stretch my body along the length of his.  He groans as his hand tightens in mine.

"Potter?"

"Yeah?" I whisper breathlessly.

"C 'mere" he growls as he moves quickly to turn me over so we are facing one another.  He is grinning wickedly, and I start to laugh as he tries to kiss me.  "What the…?  Why are you laughing?"

I smooth my hand over his cheek and tug at his ear, "awwww - you just look like - like the cat that ate the canary!"

He raises an eyebrow at me and teases "Well, I've never heard it called 'canary', but if that's what you want to say…"

I shriek and try to hide the fact that I'm blushing by burying my face in his chest.  He wraps his arms tightly around me, and I feel him shaking as he chortles at my embarassment.

"Ohhhh, Jo - hey…" he pulls back a bit and tilts my head up to look at him.  His smile makes me weak - it is cocky and satisfied and incredibly adoring.  "You ok?" he asks earnestly.

I nod my head.  I'm not really embarassed about anything that's happened.  I'm just not yet used to it happening to me.

"That's my girl." he says once he's assured I really am alright.  I adjust my position so we can be face to face on the pillows.

"Pace?"

"Mmmm?"

"So what do we do now…you know…'the morning after'?"

"Ah, well, we do it again." he tells me as he brushes my hair back off my shoulder.

"Oh.  And then after that?"

"We do it some more," he's not even trying to keep a straight face as I attempt to appear naive.

"Soooo…from now on out its just sex?  No cuddling, no hand holding, no tickling - just sex?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Wow," I muse "I didn't realize what I'd started."

"I don't make the rules, Jo.  I just follow them." he says shrugging his shoulders.

He has a look in his eyes that is so full of love that I know instantly with every part of my being that I made the right decision last night.  I love and trust him completely.  Last night just proved to me that every obstacle we overcame to be together was worth it.  I wouldn't trade this moment in his arms - in the bed we shared - for anything in the world.

"What is it?" he asks me softly.

"I love you."

He kisses me, and we seem to just melt into one another.  I revel in the feeling of skin against skin and the security of letting myself be this vulnerable with another person for the first time in my life.  I think he may be right about not wanting to ever stop doing this.

"I love you," he breathes against my lips.  Trailing kisses from my mouth down along my neck he murmurs, "so…it wasn't that cataclysmic after all…was it?  Losing your virginity?"

"I don't know," I say as I tilt my head and arch my back in response to his kisses, "we haven't been outside yet - the world may have actually stopped while we were having sex."

He chuckles at my shoulder blade then teasingly drags his mouth down towards my breast before abruptly stopping.  Suddenly he sits up and practically jumps out of the bed,  "You know - you're right!  Let me check!" he cries as he makes like he's going to run to the window.

I don't know which one of us is more surprised by my reaction, but I bolt upright and grab hold of his arm as the sheets fall away from me: "No way! Get back here!" I shout.

He's laughing again as he turns to look at me, "Don't you want to know?" he asks innocently.

I shake my head at him, "All I want is you.  So get back here!"

He looks at me the way he did last night - with wonder and anticipation and a little bit of shock.  Leaning back down in the bed he watches me sitting next to him naked and completely unashamed.  I feel beautiful and strong and terribly happy.

And most of all I'm not afraid anymore - the Big Mystery has been exposed and now we can move on and start exploring all the rest of it together.  Crawling on top of him I begin to kiss him and feel the same yearning ache of last night seeping through my body as he touches me and his arousal presses against me.

"Looks like I've created a monster." he gasps.

"Yes, you did. And now - you realize - you're going to have to get a bigger wallet," I whisper as he moans in agreement, "and of course I'll need to get a bigger purse."  I slide down his body and start kissing his chest, "and a bigger bedside drawer," his next response gets caught in his throat as his hand tightens in my hair, "and a bigger glove compartment."  He groans deeply and thrusts up against me.

"Joey…"

"Yeah?"

"I think I saw…I think we…" I distract him from his train of thought as I kiss his stomach, "we may have missed…the…bus…"

I give him a gentle bite and whisper, "Pacey, do you really care? Because I don't."

And I really don't.  All I care about right now is him and I and catching up on all that we've been missing for the last nine months.
 

Title: "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)