Leery's Fresh Fish had just closed its doors when the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Gail called out, grabbing the phone off the counter. "Leery's Fresh Fish. We're-" Gail listened to the person on the other line. "Y-yes. Thank you for te-telling me." She lowered the cordless phone from her ear and stared at it, unable to comprehend what she had just been told.

"Who was it," Mitch Leery asked as he came out of the kitchen. He saw the look on his wife's face, walked over to her and put an arm around her. "Gail? Honey, what is it?"

Gail looked up at him with teary eyes. "It's Pacey…."

Jen Lindley looked sadly over at Joey sitting on the hospital bed next to her. They were both wrapped up in warm blankets but it was quite possible that they could catch pneumonia from being out in the storm for so long. Joey hadn't said a word since Doug had picked her up off the dock and placed her in the ambulance an hour ago except to tell the doctor her name and if she was allergic to any medication. Her eyes were lifeless and she was alarmingly pale. Jen reached over and took Joey's hand in hers, squeezing it gently. Joey's eyes focused on Jen and she squeezed it back.

Jack McPhee was watching the late night news with his father when they heard the report. Jack felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He turned his eyes towards his father who immediately got up and went over to him. Jack buried his face in his father's shoulder for a moment then straightened up. "Andie."

Andie and Dawson had just finished watching E.T. and were feeling much better after having spent the evening pigging out on junk and watching movies. Dawson turned on the news as he rewound the video. The anchor was talking about some boating accident.

"Turn that up Dawson," Andie said as she put her shoes back on.

Dawson turned up the volume to the television and turned to stone.

"This afternoon around five p.m. wreckage was discovered that appears to be from a sailboat owned by Pacey J. Witter, a sixteen-year-old from Capeside, off the stormy waters of the Georgia coast near Savannah. Apparently, a storm developed suddenly and caused the boat to capsize. Nothing more is known at this time except that no body has been recovered. We'll keep everyone updated on this story."

Andie felt her knees weaken and she would have fallen if Dawson hadn't snapped out of his trance and grabbed her. She began to cry violently, beating on Dawson's chest. "No," she sobbed over and over. "No…not Pacey."

Dawson felt his own tears sliding down his cheeks. The guy that had, up until a few months ago, been one of his best friends practically since birth was gone. It was more than Dawson's reality-deprived brain could take. Dawson heard tires screech outside and knew that it had to be his parents. Sure enough, they burst into his room a few minutes later with Jack right behind them. Andie ran to her brother while the Leery's put their arms around their son. No one said a word. The only thing that could be heard was Andie's violent sobbing.

John Witter had just got into bed next to his wife when the phone rang. He groggily answered it. "This had better be good."

"Dad."

"Doug," Mr. Witter said, immediately awake. "What is it?"

Mr. Witter's face drained its color and his wife sat up in bed.

"What's going on," she asked her husband.

"Thanks son." He hung up the phone and stared at the wall in front of him. "That was Doug," he said hollowly. "It appears that our youngest son has gotten himself killed."

Joey stared up at the white hospital ceiling. She didn't move a muscle, her hand still grasped in Jen's. Neither of them had said a word in over two hours. Joey had nothing to say. She remembered the picture that she had stuck in her jacket pocket before leaving Capeside. She took it out with her free hand and stared at it. It was the one of Pacey and she kissing with the sunset behind them. She'd intended to show it to him and let him know that she remembered everything…but now she would never get the chance. Joey's head was swimming with words that would never be said. Her heart was aching with all the love that she would never be able to share…love that she would always remember.

"Bessie."

Bessie's eyes snapped open. "Doug! What's wrong?"

"It's Pacey…."

Bessie listened as Doug filled her in, stunned. "Thank you Doug," she said, choking back tears. "Just get Joey home safe."

"I will. The PD here is going to fly Jen and Joey back in a chopper tomorrow."

"Thanks for taking care of her," Bessie said sincerely.

"Yeah."

Bessie hung up and stared out the bedroom window for a long time. Finally, she remembered that she needed to call Mrs. Ryan.

Doug hung up the phone on his end and turned back towards the emergency room. He could see Jen and Joey lying on their beds. Jen looked a little pale but that was normal. Joey, on the other hand, looked like death. Doug was extremely worried about her. Sure, they were all grieving, but he'd never seen Joey so withdrawn. EVER. It was not a good sign.

The car pulled up in front of the Potter's. Bessie got up off the front steps and went to greet the police officer that had brought Joey and Jen home. Jen got out of the car, walked around to the other side and opened the door for Joey. Bessie felt tears spring to her eyes when she saw the condition that her sister was in. Jen put an arm around Joey and helped her across the lawn and up the stairs.

"She's got a fever," the officer told Bessie. "I'd make sure she gets plenty of fluids."

"Thank you," Bessie told him, looking at Joey's pallid features. She pulled her sister into her arms and hugged her tightly. "Jo. Say something."

"She hasn't said a word in almost ten hours Bessie," Jen told her softly.

Bessie looked horrified.

"Probably just shock," the officer said gently. "We'll keep you informed if they find anything."

Bessie gave the officer a tight smile. "Thank you."

"No problem," he said, heading back to his car.

Bessie looked over at Jen. "I know it's useless to tell you to go home and get some rest." She sighed. "So, go home, change your clothes and get something to eat. Your grandmother's waiting on you."

Jen gave Bessie a grateful smile. "I'll be back."

"I'm sure you will."

Joey pulled herself out of Bessie's arms and walked into the house.

"Jo," Bessie called, she and Jen following Joey inside the house.

Joey went to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. They heard her throwing up.

Bessie flinched.

"She's been doing that since about midnight," Jen told her. "Doctor's said it's just because she's so upset."

Bessie nodded absently, her mind on the girl behind the wooden door.

Joey flushed the toilet and leaned against the sink. She studied her reflection. Was that really her? The face was pallid, the eyes were sunken in their sockets with blue circles underneath and the lips were a chalky white. Joey picked up a washcloth and ran it under the cool water. She turned off the faucet and watched as the water in the sink gurgled down the drain. Joey felt her knees give out and she sank to the bathroom tiles, her violent sobs echoing in the small room.

Jen Lindley closed the door to her house and numbly made her way to the kitchen where her grandmother was sitting at the table drinking a cup of tea.

"Jennifer," Mrs. Ryan said, getting up from the table.

Jen didn't say a word.

"Jennifer, talk to me!"

Jen walked over and buried her face in her grandmother's cardigan.

Mrs. Ryan wrapped her arms around her granddaughter and held her tightly. Jen's shoulders began shaking and Mrs. Ryan realized that she was crying. "It's alright Jennifer," she said softly, stroking Jen's hair. "It's alright."

When Jen finally calmed down, she pulled away and went over to the phone. She dialed a number from memory and waited until someone picked up. "Yes. Fieldman's Football Camp. I need to speak with Henry Parker. It's urgent."

Joey opened the bathroom door and Bessie jumped to her feet.

"Jo?"

Joey walked past her and went to the kitchen. She grabbed a glass and began pouring water into it. Bessie watched, horrified, as Joey's hand shook violently.

"Jo," she tried again.

Joey turned off the faucet and held onto the glass with both hands. She didn't even look at Bessie.

There was a pounding on the door. Joey was so surprised that she dropped the glass. It fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

"Jo. Just leave it. I'll pick it up in a sec," Bessie said gently, going to the front door. She opened it and Andie stormed inside.

"Andie-what in the world?"

Andie stomped into the kitchen and pointed her finger at Joey. "YOU-YOU BITCH!"

Joey stared at her, shocked.

"You led Pacey into that storm! You killed him!"

Bessie came up behind Andie. "Don't talk to her that way," she fumed, taking in Andie's appearance. She looked wild with her hair sticking up in all directions and her clothes rumpled.

Andie glared at Joey. "You put him through nothing but heartache and hell for the entire year and then you get him killed! WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?"

Bessie put a hand on Andie's shoulder. "Andie, you need to calm down."

Andie shook her off. "NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN," she hissed.

Bessie heard a noise behind her and turned to see Jen standing in the doorway. Her eyes were wide with shock. Jack and Mr. McPhee were right behind her.

"Andie," Jen whispered. "Are you alright?"

Andie shook her head. "No! I'm not! Nothing's right anymore." She paused and her eyes took on a far away shine. "The sheep are being counted," she told them clearly.

Joey gasped. It was the first reaction that any of them had gotten out of her. Her eyes filled with tears. "Andie-I-" she choked, trying to say something.

Andie turned back around and glared at her. "You killed him," she told Joey flatly. "You killed him just as sure as you had taken a gun and blown his brains out."

"Andie," Mr. McPhee warned. "That's enough."

"No Dad," Andie said. "It's not. I'm tired of no one listening to me when I say something."

"Andie, we always listen," Jack told her gently.

Andie scoffed. "Yeah, sure." She turned back to Joey, looking past her at something that only she could see. "Pacey's behind you," Andie said, grinning wickedly. "And he has blood running down his face. He's pointing his finger at you and he's saying what a horrible person you are."

Joey felt the tears flowing down her cheeks. "You're right," she said softly.

Everyone stared at her.

Joey looked into Andie's crazy eyes. "You're right. I am a horrible person Andie. I treated Pacey like crap and now I'm being punished for it.

"No you're not Joey," Jen said firmly.

"Andie wouldn't take her medication this morning," Jack reasoned.

Joey threw back her head. "YES I AM! I KILLED HIM! I DIDN'T STOP HIM AND NOW HE'S DEAD! IT'S MY FAULT! I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON!" Joey paused and looked down at the pieces of glass on the floor. "I deserve to be killed," she said softly.

Shocked expressions were on everyone's faces.

"Joey," Bessie said softly. "Don't say things like that."

"Why not, they're true. At least Andie can see it and admit it."

Some of the fire left Andie's eyes and she slumped visibly.

Jack cautiously approached her. "Andie?"

Andie looked up at Joey and all the venom was gone. Instead, her eyes were filled with pain and regret. "Joey…" she began.

Joey brushed past her and strode out of the room.

Jen and Bessie ran after her as Jack and Mr. McPhee went to Andie.

"Joey," Bessie pleaded. "Don't do this. Don't shut us out. Don't shut all the hurt inside."

Joey didn't answer. She went into her room and shut the door in Bessie's face.

Bessie stared, her mouth hanging open. She heard the lock turn and Bessie snapped. She began pounding on the door. "Joey! You can't shut yourself up in there! You're sick. You need someone to take care of you! You don't need to be alone right now!"

There was no answer.

Jen put a restraining hand on Bessie's arm. "Bessie…don't."

Bessie brushed past Jen and walked back to the kitchen.

Doug Witter had stayed in Savannah to help look for wreckage and Pacey's body. He was still having a hard time believing that his brother was gone. The salvage crew would begin searching tomorrow. Doug was determined to stay until he saw Pacey's body with his own two eyes. Nothing else would be able to convince him. Doug sighed as he sank onto the hotel bed. They'd told him to get some sleep because they would start early but sleep was impossible. His thoughts turned to Joey. Poor kid. He'd never seen anyone take something so hard. Then again, he'd never been lost in someone, or he might have acted the same way. Doug sent out a silent prayer that Joey would be all right and closed his eyes, trying to get a few hours sleep.

These are not rabbit holes Joey thought. These are catacombs.

Instead of falling through the events of her life, Joey was running blindly through darkness. Voices were echoing all around her of despair, loss, and heartache. Joey had locked herself in her room in order to escape the pain but instead was experiencing every crushing blow of it. She was locked up in the darkness that had become her soul, unwilling to get out. Joey tried to outrun the voices that were haunting her but they caught up anyway, echoing to her, around her, unwilling to let her be. They were all about Pacey, whose limp and lifeless body was floating somewhere in the ocean, waiting to be discovered.

"I knew you weren't gonna understand."

Joey should have opened her eyes then and realized why she had blown up so badly at Jen and Pacey for exploring their sexual drives. But she hadn't.

"Feel about Dawson?"

"No. I was-I was actually gonna say felt."

Joey covered her ears and continued running down the enormous cave, trying to outrun the words and her thoughts. Why couldn't she have just admitted that she had feelings for Pacey then? The things that he'd said to her that night, it should have clicked with Joey that Pacey had strong feelings for her…but it hadn't. She'd pulled a Dawson and refused to see what was right in front of her. Joey continued running in the darkness. Something wanted her to run, wanted her to cry, wanted her to feel anguish and she was headed right towards it.

Doug Witter awoke to a sunny sky. He quickly got dressed and left his motel room to meet the salvage crew at the docks. Today, he would begin one of the hardest journeys he would ever take. He would be searching for his younger brother's body.

Bessie Potter sat at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee. Twelve hours had passed. Joey hadn't come out all night and the only peep that Bessie had heard out of her was when she would cough.

Maybe she's sleeping…maybe she's dead…maybe she's never coming out.

Bessie looked over at Jen who had stayed with her. She had her head resting on her arm and her eyes were closed. Bessie was beyond grateful that she had someone to sit with. Otherwise, she would surely be going nuts. Alex was with Bodie until things calmed down. Doug was in Savannah trying to recover Pacey's body.

It was all still unreal to Bessie. Pacey could have been anything he wanted and Bessie knew that. He could have made Joey happy for the rest of her life. He could have done so many things. And now…the world would never know what a wonderful human being he had been. Bessie felt tears creeping down her cheeks and felt a hand close over hers. She looked over and saw Jen giving her a knowing smile. Bessie stopped trying to hide her tears and began to cry while Jen squeezed her hand.

Joey ran smack into a stone wall.

"OUCH!"

She stepped back and stood shakily on her feet. She couldn't see anything. No voices were around her and everything was still. Suddenly, a gust of frigid air blew towards her, bringing the voices along with it.

"You didn't do anything to deserve this. The drunken lout in the corner just pleads sheer frustration. I mean, honestly, do you have any idea how exhausting it is to exist on your periphery? To witness this perpetual dance that you two have-one week you're soulmates, the next week you're giving each other up for the greater good. I mean, do you think it's possible that sometime soon you could make up your mind? Please? And the reverence that you two treat this little saga of yours with is enough to make a guy wanna puke."

Joey felt her way around the wall and took off running again. She didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about him. Joey continued her trek through the darkness, unsure of where she was heading and not really caring where she ended up.

"Look, what I said last night was way out of line. And yes, I was drunk, but more to the point, I was just plain wrong. And I want you to know that I'm really sorry."

"Well, I was worried about you too Pacey."

"Me? Why?"

"I don't know. Because, I mean, Satan himself could lead Dawson into the fiery pits of hell but he would still emerge with his moral code intact. But you…maybe I think that nobody's worrying about you right now."

"So then, what you're really saying then, is that given the highly dysfunctional nature of our relationship, this is how you actually express concern for me?"

"You gotta learn to read between the banter Pacey."

Why couldn't I do that Joey thought. Pacey had been sending me messages for a long time but I didn't read between the lines. Joey continued running, trying to flee her thoughts and memories.

"You don't think there's a possibility that there's somebody out there who hates Joey just for being Joey? Who hates the way she talks, the way she dresses, the way she chews on her lower lip?"

"Look, I don't chew on my lower lip!"

Joey realized that had been another priceless slip of hidden feelings. Why couldn't she have realized it sooner…or admitted her own feelings sooner? Maybe then, she would be wrapped up in Pacey's arms right now, breathing in his smell, talking without saying a word …. Joey couldn't think about that. She'd go insane if she did. Instead, she chose to run away from the feelings and emotions that were following her in the darkness.

Dawson Leery stared up at his ceiling lost in his world of fantasy where nothing ever went wrong, the hero always got the girl and the happy ending was just around the corner.

"Dawson," Gail called, knocking on his door. "Honey. Are you alright?"

Dawson didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to stay in his dream world for a while longer. "I'm fine mom," he yelled. "Just go away!"

Gail stood in front of her son's door for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then she turned around and walked back down the stairs where Mitch was waiting on her.

"He won't come out, huh," Mitch asked, putting his arm around his wife as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"No. Mitch, I'm worried about him."

"I know you are. But Dawson will be fine. He just needs some time alone to sort things through. I think we all need that."

Gail nodded thoughtfully. "You're right." She looked out the window, towards the creek. "I wonder how Joey's doing."

Maybe you're the next best thing to happen
All the things we might have been
Joey heard something behind her and stopped cold. She turned around cautiously and was hit right in the face by something. Stunned, she bent down and searched the damp floor of the cave, trying to find what it was that had hit her. Joey's fingers closed around something and she felt of it. The object was a paintbrush. "What the hell," she muttered, trying to see in the darkness. Then the voices came back.

"So you guys just traded me off like some sort of baseball card? Is that what this is about?"

"What?"

"Us! You and me. I-I thought that…"

"Thought what?"

"I guess I thought something else Pacey."

Joey sped up, desperately trying to outrun those words as they echoed around her. She should have told him right then what was right on the tip of her tongue but still refused to be admitted. She had been crazy in love with him by then. Another conversation caught up with her and Joey felt her legs growing weaker.

"So, are you gonna thank me?"

"For what?"

"Well, for all manner of things. You know, like defending your honor, bucking the system-"

"-At windmills while in the throes of a misguided hero complex?"

"Well, yeah, that too."

"Pacey, if I was going to thank you for anything, it would be for being yourself, and, you know, for not caring about what anybody else thinks, and-and for knowing in your heart what's right and wrong, and…for being there this year...when I needed you the most."

"You're welcome."

Joey stumbled in the darkness and had to grab onto the side of the cave for support. Pacey had risked everything for her when Matt had vandalized her mural. Why hadn't she realized what had made him do it? It had been more than because she was his friend…it had been because he was in love with her. And she had reacted the way she had because she had been in love with him.

"Pacey, you're unbelievable. I mean, as soon as I think I've got you all figured out, you go and do something so outrageous that completely challenges me in a way that no one else would even think of that…in case I don't say it enough, thank you."

"It's about time, Potter. It's about time."

As Joey ran further into the swirling darkness she found her answer. She hadn't felt worthy of his devotion.

It had been almost forty-eight hours since Joey had locked herself inside her room and Bessie was about ready to chop the door down. The only thing that kept her from doing so was that she didn't want to frighten Joey. But Joey was scaring the hell out of Bessie. Joey's first soul-searching trip had been a positive one and had only lasted for a few hours…but this was different. Bessie had a feeling that Joey had locked herself in her room for a reason…and it wasn't a positive one.

Bessie had sent Jen home to get some sleep but she already missed the company. Sitting in the house, staring at the four walls and praying for her sister to come out was very tiresome and lonely. Bessie decided to knock on Joey's door again. She got up from the table and slowly walked to Joey's room. It was quiet…too quiet. "Joey?"

No answer.

"Joey? Are you alright?"

No answer.

Bessie began pounding on the door. "JOEY! PLEASE ANSWER ME!"

Joey vaguely heard Bessie's voice. It sounded so far away. She sounded so scared…. Joey turned her head back towards the way she had come and yelled as loudly as she could, which wasn't loud at all, that she was alright.

"I'm okay Bessie," came the low reply.

Bessie exhaled deeply. "Joey? Are you going to come out?"

Joey thought about this for a moment. Did she really want to come out? "No."

Bessie bit her lip. "Joey. You have to come out. You're sick. You need medicine."

Joey felt okay…just tired…and heartbroken. That was nothing that any medicine could cure. "I'm alright Bessie. Please, just leave me alone."

"Joey? Please come out and let me take care of you," Bessie pleaded.

Joey felt something pulling her further into the darkness. She wasn't through yet. "No Bessie. Leave me alone."

Bessie tried once more. "Joey, please?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE," Joey yelled, mustering all the strength that she could.

Bessie jumped back from the door, shocked. She choked back a sob and nodded. "Alright Joey. Just, please come out soon."

Bessie didn't get an answer but she hadn't expected one. Defeated, she turned around and went back to the kitchen to call Jen.

Dawson Leery was staring out his window when someone knocked at his door. "Who is it?"

"It's Andie."

Dawson got up and opened the door for her. She walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed. She looked pale.

"Andie, are you alright?"

Andie shook her head. "Dawson, I think I'm loosing it again."

Dawson stared at her. "What?"

"Pacey's d-death. I can't handle it. I'm loosing my mind."

Dawson put an arm around her shoulders. "No you're not. You're grieving…just like everyone else."

"No, Dawson. I'm a rehabilitated nut, remember?"

Dawson smiled. "Key word. 'Rehabilitated'."

Andie just looked at him. "But, what if this pushes me over the edge again…like when Abby died and I saw my dead brother?"

Dawson gave her a hug and she returned it. "If it does then we'll all be here to help pull you out."

Andie sniffled. "Everyone except Pacey. He always pulled me out before."

"I know Andie. But, he's gone."

"I know," Andie choked, feeling tears start to flow down her cheeks. "That's what makes this so hard. I mean, I've already lost it with Joey."

Dawson looked at her, shocked. "What do you mean?"

Andie hung her head. "I stomped over there and literally cursed her out and told her that she was a horrible person and that she was responsible for Pacey's death." Andie began crying harder.

Dawson was too stunned to say anything for a moment. "Andie, you didn't."

"Oh I did. Word has it that she's locked herself in her room and that she won't come out."

Dawson was incredulous. Joey was not the kind to give up. "Whoa," he said softly, his mind still trying to grasp what Andie had just told him.

Andie wiped at her eyes. "Yeah. And I-I can't help but feel that it's my fault. I never should have yelled at her like that. Especially since she probably already felt like she caused his death. I was just so upset…and I didn't take my medication. I lost it Dawson. And I'm scared that it's going to happen again and that maybe the next time I-I won't come back."

Dawson looked at her for a moment then wrapped his arms around her. Andie held onto him tightly, crying for all the heartache and regret that was in her heart. Dawson held her while his thoughts drifted to his own shortcomings. He'd said some pretty horrible things to Joey and Pacey. And he had never regretted anything as much in his life as he regretted those words at that moment.

Jen has just finished taking a shower and was sitting down at the kitchen table taking some cold medicine when someone knocked on the door.

"I'll get it," Mrs. Ryan said, getting up from her chair. "You just sit there and rest for a few minutes."

Jen nodded.

Mrs. Ryan went to the door and opened it. "Why hello! What are you doing back so soon?"

"Hey Mrs. Ryan."

Jen jumped to her feet when she heard the familiar voice. She ran through the living room to the front door and flung herself into Henry's waiting arms.

"Hey," he said softly, hugging her back. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-uh," Jen choked out. "Not even close."

Mrs. Ryan closed the front door and went back to the kitchen.

Jen pulled away from Henry and looked up at him. "Thank you for c-coming Henry. It means a lot to me."

Henry put a finger over her lips. "Don't say a word about it. You're my girlfriend. If you need me, I'm here."

Jen actually managed a small smile. "Well, well, you have changed."

"So have you," Henry said softly.

Jen nodded, as if she knew that he would say that. Then she wrapped her arms around him and began to cry.

Henry held her tightly, stroking her back, trying to do everything he could to make he feel better. "How's Joey," he asked gently.

"Horrible," was Jen's muffled reply.

"Have they found Pacey?"

Jen shook her head and held him tighter. "No. Not yet."

"HEY! OVER THERE! I THINK I SEE SOMETHING!"

Doug Witter ran to the end of the boat deck and looked out over the water with a pair of binoculars. Sure enough, there was a piece of what appeared to be a sailboat sticking to a buoy. The boat slowed and a diver jumped into the sea and swam over to it. He disentangled it and floated the piece back over to the boat. It wasn't very big. Workers on deck pulled the piece up and helped the diver back up. They set the piece on the deck and stepped back. Doug looked down at the piece of blue wood that had a piece of sail sticking to it and felt his knees tremble.

"It's his," he said softly. "It's Pacey's."

No one said anything for a moment. One of the workers noticed something sticking up from under the sail. "What's that?"

Doug reached out and gently pulled back the tattered piece of sail. "Oh my god."

Bessie opened the door to see Jen and Henry standing on the porch. She gave them a grateful smile and let them in.

"How is she," Jen asked as she and Henry sat down on the couch.

Bessie seated herself in a chair and frowned. "She still won't come out. But at least I got her to talk to me."

Jen brightened. "Well, that's a good thing, right?"

Bessie shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Why?"

"She sounded horrible Jen. I mean she really sounded awful. Her voice was so low and hoarse…and hollow."

Henry squeezed Jen's hand. "Think we should break down the door?"

Bessie managed a tiny smile. "I don't think that would help Henry. It doesn't matter where she is…Joey's like a zombie. She's not the same girl she was a few days ago. She's lost in this ocean of memories and regrets and she can't find a way out of them."

"Maybe she doesn't want to find a way out," a voice said from the doorway.

All three of them looked up to see Dawson standing just inside the door. He went over to Bessie and put his arms around her. She hugged him back gratefully.

"That could be," Jen mused. "What do you suggest we do about it?"

Dawson looked at her with a determined face. "Let me talk to her."

Dawson knocked softly on the door to Joey's room. "Joey? It's Dawson."

There was no answer but Dawson knew that there wouldn't be. "Joey, I know that you're hurting and I know that you want to be alone right now. But you're scaring everyone that cares about you." He paused. "Just think about it Joey. You once told me that I had to find my way out of the abyss…now you're stuck in yours again. You have to pull yourself out. Pacey wouldn't want you to act this way."

He started to speak again when he heard her voice. "Who are you to tell me what Pacey would have wanted when you couldn't even forgive him?"

Dawson felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, but he knew that Joey was telling the truth. "You're right Joey," he said softly. "Who am I to say anything? Joey, I'm going through my own hell here. I promise you that."

"Good," was her hollow reply.

Dawson's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Just-just think about what I said Joey. That's all I ask."

Joey didn't answer him. Dawson walked back to the living room. "I have to get out of here," he rushed. "Call me if anything changes."

"Dawson," Jen called.

He was already gone.

Joey was getting very tired. Her leg muscles were aching from running for so long, her head hurt from all the echoes, her heart hurt from all the anguish she was feeling…she felt horrible. Joey had no idea how long she'd been running around in this monstrous cavern. All she knew was that she was running away from one thing and running towards another. She knew what she was running from. Pacey.
"A.J., there are worse things than a broken heart. Like the love that you don't explore."

Pacey was that unexplored love. Joey would never know what it felt like to be free to love him and for him to be free to love her in return. And the realization was killing her.

"I'm not mad that you called me. I just want to know why you called me."

Joey had been so confused and upset that day. Pacey had been there for her, as usual, and had finally physically expressed his feelings for her…and she'd scoffed at him. She'd acted so cruel. Joey ran as fast as she could, desperate to escape the feelings that were surrounding her and squeezing her heart painfully. The cavern got narrower as she ran and soon Joey felt suffocated.

"Well, if it came out of nowhere, then why am I not surprised? You should ask yourself, Joey, if this is really nothing, then why are you so upset and so confused?"

Jen's words reverberated in the tiny space. Joey had to duck to continue going but there was no way that she was staying where she was.

"Look, it's okay, Pacey, I mean…I totally overreacted. I mean, something isn't a big deal unless you let it be, and it-and it's not a big deal. Why get so upset? I mean, it obviously meant-meant nothing, right?"

The words crammed into the small space with Joey, ringing in her ears. Joey moaned in frustration. It was too low to run…she had to walk bent over but she wasn't stopping for anything. She had to get away from all these voices…thoughts…emotions…memories. She just didn't know what she was running to….

"She hasn't come out in three whole days Bodie," Bessie ranted over the phone as she scrubbed the kitchen counter. "She won't open the door. I tried the window but she's got it locked with the blinds drawn. I can't even see in. She won't eat or come out…and she's scaring the hell out of me!"

"Bess, calm down. Hang in there. She'll come around."

"I hope you're right Bodie. I haven't seen her this upset since mom died. She's really scaring me."

"I know."

"Any ideas what I should do?"

"Just wait. Keep trying to talk to her. Talk to Jen. Maybe the both of you can talk her out. If not, than just give her time. Jo's a tough girl but when she's hurting she likes to be left alone. You're the same way."

"I know. But I've never locked myself in a room for three days."

"No but you've come close."

Bessie smiled despite the ache in her heart. "Ha ha. Very funny."

"Listen I gotta go. The restaurants getting full."

"Yeah. Listen, Bodie. You haven't told anyone have you?"

"No way."

"Thanks."

"Yeah. "Well…the little guy misses you."

Bessie smiled. "I miss him to. Give him a big hug for me and tell him that Aunt Joey will be fine."

"I will. Night Bess. I love you."

"I love you too Bodie."

Bessie hung up the phone feeling a little better. Sitting still was not helping though. Bessie jumped to her feet and grabbed the furniture polish. She might as well make use of the time she had.

"Hey Doug," Simon said gently.

"Yeah," Doug asked, looking up from the object he had in his hands.

"I think we found him."

Doug nodded and followed Simon over to where they were pulling a body onto deck. The workers laid it down gently and stepped back. Doug walked towards it, not wanting to but knowing that he had to. He saw the familiar brown hair and sneakers.

"The body's kinda messy Doug," Simon said. "I'll turn him over if you want…."

Doug shook his head. "No. There's no need. This is Pacey. You found him."

Simon nodded. "All right."

A few of the men gently placed Pacey's body in a bag while Doug walked over to the railing and stared out at the ocean. He felt tears sting his eyes but refused to let them fall. Now came the hard part. Doug had to go home and tell everyone that there was no hope that Pacey had survived. He'd seen the body with his own eyes. It was going to kill Joey.

The boat was about to turn back towards shore when Doug noticed something floating close to the side of the boat. "STOP," he yelled, jumping over the side and swimming towards the object. Doug closed his fingers around it and swam back to the boat. Simon helped him up and stared at the object in Doug's hands.

"Man oh man," he muttered, going off to find Doug a blanket.

"Yeah," Doug whispered, holding the object against his chest. He would give it to Joey…along with the other item he'd found. Maybe they could bring her some peace.

Joey now found herself on her hands and knees, crawling through the damp darkness, feeling her way along the small tunnel.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, it's the history. It's killing me. How can a guy compete when you two have your own karaoke routine?"

"Pacey, you're not supposed to compete. We're supposed to have our own his-"

Joey couldn't escape. No matter how hard she tried the voices always caught up with her. But she didn't give up. Joey kept crawling.

"Something tells me that when you kiss a boy, it's not a mistake."

Kissing Pacey had never been a mistake. Her mistake had been pushing him away.

"Look, I know how I feel, you know how I feel. That much is obvious by now but during this whole process, we've managed to miss the point. Because the point is not how I feel, it's how you feel. So how do you feel?"

Joey felt the space getting smaller and smaller. It was getting harder for Joey to crawl.

"Alright. I'll let you in on a little secret about the so-called 'fearless'. We're not as tough as you think we are. And Pacey's heart can break just as easily as the next guy. Maybe even more so considering it was already broken when you got there."

Joey heard Jen's words and tried to crawl further…but she couldn't. Desperate, Joey got on her stomach and began slithering through the tunnel.

"Do you think that whatever was wrong when you were with me is just going to magically get better when you're with him?"

Joey couldn't cover her ears so she began humming under her breath, trying to block out the words that were suffocating her in the cramped space.

"Well, she looks beautiful in the water."

"This morning was really just a formality. I still don't know if she's seaworthy."

"She looks pretty solid."

"I don't know. I think I see some stormy weather ahead."

Joey did not want to hear those words. That conversation had played itself over and over inside her head so many times that she couldn't stand to hear it now…in this place.

"All I asked for was time."

"And that's exactly what you got. You're gonna get three more months of it."

Joey felt tears spring to her eyes. She would have a lifetime.

"Pacey, what does this mean?"

"It means that you were right. That my leaving would be giving up on you. And I'm quite prepared to do that just yet. But it also means that I need to know that you're not quite prepared to give up on me yet, either."

Joey felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. Why had she let him go? Why hadn't she told him that she wanted him to stay?

"Look, I can't do it Pacey. I can't give you a reason to stay. I have so much junk to work through I don't even know where to begin to process it all. I mean how I feel about you and-and how I feel about Dawson-"

"Then you've made your choice. Right there, you made your choice. Good for you."

"I guess I have."

"Yeah. Wasn't so hard, was it? You should have made it months ago. Saved us all a lot of time and energy…and heartache."

Joey began crying harder. Why had she just let him go? Why hadn't she told him the same thing that she'd told Dawson when they were sitting on the dock the night before?

"I just thought you might like to know about it before it was too late for you to, uh, say or do something."

Joey heard Doug's words and screamed. Suddenly, she found herself out of the tunnel and hanging in the air. Then she fell….

Bessie and Jen heard Joey scream. They jumped to their feet, startled.

"Oh my god," Bessie whispered.

Jen put an arm around her shoulders. "Bessie you cannot blame yourself," she said reassuringly. "Trust me. I'm an expert when it comes to blaming myself. But it's not justified."

Bessie gave her a half-hearted smile. "Thanks Jen. I just-I know my sister."

"She's just scared, heartbroken and extremely mad at herself right now. She'll come out of it."

"I hope you're right."

"I think I am."

Bessie hastily wiped at the tears that fell down her cheeks. "It's just that I'm so scared. Joey, Alex, Bodie…they are all that I have. Joey is my sister and I love her. I need her to keep going. I can't do all of this by myself."

"I know. But have you told her that?"

"No," Bessie sniffled.

"Then maybe you should," Jen said softly.

"Yeah."

Jen held out her hand. "Let's go."

Bessie smiled gratefully and took it. "Yeah."

Joey couldn't sleep. She'd lain in bed for hours but it was useless. Her mind was still reliving the day that she'd spent with Pacey. Joey quietly got out of bed, dressed and went outside with her blanket. Maybe if she got some fresh air her head would stop spinning, her heart would stop racing and she could get a few hours sleep. She walked across the back lawn to the edge of the creek and spread out her blanket, sitting down on it.
"Hey," a voice said softly.

Joey looked up, startled. "Pacey. What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"Me either," she admitted, patting the place next to her.

Pacey sat down next to Joey and she leaned against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin on the top of her head.

"Thinking about today," she asked.

"Yeah."

"Me too."

Pacey closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of her hair. She was intoxicating.

"Pacey?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what's happening between us."

"Me either," he said honestly, kissing her ear.

Joey entwined her fingers with his. "All I know is that I don't want it to end."

Pacey felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest as she turned around and looked at him. He reached out and traced the outline of her face with one finger. "Joey…."

Joey leaned in and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him, holding him close, never wanting to let go.

Pacey kissed her passionately. He had never felt so complete or so empty in his entire life. The knowledge that Joey wanted his kisses was enough to make him happy…but the way that she'd been acting today…it made Pacey wonder if maybe there was something deeper there for her like it was for him.

Joey pulled back and gazed at him. "Why do you want me Pacey," she asked softly.

Pacey looked at her, stunned by the question. "Joey, how could I not want you? You're so vibrant and passionate and stubbornly adorable…" he trailed off.

Joey stared at him.

"Why do you want me," he asked her.

Joey met his eyes. "Because you're vibrant and passionate and stubbornly adorable."

They smiled at each other and found themselves kissing once more. When they broke apart, Pacey stared deeply into her eyes. He could get lost in them. "You want me to stay?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah. At least until the sun rises in a few hours."

Pacey nodded. "Okay." He stretched out on the blanket, pulling Joey down with him. She curled up against his side and lay her head on his chest.

"This feels nice," she admitted, breathing in his scent, loving the way he smelled.

"Yeah, it does," he said hoarsely.

Joey wrapped her arms tightly around him and sighed contentedly. "Pacey?"

"Yeah, Jo?"

"I-I wish this could last forever."

Pacey's arms tightened around her. Had she been about to say something else? "Me too."

They lay in each other's arms, gazing up at the sky until the sun rose.

"I gotta go," he said, gently untangling himself. "And you should go inside before Bessie wakes up."

"Yeah," Joey agreed, standing up with him. "I'll see you later at the marina."

"Yeah." Pacey started walking away but stopped and turned around. "Jo?"

Joey looked at him expectantly. "Yeah?"

"I-I-I had a great time with you yesterday," he finally said.

Joey nodded. Had he almost said something else? "Me too Pacey."

Joey was lying on the damp earth surrounded by darkness. She was sobbing loudly, her cries echoing in whatever this place was. Her fingers dug at the dirt and her feet beat on the earth repeatedly. Joey wanted to die. "Please, please," she whispered. "Just let me die."

Dawson Leery slowly walked across the street and stood in front of Joey's wall. It was absolutely gorgeous. Dawson sighed as he studied the pictures that had been painstakingly painted on the wall. Every scene showed depth and overflowed with emotion. He had spent the past month or so quietly observing her. Joey really had put everything behind her. Now, he needed to do the same thing. Dawson situated himself on the ground in front of the wall and stared up at it. He had a lot to work through and this was the best place to do it.

"Look at that girl, Dawson. Just take a good look. She's a freakin' goddess man. How long did you think it was gonna be before some guy comes along and is interested in her? I mean, really, dude! And when that happens, what are you gonna do?"

"I'm just gonna take it all as it comes."

He'd told Pacey that he could take it when someone else wanted Joey and he had meant it. He just hadn't been prepared for who that someone had been.

"The point is that you can't control those feelings, Jo, even if they're wrong, they're there. They're always there. You can understand that, can't you?"

Joey had known exactly what he had been talking about that night after they'd walked in on Jen and Pacey. Why hadn't he studied her more closely and seen what was just below the surface…waiting to come out?

"…I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you."

"For what, man?"

"For doing what I asked you to do: taking care of Joey. You really went above and beyond the call. I mean, you did something really special for her. I'm glad she has you."

Dawson had meant what he'd said to Pacey that morning. He just hadn't realized the real reason that Pacey had been so agreeable. He hadn't wanted to fall in love with Joey…he just had.

"Joey, that someone is in that room right now because he's got a hell of a lot more than a 'shred' of concern."

Dawson had said it himself, right to Joey's face. Of course, at the time, he'd thought it was in a "I'd do anything for you because you're my friend" perspective. But, now that he was sitting here, staring up at Joey's depiction of what made Pacey "Pacey", Dawson realized that it had been in a "I'm madly in love with you and I'd sacrifice my life for you" kind of perspective.

"Oh my god, look at this. It's a picture of me and little Joey Potter. God, look how beautiful she was, even then. I really had no idea."

"Well, you must have been deaf, dumb and blind not to notice."

Dawson blinked at the memory. Pacey had said it right there. He had always seen it. It was Dawson who hadn't realized how wonderful Joey was until he was forced to.

"It finally occurred to me, one thing in my life hasn't lost its luster over time – my friendships. You know, I might not be sure about a lot of things in my life, but I'm always gonna be sure of you. And Joey."

"Me and Joey, huh?"

"Yeah. I mean, you– you're pure loyalty, you know? You're still the same guy who drew up that oath we took as kids. Still the guy who'd do anything for a friend."

"And Joey?"

"Joey? She's my conscience. My soul mate. My inspiration. Point is, I'm really glad to have you guys in my life, I'd be lost without you."

"You know, if I'm loyal to you Dawson, it's only 'cause you cast me in the role. You're a story teller, you know? You see everything and figure out what it means. Did you see the look on those kids faces when you were telling them that story tonight? How caught up they were? You're the guy who builds this fantastic world. You just let the rest of us live in it."

Dawson remembered their camping trip so clearly now. Pacey had started to tell him something several times but had never managed to get it out. Now, Dawson wondered if maybe Pacey had been trying to tell him about his feelings for Joey. He also wondered how he could have dumped their friendships the way he had especially since they were what kept him going. 

"Things are changing Dawson. People evolve and some things drop away."

"Things don't have to be any certain way, Joey. Growing up does not have to equal growing apart."

"No, it does."

Joey hadn't needed Dawson as much as he needed her because she had Pacey. And she had tried to tell him that several times. Dawson was sure of that now. But, he'd been in his fantasy world, and had refused to really notice.

"You were my best friend."

"I still am."

"I'm finding that a little hard to process right now."

"It's the truth, Dawson."

"So I guess it's safe to assume that friendship doesn't come above sex in your list of personal priorities."

"This has nothing to do with sex."

"Oh what, are you in love? Is that what this is? Don't look at her, alright? You know what, Pacey? I feel sorry for you. Because when all this is over you are really gonna need your friends and you are not gonna have any. You are not gonna have a single one."

Dawson felt tears sting his eyes and his stomach knotted painfully. He had been so cruel to Pacey. The guy that had always been there for him, regardless of whether or not Dawson had been there for him. His words had come true. Pacey had left Capeside thinking that everything he cherished was gone forever. And, looking back on that night, Dawson realized that the way Pacey looked at Joey was with total love, adoration and devotion. That's why Dawson had been so mad…because he'd seen it with his own two eyes. He just hadn't wanted to believe it.

"Friendship, Joey, right now, we don't have a friendship. We don't have a friendship right now."

"What?"

"As of this moment, we do not have a friendship."

"That is not fair."

"You can't have both of us! You can't have him as your boyfriend and me as your consolation prize. You're going to have to make a choice. And I'm telling you right now, if you choose him, I'm not gonna be around to pick up the pieces when it falls apart."

Dawson felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks. He'd completely lost it. Not that he hadn't had the right to be upset about Pacey and Joey…but he never should have said some of the things he'd said. To either of them.

"I thought you of all people would understand someone falling for Joey Potter."

"Are you delusional enough to believe that you actually have something real with Joey?"

"Well, if I do, it's because of her own free will."

"Do you really think that a couple confused weeks means anything compared to the lifetime that we've had?"

"And do you actually think that you could possibly hold on to that beautiful woman with some sort of selfish ultimatum?"

"Answer my question, Pacey. Do you really think that you can compete with history?"

"Some history. Fifteen years of watching PG movies in your bedroom followed by another year-and-a-half of pretending to be grown-up only to drop each other at the first sign of crisis. That's your history? Come on, man. You call this woman your soul mate?"

"Yes, I do! And you knew that, but you went after her anyway."

"Right after you rejected her."

"Oh, so she was vulnerable. Pefect for you right? 'Cuase you're only interested in girls you can save or screw, right Pace?"

Dawson felt the bile rise in his throat. How could he have said such things to Pacey? Sure, he'd been upset but that was no excuse for what he'd said to him. Pacey would never take advantage of someone, especially Joey. Dawson looked up at the wall with teary eyes, gazing at a picture at the top.

"You don't want me, Dawson. You said it yourself, you just don't want to loose me."

"Of course I don't want to loose you, Joey, I-I want you more than I ever have."

As Dawson sat on the hard ground, staring up at Joey's ode to Pacey, he realized that Joey had spoken the truth. He had wanted Joey…but only when he felt threatened. Dawson had been afraid of loosing Joey forever…even though that had never been the case. He'd always have Joey because she would always love him and she would always be his friend. She just wouldn't be his in the sense that she was Pacey's. But, the realization of even loosing that part of Joey had scared the hell out of him. And when Dawson was scared or angry…he lashed out. And this time he'd lashed out at someone that he could never ever apologize to.

"Things are never gonna be the same between us, are they?"

"No."

"Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think so."

Dawson felt his tears coming faster. Pacey had died believing that Dawson would never forgive him.

"I've come out of my abyss, Dawson. Now it's your turn."

Dawson put his head on his knees and began to cry, letting all the sorrow, pain and anger out. He'd never get the chance to make things right with Pacey…ever. He was gone and with him had gone something that Dawson had treasured more than even he'd realized. The brother he'd never had.

The first thing Joey noticed was that it was quiet. Then she realized that she wasn't alone in the darkness. Someone was with her. Joey sat up and tried to make out who it was. She didn't feel scared. She felt safe…and loved.

"Joey…."

The whispered words flowed through the darkness to her and she knew who it was. As the person got closer the darkness began to fade away and the cave around her began to glow the soft amber color she remembered from another journey she'd taken. Then Joey saw him.

"Pacey…."

He was wearing a pair of worn blue jeans and a black button-down shirt. His hair looked like it was wet and he seemed to be giving off the amber glow that filled the space around them. Joey couldn't believe that he was standing there until he kneeled down next to her.

"Hey Potter," he said softly, reaching out and touching her face.

"Pacey," Joey choked out, tears streaming down her face once again.

He smiled his famous dopey smile, his eyes twinkling. "Yeah."

"But-but you're dead," she managed, wanting nothing more than to throw her arms around him and never let go.

"But you're not."

Joey stared at him. "Pacey, I-I-you mean everything to me. And it just took me so long to realize it…and when I did it was too late." She paused and looked into his eyes. "I don't want to live with out you."

Pacey gazed into her eyes. "Joey, you have to. You have so much to live for. You're so full of life. You can't give up now. Giving up would be giving up on us."

Joey looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"All this time I've been trying to get you to see that you are capable of so much more than you realize and I think that I've finally managed to do that. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come after me."

Joey nodded.

"And if you give up now, well, it would be like giving up on everything that you ever believed in…everything that I ever believed in." He paused and looked at her, his eyes warm with love. "Joey, you have to keep living. I see a very bright future for you. You're going to get out of Capeside and make something of yourself…just like you always wanted."

"But you won't be there with me," she whispered.

"Sure I will. Even if you can't see me."

Joey just cried harder, unable to comprehend how he was there or why he was telling her this, but not really caring. "How did you get here," she finally asked through her tears.

Pacey shrugged. "I'm not sure. All I know is that you needed me and here I am."

"Just like always," Joey added.

"Yeah."

Joey gazed up at him, trying to think of all the words that she wanted to say to him. Nothing would come except one request. "Pacey, would you hold me, just for a little while?"
"Yeah, Jo," Pacey whispered, opening his arms.

Joey crawled into them and locked her arms around his chest, crying violently.

Pacey held her tightly, letting her cry, needing to be there for her one last time. It felt so right to be here with his arms around her. Knowing that he would never do so again was tearing him up inside.

"Pacey, please don't leave me," she mumbled against his chest.

Pacey felt tears of his own slide down his cheeks. "I have to Jo," he whispered. "You have to move on."

"I can't," she cried, hugging him tighter.

"Yes you can Jo. You're strong. That's one of the things I've always loved about you. Your strength and determination are some of your best qualities. Right now, you're determined to die because you feel like you've lost everything. But you haven't Jo. You haven't. You still have Bessie and Alex. You have Jack, Andie, Jen, Mrs. Ryan, and the Leery's …even Dawson. They all need you Joey. They all love you. You have to keep living for them…and for me."

Joey held onto him tightly, hearing his words but not wanting to believe them.

"You have your talent Joey," Pacey continued. "And you have so much that you can do with it. The whole world has yet to see just how great Joey Potter really is…and you have to let them see that."

"Why?"

"Because, Jo, it'll give people hope and strength of their own."

Joey pulled back and looked at him.

"And I'll always be with you Joey, because a part of me will always be inside of you."

Joey sniffled and wiped at her eyes. Then she reached out and touched his face. It felt so warm…and soft…and wonderful. "Pacey…I miss you so much."

"I know Jo. I'll miss you too."

Joey wanted to tell him that she loved him but something was holding her back.

Pacey looked at her. "I've wanted to tell you something for so long and this is my last chance." He paused and looked into her eyes. "I love you Joey," he whispered.

"That's why I want to give up." A tear slid down Pacey's cheek. Joey reached over and brushed it away gently. Joey's eyes shone with tears. "I love you too Pacey," she said softly.

"That's why you can't give up," he told her. He pulled her back in to his arms and kissed her.

Joey felt warmth spreading through her body. She wrapped her arms around him, trying so hard to hold on to the moment, the feeling of being in Pacey's arms, knowing that it would be the last time. 

Once again they stood in front of the mahogany door that looked so huge and intimidating.
Jen knocked on the door. "Joey?"

No answer.

"Joey!"

Joey heard Jen's voice. It sounded very far away. She looked up at Pacey who was gazing down at her. "You have to go now Joey."

Joey shook her head. "I don't want to Pacey. I don't want to leave you."

"Joey," Jen called through the door. "Please open the door. You're scaring Bessie and me."

Silence.

Jen looked at Bessie, who shoved her to the side and began beating on the door. "Joey! Please come out! You're scaring the hell out of me!"

"You have to go Joey," Pacey told her softly. "They're waiting on you."

Joey bit her lip. "No."

Pacey cupped her face, gently. "Joey, you're going to die if you don't come out of this."

"Fine. Let me die. Then I can be with you."

"I can't Joey. It's not your time."

Joey wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Pacey…."

Pacey hugged her back. "Shh. Everything will be okay. You'll see Jo."

Joey nodded. "I wish that we could go back," she admitted.

"Me too, Potter," he said softly. "Me too. But we can't. You can go forward though. And you need to do it now. You need to let go of me and you need to open that door and let the world back in."

"But I'm scared Pacey," Joey whispered. "I'm scared to be alive without you there to make things right."

Pacey smiled. "You'll do fine Jo. You'll see." He pulled away from her, got up, and helped her to her feet. "It's time for you to let go of the past and live for the future."

Joey gazed at him for a moment. Finally she nodded. "All right."

Pacey took her hand and kissed it gently. "I'll be watching Joey. And one day, we'll meet again."

"Then we can be together?"

"Yeah. We can."

Joey actually smiled. "I'll be looking forward to that."

"So will I." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Now go. And don't look back."

She nodded. "I won't." Joey let go of his hand and turned. The light went out and Joey was alone again. Then she woke up.

Bessie looked at Jen for reassurance. She nodded slightly. "Joey," Bessie's voice drifted in to Joey who lay on her bed in the fetal position with her eyes closed. "Joey please open the door."
Joey's eyes snapped open but she didn't move.

Bessie began pounding the door. "JOSEPHINE POTTER! OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Joey flinched but didn't budge. She could tell by the tone of Bessie's voice that she was terrified.

"Joey?"

This time it was Jen's voice that Joey heard.

"Joey, its Jen. Please come out. We want to help you. We're here for you."

Joey sat up on the bed but didn't get up.

Jen and Bessie exchanged glances and grasped hands.

"Joey," Bessie said softly. "Joey please. Please Joey? Just come out. Please sis? Alex and I need you."

Joey shakily got to her feet. Her knees felt like rubber and the world was spinning around her like it did after she'd rode the Gravitron at the fair one too many times.

"Joey," Bessie pleaded, gripping Jen's hand. "Honey, please come out. Please? I can't run the B&B without you. Please Joey. It was Mom's dream and I know that she would want you to be a part of it. Please come out and let me help you."

Joey felt tears spring to her eyes at the mention of her mother. She stood unsteadily on her feet, debating on whether or not she should open the door and let the world back in or if she should stay in her silent prison.

"Please Joey," Jen joined in. "We know how much Pacey meant to you. He wouldn't want you to give up."

"Please Joey," Bessie began again, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. "You're my sister and I love you. I need you to keep me from going insane.

"Please don't give up Joey," Jen added. "You're so strong. Don't give up now. It's never too late to repair the damage. But if you stay in here, you'll never get the chance to make things right."

Bessie and Jen glanced at each other. Much to Jen's own surprise, she found tears of her own coursing down her cheeks. Joey and she had only become close friends recently but she knew that she had a good friend in her and Jen did not want to loose that. It was far too precious.

Joey shakily made her way over to the door and stopped, leaning against it for support.

"Please Joey," Bessie whispered. "Please don't give up on life. You have way too much to live for. You have too much to give. Come back to the people that love you."

Those had been Pacey's words and Joey believed them.

Jen was about to say something when they heard the lock unlatch. She felt Bessie clutching her hand. Slowly the door swung open and Joey stood before them. She was pale with red eyes that were rimmed with dark circles, wrinkled clothes, tangled hair and tear-stained cheeks but she was there.

"Bessie…Jen…," Joey choked out before she fell into her sisters arms, crying violently. Bessie hugged her tightly. "Shh. It's okay sis. It's okay. We're here."

Jen wrapped one arm around Joey and the other around Bessie as all three of them cried together.

Doug Witter drove back to Capeside in silent contemplation. He'd sent Pacey's body home as soon as they'd reached shore yesterday. He'd talked with his father and they'd decided to cremate him and scatter his ashes. It seemed like the right thing to do. Pacey had always loved the sea…even if it had taken his life. Doug had called everyone and let them know that Pacey's body had been recovered. The funeral was set for Friday. That was two days away. Doug would reach Capeside late tomorrow evening and would help his father finalize the plans. Doug glanced over at the passenger seat where two items were sitting, wrapped up in tissue. They were for Joey.

Joey sat at the kitchen table with Bessie, Jen and Henry. Joey had refused to go to the hospital but had reluctantly agreed to let Bessie play doctor.

Henry seemed shocked at her appearance.

"Do I look that bad," she asked, staring at the cup of hot tea in front of her.

"No," Henry stammered. "I just-I-I'm glad you're alright."

"Thank you." Joey turned to look at Bessie. "Please don't make me stick that thing in my mouth. You know I hate that."

Bessie smiled as she held up the thermometer. "Got to check your temp Jo."

Joey reluctantly stuck the themometer under her tongue and glared at Bessie. Jen was smiling as well. Whatever had made Joey come back, she'd come out more or less unscathed. The thermometer beeped and Joey took it out.

"101," Joey said wrinkling her nose. "No wonder everyone's staring at me."

Bessie took the thermometer from Joey and pointed towards the couch. "Go cover up with a blanket, you're shaking."

Joey weakly got to her feet and went over to the couch. She curled up with a blanket over her, staring at the empty fireplace. They were all acting strange and Joey knew that they were hiding something. "What are you not telling me?"

Three pairs of guilty eyes met hers.

"I knew it. What is it?"

Bessie looked at Jen, unsure of what to do. Jen got up and went over to the couch where Joey was. "Doug called," she said softly. "They found Pacey's body yesterday afternoon."

Joey's eyes shone with tears but she didn't cry. "I know."

"What do you mean 'you know'," Bessie asked, confused.

"I saw him," Joey said softly.

Bessie and Henry looked incredulous but Jen just nodded. "And?"

"He's the reason I came out."

"Yeah. I bet he is."

Bessie shook her head. "I don't care what it was. I'm just glad you came back. And now you need to relax. And take some medicine and get well. I need you back to cleaning toilets."

Joey glared at her sister. "Ha ha. Very funny."

Jen sat down on the floor next to the couch. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Yeah. Well, I still have a long way to go yet. But, I'm dealing."

"Yeah."

"When's Doug coming home?"

"Tomorrow."

"And the funeral?"

"Friday."

Joey nodded. "Thanks for everything Jen."

Jen smiled. "Hey, what are friends for."

Joey smiled back weakly and gave her a hug. "Now get out of here and go get some sleep."

Jen laughed. "Yeah. You too. I'll see you tomorrow."

Jen and Henry left.

Bessie brought over a glass of orange juice to her sister and a cool washcloth. She handed the glass to Joey and placed the cloth over her forehead. Joey took a drink of the juice then set it down on the floor and closed her eyes. Bessie watched her for a moment and was about to turn away when Joey spoke.

"I need you too Bessie," she said softly.

Bessie took Joey's hand and squeezed it. "I know."

Andie nervously knocked on the Potter's back door.

Bessie opened it and looked at her warily. "Andie."

"Hey Bessie. Is Joey awake?"

"That depends. Are you going to lash out at her? I just got her to come out of her room last night. I don't want her running back in."

Andie hung her head. "I know I behaved horribly. I came to apologize."

Bessie opened the door wide enough for Andie to come through. "In that case, come on in."

Andie smiled gratefully. "Thank you Bessie."

Joey was gazing out the window when she heard someone come into the room. "Bessie, I don't need anymore orange juice, my temperature has went down and I do not want another washcloth."

"It's me Joey."

Joey turned around, startled. "Andie!"

"Yeah." Andie cautiously came further into the room and sat down on the other end of the couch. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay."

Andie fiddled with her skirt nervously. "Look, about what I said the other day, I-"

Joey held up her hand. "Andie, please, don't worry about it. You were just upset. I know that you really didn't mean it."

Andie looked relieved. "Joey, I just want you to know that I would never deliberatly say something like that to hurt you."

Joey nodded. "I know you wouldn't Andie. We've been through this before."

Andie smiled. "Yeah. We have." She paused and looked at her shoes.

"What is it," Joey asked.

"I'm leaving."

Joey looked at her, confused. "Leaving?"

"Yeah. P-Pacey's death has really messed me up. Dad and I agree that I should go back to the clinic for awhile. Just long enough for me to sort everything out and regain my equilibrium. "

Joey looked at Andie sympathetically. "I'm sorry Andie."

Andie shook her head. "You shouldn't be apologizing to me, remember? I'm the one that called you a bitch and accused you of murder."

Joey flinched.

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I just-it still really hurts."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

They sat together in silence for a moment.

"When are you leaving," Joey asked.

"Saturday."

"Oh."

"I just-I just didn't want to leave without being able to look you in the eyes and say I'm sorry."

"Well, you just did. So don't worry about it anymore, alright?"

Andie nodded. "Okay."

Joey put an arm around Andie and hugged her. "I'm here for you if you need me."

Andie sniffled. "I know you are."

Joey reached over and plucked a tissue from a box sitting on the coffee table. "I took your advice," she said, handing Andie one.

Andie actually laughed as she took it and blew her nose. "Thanks."

Doug Witter closed the door to his apartment. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and took it to the living room. He sat down on the couch, sipping it thoughtfully. That was when he noticed that the light on his answering machine was blinking rapidly. In all the haste to meet Pacey, he'd never got to check it. Doug reached out his hand, as if it were in slow motion, and pressed the "play" button. 

"Hey Dougie! It's your imbecile of a younger brother. I just wanted to let you know that everything's going okay. Making really good time. I do nothing but think about Joey…of course, but that was expected right? I hope that she's doing well. I hope that everyone is doing well. And I hope that none of your trainees have stolen your Diva's Live collection or I'm sure that when I get back I'll be visiting you in a penitentiary. Anyway, don't forget to check on Buzz for me every once in a while. I'll call again when I dock next. Bye."

BEEP!

Doug leaned back on the couch, downing the rest of his beer in a matter of seconds.

"Dougie, it's me. Just checkin' in again. I'll be glad when you get back so I can talk to a human voice and not a machine's. Still doing real well…its just-it's just lonely. I hope that everyone, particularly a mouthy brunette, is doing well. Believe it or not, I miss my closet-case brother. Can you believe that? Anyway, hope camp's making you crazy. Bye.

BEEP!

Doug dropped his head in his hands. He listened to the entire tape, letting the tears that he had been holding back for days finally fall.

Joey stared up at her wall. She'd finally had to tell Bessie to leave her the hell alone. She felt all right now. Physically at least. Once she'd come out of her room, she'd recovered quickly, partly because she'd always been a fast healer but mostly because of what Pacey had said. Now she stood looking up at the wall that she had painted for him. He would never see how much love and effort she had put into it. But, then again, maybe he would. Pacey said that he would be watching her and Joey believed that. She knew that most people would be doubtful that her experience with Pacey had been real but Joey knew that it had happened. And Joey was not one to be spiritual. She'd spent the entire day thinking about what she was going to do about the empty space on the wall. She had hoped to paint their future. And now she knew what that was. Joey sat her special can of paint on the ground and opened it. She took her brush and dipped it in the paint. Then she went to work.

Fifteen minutes later she was done. She replaced the paint lid and stood looking at the wall. It was finished.

"Hey," a voice said behind her.

Joey turned around to see Dawson standing on the sidewalk. "Hey."

Dawson cautiously walked over to her. "How are you?"

"I'm just taking it one day at a time Dawson," Joey said honestly. "How are you?"

"Terrible."

"Oh."

Dawson paused. "Look, Joey, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what you said...and I-I finally understand."

Joey looked at him. "Go on."

Dawson got a pained look on his face. "What I said and did…it was wrong. I-I apologize for that."

"The person that needed to hear that the most isn't around anymore," Joey said softly.

Dawson gulped. "I know that Joey. I'm trying to make amends. Honest, I am."

Joey nodded. "Okay."

Dawson looked at the wall and for the first time Joey noticed that he had something in his hand.

"What's that," she asked curiously.

Dawson held the object up for her to see. It was the sketch that she had given him. 

Joey felt tears sting her eyes. "I wasn't sure if you'd kept it."

Dawson looked at her, incredulous. "Of course I kept it. It's the best gift I've ever gotten…well, besides my camcorder."

Joey actually smiled. "Yeah."

Dawson turned serious again. "Anyway, I've spent the past month and a half trying to figure everything out. Then, the other night, I came by your wall and I had to stay. I sat here for hours, thinking about things, about my life, about my mistakes, about my future. I realized that you haven't been mine for a very long time…if you ever were."

Joey looked at him strangely.

"What I mean is, you have always been my friend Jo. Basically since we were old enough to talk. So has Pacey. You were the two most important people in my life. But you were never mine to keep locked away until I wanted to take you out. And neither was Pacey. And I admit, when I found out about the two of you, I was extremely upset. I had every right to be upset."

"Yes, Dawson, you did."

"I was hurt, angry, jealous," Dawson paused. "But I was wrong."

Joey stared at him, shocked. Dawson Leery admitting that he was wrong about anything was a cataclysmic event.

"I should never have said the things that I said to you or-or the things that I said to Pacey. I acted immaturely and I sincerely apologize for that."

Joey stared at her wall, silently taking all of it in.

"I should have seen it a long time ago."

"What?"

"How much he loved you," Dawson said softly. "And-and how much you love him."

Joey felt tears spring to her eyes. "So should I."

"I also realized that you were right. What you said to me about me only wanting you when I felt threatened…you were right. That's exactly how I felt. I felt threatened by Pacey because I thought that I would loose you forever. I thought that I would loose everything that we were to each other. And my pride was insulted by the fact that I had lost you to my best friend." Dawson paused. "But I have realized that will never happen. You will always be there for me. You'll always be my friend. I just won't be able to hold you like I used to or kiss you like I used to. And that's okay because I don't think that you'll ever feel that way towards me again…and I'm not really sure if I ever really felt that way about you."

Joey nodded as if she'd known this all along.

"When you started to go to France last year, I asked you to stay because I was scared. I was scared of loosing you. I wanted you all to myself, I didn't want to be alone…and that was selfish. And this year, with all of the stuff with Pacey, I did it again. I was afraid to be alone…I was scared that I would be. But the truth is that I will never be alone because I'll always have you and everyone else that cares about me. What makes this whole thing so bad is that we all hurt the people that we cared about the most. And now, one of us is no longer here to make it up to. " Dawson paused and looked at her. "But you are Joey. And so am I."

Joey looked at him with teary eyes.

Dawson cleared his throat and looked down at the sketch. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…I've never taken loosing anything well. I've already lost one of my best friends and-and I don't want to loose the other one."

Joey stared at him for a moment and felt the tears falling down her cheeks. Then she nodded.

Dawson let out a huge sigh of relief and looked at Joey. "So…we're Dawson and Joey…friends forever?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah," she said softly. "I just wish that Pacey were here."

"Me too Jo," he choked. "Me too."

Joey started to say something else but couldn't. She turned around and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Dawson hugged her back.

"Thank you Dawson."

"Thank you Joey."

When they finally ceased crying and pulled away from each other Dawson pointed to her wall. "Is it finished?"

Joey nodded, wiping at her cheeks. "Yeah. It is."

"It's beautiful Jo," he said sincerely. "And I'm sure that wherever Pacey is that he thinks so too."

"Yeah. I just wish that I could have shown it to him."

Dawson stared at the wall for a moment, a plan forming in his head. "Yeah. I know you do."

Joey looked at her wall sadly. "I miss him so much Dawson, it's like I can't breath."

Dawson put his arm around her. "I'm sorry Jo. I really am."

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me…."
Joey stared out at the water as the preacher continued. She felt numb at the knowledge that they were really about to scatter Pacey's ashes. Up until now, she had tried not to think about the finality of the situation. But it had come crashing home as soon as they'd boarded the boat this morning. Pacey would never again smart off at her or kiss her or hold her or do any of the things that she had grown so accustomed to him doing. He was gone. It was reality.

Joey looked at the people that were gathered on the boat. Dawson and his parents, the Witter's, Doug, Jen, Henry and Mrs. Ryan, Andie, Jack and Mr. McPhee, Bessie, Alex and Bodie, Buzz, even their ex-principal Mr. Green had come. They all looked the same…wearing black clothing and sad expressions. Joey closed her eyes as the tears seeped through her lashes, praying for it to be over soon. Finally, the torture ended and they headed back to shore. The Leery's had agreed to have a small reception at their house and everyone dispersed, promising to meet there.

An hour later, Joey had taken all of the condolences she could handle. She told Bessie that she had to get away and snuck out the backdoor. She walked down the dock and sat down on the edge, trying to keep herself together.

"Joey?"

Joey looked up to see Doug standing next to her with something in his hands. "Hey Doug."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

Doug sat down next to her with a package in his lap. "How are you?"

"Honestly? I feel like I'm literally pieced together Doug. I keep having to tell myself that this is real…that it's forever. I mean, I keep thinking that any minute he's gonna come walking down this dock, calling me 'Potter' and picking on me for wearing a dress."

Doug smiled sadly. "I know. I've been missing his closet-case jokes."

Joey smiled weakly. "Yeah."

"When I came home yesterday…I remembered that I never got to listen to my messages. So…I played them."

"Oh Doug," Joey said softly. "I'm sorry."

Doug shook his head. "Don't be Joey. It actually, well, it made me feel better…after I'd cried until I hurt."

"Yeah."

"He asked about you every time," Doug added.

Joey looked up at him, surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. He did."

Joey felt fresh tears spring to her eyes. "Dammit," she muttered. "I can't stand to cry."

"Me either…but sometimes, it's what we need to do."

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

Doug looked down at the package in his lap and cleared his throat. "Listen, Joey, when we went searching for Pacey's body…and the wreckage we found a few things. I thought that you might want to have them." Doug handed Joey the package.
Joey took it with trembling hands. "What is it?"

"Just open it," Doug said softly.

Joey undid the tissue and stared at what was sitting in her lap. "Oh my god," she choked out, her hand over her mouth. Nestled in the tissue paper was the True Love's boat plaque. Surprisingly, it hadn't even been scratched.

"We were about to leave. We'd just-just found the body. I saw it floating close to the boat. So, I jumped in and got it for you."

Joey looked up at him, surprised. "Thank you Doug," she whispered. "It means a lot to me."

"I know." Doug paused. "You were his 'true love', Joey. Maybe this can help you get through all the pain and loneliness that lies ahead."

Joey nodded. "I think it's already here."

"Yeah, well, it's just beginning."

"I know."

They sat there in silence for a moment. Then Joey noticed that there was a smaller package under the plaque. "What's this?"

"See for yourself," Doug told her.

Joey pulled back the tissue paper and a sob escaped her lips. Lying there was Pacey's journal. "Oh-god-Doug-how-"

Doug put an arm around her shoulders. "It was caught under a piece of sailing that was attached to a part of the boat that we found. Don't ask me how it got there. I don't know…and I don't think I want to know. Maybe it was like the plaque. Someone wanted it to be found."

"Someone more powerful than us," Joey asked.

"Yeah. I guess so. What I can't seem to figure out is why he'd want to take Pacey."

Joey sighed. "He always takes the good ones first, Doug. And he leaves the rest of us here to muddle through life without them."

Doug looked at her seriously. "Don't give up Joey."

"On what?"

"Life. There's so much more for you to see yet."

"Now you sound like Bessie."

Doug smiled. "Don't turn me into an estrogen carrier."

Joey actually giggled. "Good one Doug."

"Thank you."

They lapsed into silence for a moment. Finally, Joey broke it. "Thank you Doug."

"For what?"

"For helping me and for being there…for everything."

Doug nodded. "Thank you for loving him back Joey."

Joey felt tears sting her eyes and she looked down at the journal in her lap.

"He wrote in it practically every day," Doug confided. "I knew you must have given it to him."

"Yeah," Joey said, a far-off expression on her face. "He gave me one too."

Doug's eyebrow's rose. "He did?"

"Yeah. We actually got a really good laugh over it."

"I bet you did Joey. I bet you did."

Joey leaned over and pecked Doug on the cheek. "You're a great brother Doug. No matter how much he ragged on you, he loved you very much."

"I'm surprised. I wasn't that great," Doug mumbled.

"Yes you were. Even if he never really told you."

Doug looked at her, tears shining in his eyes. "Thank you Joey."

Andie, Jack, Jen, Henry, Mrs. Ryan, Bessie, Bodie, Mitch, Gail, John Witter and Doug all stared at Dawson.

"Wow," Jen finally said. "That's a wonderful idea."

"Yeah," Andie agreed. "I think we should do it."

"Me too," Jack said, putting an arm around his sister.

"I'm all for it," Henry added.

"I'll help any way that I can," Doug said softly.

"I'll take care of the expense," John Witter told them. "Plus, I have some pull with the city officials."

"I've got a friend that owes me some favors," Mitch Leery said, giving his son a wink.

"It would mean so much to Joey," Bessie said thoughtfully.

"I'll cook," Bodie added.

"And I'll help cook," Gail said, smiling at Bodie.

"Count me in as well," Mrs. Ryan said.

Dawson smiled. "Thanks guys. This really means a lot."

Mitch clapped his hands. "Well, let's get cracking. We've only got a day."

Joey sat on her bed with Pacey's journal and boat sign in her lap. She'd come home at eight and had been surprised to find the place empty…but grateful. She'd taken a shower, changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. She needed some time alone. Joey picked up her journal from her nightstand and opened it.

July 21, 2000

Well, things have changed since the last time I wrote in this journal. My trip to tell Pacey how I felt, well, I never got to tell him. He's dead. He died without me being able to tell him in person that I love him. But, something strange did happen. I don't know if it was because of the fever or just because I so desperately wanted it to happen…but I saw him. I saw Pacey. And I got to tell him that I love him…even if it wasn't consciously. And I feel much better now.

I've finished the wall. I finished it last night. I feel like I've paid my respect to Pacey by doing this and I know that I will never regret what I painted. And for another month, at least, people can pass by it on the street and remember what a wonderful person Pacey was…even when he was being a smartass.

I feel like a part of me is missing. And it is. Pacey took it with him and I gave it to him. But I think that he gave me a piece of himself as well. It's sitting here with me now. His heart…in the form of a journal and a boat plaque. Doug found them and gave them to me. He said that maybe they could help me through the pain. And I think that he might be right. Only time will tell.

I've been through a rollercoaster ride this past week and I know that my life has really only just begun. Pacey told me that…Doug told me that…Jen told me that…so many people have told me that. And it's true. My life has just begun and I do have so much life yet to live and so much yet to do. And I think that I'll be all right. I'll get through this because I know that Pacey understands…somehow, I know that he does. And that he'll be waiting for me when my time comes.

"Manufacturer actually told the truth," Joey muttered as she looked down at Pacey's flowing handwriting. It was time to get reacquainted.

January 1, 2000

Pacey Witter here. I've never owned a journal before in my life…but now I do. Joey gave it to me and anything that Joey gives to me I'm going to cherish. She kissed me too. Isn't that something? Sure, it was just a mistletoe kiss…but I don't care. She kissed me! Maybe I haven't been stumbling around in the dark as bad as I thought.

January 12, 2000

I did something crazy last night. I stayed up all night and watched Joey sleep. I wasn't sure what made me do it then but now I know. Mrs. Ryan told us around the fire that you knew you loved someone if you could sit by the fire and watch them sleep all night. Well, I had to see if this was true. So I did it. I'd gone back to tell Joey that I'd talked to the heater guy and I found her asleep on the couch. So, I covered her up and sat down in the chair across from her and watched her…all night long. I just left. I didn't want to be there when she woke up. God only knows what she would have said if she'd caught me. I'd probably be strung up the flagpole by now…thank god she didn't catch me.

As I was sitting there, I replayed every single day of my life that I could remember in my head. I thought about everything that had happened in my life and I tried to figure out when it had happened. When what had happened, you ask? When did I fall in love with Joey Potter? I'm not sure. Maybe since the day we went searching for snails…maybe since the first day we met. I don't know. All I know is that I am crazy in love with her…and she can never know.

It was after midnight when Bessie opened Joey's door to check on her. What she found made her gasp. Joey had her arms wrapped around Pacey's boat sign and a leather encased book. Bessie shook her head sadly and pulled the covers back over Joey. "Sweet dreams Joey."

Joey was sitting on the couch the next afternoon with Pacey's journal in her lap when someone knocked on her door. Bessie had taken Alex with her to the grocery store and she was alone. Joey got up and answered the door. "Dawson!"

"Hey Joey," Dawson said, giving her a warm smile. "You got a few minutes?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good." Dawson took out a bandana and tied it over Joey's eyes.

"Dawson? What the hell are you doing," Joey demanded.

"It's a surprise," he said, grabbing Joey's hand and dragging her out of the house. 

"Where are we going," Joey asked as he led her down Main Street.

"You'll see," he said secretively, pulling her along. "Come on. We're almost there."

Joey groaned in frustration but allowed him to lead her wherever it was they were going.

Finally Dawson stopped . "Here we are," he said, removing the bandana from her face.

Joey started to yell at him for dragging her blindfolded down the streets of Capeside but stopped when she saw where they were. "Oh my god…."

They were standing in front of Joey's wall. Only now there were two park benches and a flower bed there as well. And something else.
"What's that," Joey asked, pointing to the slender wooden platform.

"Go and see," Dawson said.

Joey walked up to the object and looked down at it shocked. Tears filled her eyes. "How did you do this Dawson," she asked, shocked.

"Well, I didn't," he said honestly.

Joey turned around and saw that they weren't alone anymore. Jen, Andie, Jack, Bessie, Bodie, Henry, John Witter, Doug, Mrs. Ryan, and the Leery's were standing on the sidewalk smiling at her.

"We did it," Dawson told her.

Joey felt tears sliding down her face. "I-I don't know what to say," she choked.

Jen came up to her and put an arm around her. "You don't have to say anything. We all wanted to do this."

"Right," Jack said, coming around and hugging her from the other side.

"Very true," Andie agreed, hugging Joey from the front.

"We all love you Joey," Dawson told her, draping his arm around her neck. "And we all loved Pacey. We bought the wall and everything else you see here for both of you…for all of us."

Joey couldn't stop the tears that fell down her cheeks. "Thank you," she whispered, looking at everyone. "Thank you so much."

Dawson smiled. "Mom and Bodie have got a heck of a feast waiting at the restaurant." He paused and looked at her. "We thought we could have a little dedication first," he told her softly.

Andie broke away from the group and stood in front of the wall. "Pacey was, well, he was my savoir. He brought me back from a very dark place inside of myself. And I'll always remember him for that."

Jack walked over to Andie and put his arm around her. "Pacey was my hero. He stood up for me when no one else would. He helped me deal with my inner demons and never judged me for being gay. And I'll always remember him for that."

Jen disentangled herself and stood next to Jack. "Pacey was my comforter. He made me feel better about myself when I needed it most. And I'll always remember him for that."

Henry went over to Jen and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Well, I just recently met Pacey but I'll always remember his honesty…and his kindness."

Mrs. Ryan walked across the grass and stood next to Henry. "Pacey was like a little lost boy to me but I'll always remember him for being there for others when they needed him.

Doug stood next to Mrs. Ryan. "Pacey was my brother. He ragged me to the dogs and back but he never made me feel like I wasn't worthy and I'll always remember him for that."

John Witter stood next to his oldest son. "Pacey was my son. Even though we fought, a lot, I always admired him for his strength and his courage. He was a hero to me…to everyone that knew him. And I will always remember him for that."

The Leery's walked over to the line that had formed together. "I'll always remember Pacey for his strength," Mitch said, putting an arm around his wife.

"Pacey let me be his second mom and I'll always remember him for that," Gail added.

Bessie and Bodie stood next to the Leery's. "I'll always remember Pacey for complimenting my cooking," Bodie joked.

"Pacey always made my sister smile…even when times were hard," Bessie said, eyeing Joey. "And I'll always remember him for that."

Dawson stood next to Bessie. "Pacey was my best friend…the brother I never had. And I'll always remember him for that."

Joey stared at them for a moment. It was her turn. "Pacey was-was so many things," Joey began. "He was my protector, my friend, my dance partner, my hero, my inspiration…my true love." Joey paused as she gazed up at the wall with the picture of Pacey in the center. "He means so much more to me than words could ever say," she continued. "He gave me hope, devotion, love, laughs, tears, butterflies…he gave me so much. And I'll always remember him for everything that he ever did." Joey wrapped her arms around Dawson as they all looked up at her wall.

The wall was gorgeous. There was no denying the fact that Joey had poured everything she had into painting it. All her tears, her laughs, her heartache, her love…everything. And it showed. Every single ounce of it. It depicted moments from Pacey's life that were significant to the person he'd been. There was a picture of Pacey and his father when they had finally made peace, a picture of the six of them at Dawson's for movie night, a picture of Pacey dressed up for the Miss Windjammer Contest and a picture of the creek with the rowboat. There were pictures of Pacey sailing away, of the field where he and Joey had spent their wonderful day together, of Pacey and Joey dancing at the prom and a picture of Joey kissing Pacey by the fire. In the middle Joey had painted Pacey with his infamous half-smile on his face and below it was a blank space with the word "unknown" written inside it to stand for what could have been but would never be.

The fourteen of them stayed there for over an hour, gazing up at the wall, remembering the person that it was there for, and crying their own tears for the one who would never see it.

Andie stood next to the car, hugging Joey tightly.

"You take care of yourself," Joey told her.

"I will," Andie said, wiping a tear off her cheek. "The wall is gorgeous Joey."

Joey smiled. "Thanks Andie. And thank you for everything you did for me."

Now it was Andie's turn to smile. "That's what friends are for," she told Joey softly.

Joey took something from behind her back and held it out to Andie. "For all those times you need to cry."

Andie laughed as she took the box of Kleenex. "Thank you, Joey."

Dawson Leery sat down at his computer and turned it on. This was something that he hadn't done in months. But now, he felt like he had to. While they had been standing at the wall today, with their arms around each other, paying silent homage to Pacey, inspiration had struck him. And now, he had to get it out. All of his feelings and everything that had happened had to be told. Dawson waited for the program to open and began typing.

It was late and Joey was sitting on one of the benches, alone and glad for it. She had the plaque and the journal sitting on the bench next to her and her wall in front of her. It was all she needed. Souvenirs of Pacey's life. She'd been sitting here for hours but didn't care. She had to do this.

Joey was still grasping the fact that everyone had done this for her. It was the last thing that she had expected but it meant everything to her. Now, she only had one last thing to do. Joey got up from the bench and walked up to her wall and placed her hand on the white space. "Thank you Pacey," she whispered. "You'll never fully understand just how much you mean to me and how much you've changed my life. You're my inspiration and you always will be. And this, well, this will be left to fate. The 'unknown' awaits. I know you'll be watching and I can't wait to see you on the other side."

Joey stepped back and blinked back her tears. "I love you," she whispered. Then she walked back to the bench, picked up her things, and started towards home, leaving behind the wall and the plaque that had been placed in front of it. 

Somewhere along the coast….

"Joey…."

The sun had just come up as twelve-year-old Kristina Morgan ran down to the beach. She saw something lying there and called to her mother. "MOM! COME QUICK!"

Sharon Morgan came running up to her daughter and they walked towards the object. "Oh my god. It's a person," she said softly. "Kristina, go call 911."

The man seemed to come to and he opened his eyes. He saw Sharon in front of him and sat up slowly, grabbing his head, which was trickling blood.

"Hello," she said softly. "Do you know where you are?"

The man looked up at her with confused blue eyes. "No."

"What's your name?"

He stared at her blankly for a moment. "I don't know."

Here are all the songs found in The Ocean Between Us, in order, if anyone's interested. 

Ironic: The Prologue

"How's It Going to Be" by Third Eye Blind

"I'll Be" by Edwin McCain

"Dilate" by Four Star Mary

"Jumper" by Third Eye Blind

Part One: Abyss

"Bent" by Matchbox Twenty

"Turn Back Time" by Aqua

"My Invitation" by Sarah Slean

"Never Saw Blue Like That" by Shawn Colvin

"Sway" by Bic Runga

"A Few Words Too Many" by Billie Myers

"She Spreads Her Wings" by Semisonic

Part Two: Looser

"Sorry for Myself" by Jann Arden

"Like a Friend" by Pulp

"Home" by Staind

"Even Angels Fall" by Jessica Riddle

"Rain" by Madonna

Part Three: Disaster

"Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette

"Sometimes I'm Happy" by Joni Mitchell

"Round Here" by Counting Crows

"I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith

"When You Say Nothing at All" by Alison Krauss & Union Station

"London Rain" by Heather Nova

"Hold On" by Sarah McLachlan

Remembrance: The Epilogue

"I'll Remember" by Madonna

"Eve" by Chantal Kreviazuk

"Time Stood Still" by Madonna

"I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan

"I Could Not Ask For More" by Edwin McCain

"My Own Prison" by Creed

"Angel" by Sarah McLachlan

"I Will Be There For You" by Jessica Andrews

"I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan

"Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan

"Souvenirs" by Mary Beth