BANG!  BANG!  BANG!

 Deana got out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen, flipping on a light so she could see her way to the door.  "Who is it," she mumbled.

 "Mr. Witter."

 Deana was instantly awake.  Running her fingers through her short hair, she tightened the belt on her robe and opened the door.  "Mr. W-Witter.  Merry Christmas."

 Pacey stared at her for a moment, trying to look harsh.  "Deana."

"Momma, who's at the door," Tim asked, ambling into the living room.

Pacey looked past Deana as her son came up and stood next to her, holding on to her legs for support.

"Sweetie, it's cold," Deana told him.  "Go get back under the covers."

"Hello," Tim said, smiling at Pacey.

Pacey looked down at the little boy.

"What can I do for you Mr. Witter," Deana asked nervously.

"Well, if it's alright, I'd like to come inside for a few minutes."

Deana stared at him, shocked.  Then she nodded.  "Of course.  Come in."

Pacey stepped inside the small apartment, shivering.

"I'm sorry," Deana apologized, picking up Tim and setting him down on the couch.  "This building doesn't have a very good heating system."

Pacey looked at Tim who was shivering.  Then he got up.  "Deana, I tell you, I am not going to stand for this!"

Deana's eyes widened.  "Mr. Witter, please, I-"

Pacey walked over to the door and opened it.  "Boys, come in here."

Deana stood rooted to the spot, petrified, as two burly looking men came into the apartment.  One had a load of blankets and the other carried a heater.

"Set them down over there," Pacey said, pointing to a spot next to Tim.

Deana looked at the blankets and heater, to Pacey, to Tim, back to the blankets and heater, to Pacey and to Tim again.  "Oh my gosh.  Mr. Witter, I can't pay for this!"

Pacey smiled and Deana's eyes got even bigger.  "You don't have to pay for them."

"What," Deana asked, confused.

"Bring the rest of it in," he told the men.  Then, walking over to Deana, he took her hand.  "Deana, I want to apologize for the way I've treated you for all these years."

Deana really was staring at him now.

Pacey chuckled.  "Deana, your eyes will cross."

Deana blinked.  "I-I don't know what to say."

"Momma look," Tim exclaimed as the men brought in steaming containers of food, including a whole ham.

Deana stared in wonder as the food was sat on her table.

Once the men were finished unloading, Pacey took out his wallet and handed them the money and included a generous tip.  "Thank you.  Have a merry Christmas."

"You too Mr. Witter."

Pacey looked at Deana.  "There is two more things."

"Uh huh," Deana said, not quite sure what to expect.

"You're getting a raise."

Just when Deana thought her eyes couldn't get any bigger…they did.  "What?"

"You're going to start getting paid what you deserve."

Deana felt tears prick her eyes.  "I don't know what to say."

"There is one more thing," Pacey told her.

"Yes sir?"

Pacey walked over to Tim and picked him up.  "I wanted your approval first but I want to help with Tim.

"H-how?"

"We'll just say a…little birdie told me," he joked.  "Anyway, I have some connections and, with your permission, I would like to call now and get Tim on that list for the testing of the new medication."

Deana started at him for a moment.  Then she burst into happy tears.  "Oh my god!  Oh my god!"  Deana's legs gave out and she slumped onto a kitchen chair, her hands over her face, crying.

Tim looked at Pacey and smiled.  "I like you."

"Well, you sure wouldn't have if you had met me yesterday kid."

Tim laughed.

Deana finally composed herself and looked at him.  Then she jumped to her feet, ran over to him and hugged him.  "Thank you," she told him.  "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," he said.  "Merry Christmas Deana."

Deana stared at him for a moment before smiling.  "Merry Christmas Mr. Witter."

Pacey grinned down at Tim.  "Let's get on the phone with that doctor."

 Joey opened her eyes and stretched.  Christmas morning.  She could already hear the others downstairs.  Joey got out of bed and smiled.  She felt much better after her talk with Jen last night.  Looking out the window she saw that it was snowing.  "Perfect."

 "HEY JO," Bodie said, smiling.  "We were waiting on you."

 "Sorry," she said sheepishly.  "I had kind of a late night."

 "I noticed," he said, chuckling.  "We have a finger painting on our lawn."

 "Sorry."

 "It's okay.  The kids liked it."

 "Yeah," Alex agreed.  "Very professional Aunt Jo."

 "Ummhmm."

 Bessie came into the room with a cup of coffee for Joey.

 "Coffee!  Bless you big sister."

 "Can we open up presents now," Alana asked.

 "Sure, now that your Aunt Joey has her coffee we should be all set," Bodie said, winking.

 Bessie passed out presents as Joey sipped her coffee, enjoying the feeling of being home with her family for the first time in years.

***************

 As they were gathering up the wrapping paper there was a knock on the door.

 "I'll get it," Joey called, going to the front door and opening it.

 "Hello Joey," a tall man with black hair and green eyes said, smiling.

 "Who is it," Bessie asked, coming up behind her sister.  "Oh."

 "Ben."

 "Listen, can I come in?  I would like to talk to you."

 Joey exchanged looks with Bessie, who nodded.  "Yeah, sure, come on in."  She shut the door behind him.  "Let's go into the kitchen."

 "Okay," Ben agreed, following her to the room.

 "Have a seat," she told him, sitting down at the table.

 Ben sat down across from her.  "Listen, I know I probably should not have come by like this but-"

 "No, it's okay," Joey interrupted.  "I'm glad you're here.  I wanted to talk to you."

 "Oh."

 "Listen, Ben, do you mind if I go first?"

 "No, not at all," Ben said, smiling.

 "I-I've been doing some thinking Ben," Joey began, biting her lip nervously.  "And I realize that I have been the one that was in the wrong for a long time."  She paused and he gave her an encouraging look.  "You see, after my breakup with Pacey, I was distraught and confused.  And you were there for me and you said all the right things and you made me feel good about myself again…and I really appreciated it."

 "But," Ben prompted.

 "But, no matter how much I tried to let go of Pacey, I never could.  He was always there.  And I know that it hurts you to hear this.  Believe me, it hurts me to say it."  Joey paused and looked at Ben.  "I realized that I will always be in love with Pacey…even if he doesn't love me anymore."

 Ben didn't look stricken.  In fact, he didn't even look surprised.  "I know that Jo."

 "Oh."

 "In fact, that's why I'm here."

 "Oh."

 "Jo, stop saying 'oh'."

 "Sorry."

 "It's okay.  Listen, I know that I haven't been the best husband in the world just like I know that I probably took advantage of you without even realizing what I was doing.  And I am so sorry for that Joey.  I really, truly am."

 "Me too Ben.  I feel exactly the same way-only wife, you know, instead of husband."

 Ben chuckled.  "I just think we made the wrong move.  I mean I know that I loved you and that I still do.  And it hurts.  And I'm sure that somewhere deep down it always will but…Joey, honestly, I can't stay angry with you anymore.  I know that I just walked out and I'm sorry for that but I had to think."

 "Me too."

 "And this time apart has really done me a lot of good."  Reaching into his jacket he pulled out an envelope and handed it to her.  "Here."

 "What is it," she asked, taking the envelope and turning it over.

 "Just open it."

 Curious, Joey undid the flap and turned up the envelope.  Familiar looking papers slipped out and she gasped.  "Ben!"

 "I figured it was time we let each other go."

 Joey felt tears well up in her eyes and start to flow down her cheeks.  "Oh Ben.  I'm so sorry."

 Ben got up and went around the table.  Joey jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around him.  "So am I Jo," he told her, stroking her hair softly.  "Who knows what might have been if we both hadn't been so dependent and stubborn and all the rest of it.  But it's okay.  At least I can say that I had you once."

 Joey pulled back and touched his cheek, wiping away a single tear that was there.  "You know I'm gonna love you forever right?"

 Ben nodded.  "Yeah.  Just not the way I would have liked for you too."  He pulled back.  But who knows.  "Maybe I'll meet my girl on the way back to Philly."

 Joey laughed.  "Just promise me you'll keep in touch."

 He nodded.  "Always Jo.  Always."

 "Andie, I'm telling you, if I hear the word 'fart' one more time I'm going to chop off someone's head," Jack complained to his sister as he picked up wrapping paper.

 "Jack, really, show some holiday cheer," Andie admonished, laughing.

 "I got plenty of holiday cheer," Jack snapped.  "I'm just tired of that freaking word!   Doug, can't you teach your kids another word?"

 Doug shook his head sadly.  "Sorry Jack, I didn't teach them that word."

 "Well, then who did?"

 "Some kid at school."

 "Figures," Jack muttered.

 "Let's get the stuff ready so we can get over to the Leery's for dinner," Doug said, hauling Jack to the kitchen.

 The doorbell rang.

 "I'll get it," Andie yelled, running to the door and flinging it open.  "Yes can I-" Her eyes widened and she started to yell something but a hand clamped over her mouth.

 "Shh…I need your help with something."

The Leery's, the Witter's, the Potter's, Jack and Jen all gathered at the Leery house to eat Christmas dinner.  The kids ran around, driving the grownups in circles, the women tried to get all the food out while the man took care of the rest of the setup and talked about the football game on television later that afternoon.

 "Hey Joey, you seen my wife," Doug asked, coming into the kitchen.

 "No.  I haven't."

 "Anyone?"

There was a chorus of "no's".

 "Huh, wonder where she went."

 "She might have gone back to the house for mistletoe.  You know how Andie is," Gretchen assured him.

 "That's what I'm worried about," Doug joked.

People were just settling down and taking off their coats when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Dawson called, who was closest to the door.  Opening it he saw Andie.

"Doug's been looking for you."

"Sorry, I got sidetracked."

"That's okay.  Come on in.  We're about to get started."

"Actually," Andie said, raising her voice over the din of the others.  "I was wondering if we could wait a few minutes."

"What's going on Andie," Doug asked, going over to his wife.  "Is something wrong?"

"No, no!  It's nothing like that.  I just, I think we should wait a few more minutes."

"Why," Jack questioned.  "Is something going on?"

The doorbell rang again and Andie pulled Doug and Jack by the collars out of the way.

 Dawson opened the door and stared.

 Fifteen pairs of eyes were staring at the man on the other side of it.

 "Hey Dawson."

 "Pacey."

 "Oh my god," Gretchen said, clutching Dawson's hand.  "Pacey."

 "Hey Gretch.  How are you?"

 "I-I'm great.  We're great."

 "That's wonderful sis.  Really."

 Pacey scanned the crowd but did not see the face he wanted to see most of all.

 "Come in," Mr. Leery called.  "Don't stand outside in the cold."

 "Thank you," Pacey accepted, stepping inside so Dawson could shut the door.

 "Did you know about this," Doug asked Andie.

 She grinned.  "Not until an hour ago."

 "I love you," he said, kissing her cheek.  Then he turned to his brother.  "Pacey, so glad you could make it."

 "Me too Dougie.  Me too."

 There was an awkward silence then everyone began saying hello.

 "Where's Jo," he finally managed to ask over the din.

 At that moment Joey came out of the kitchen to see what the ruckus was all about.  Her eyes landed on Pacey and she stopped in her tracks.

 "Joey."

 The stack of paper plates she had in her hands fell to the floor as she stood there, rooted to the spot, staring at him.

 Pacey stared back, thinking that she'd never look more beautiful than she did at that very moment.  "Jo, I want to talk to you."  He looked around and made a decision.  It was obvious that he was going to have to say what he wanted to tell her in front of fifteen of their closest friends and family.  "I wanted to talk to you about me and why I pushed you away."

 Joey stared at him, saying nothing.

 Pacey took a deep breath and a step forward.  "I pushed you away because I was afraid.  I was so afraid that I wasn't going to be good enough for you or that you would find something better.  And I was afraid that I was becoming my father."

 Jen glanced from Pacey to Joey and smiled secretively.

 "I was such an idiot Jo.  I let my job get in the way of my life with you.  I let it control me.  And that was wrong.  That was so wrong of me.  I never should have put money first.  I just wanted to make sure that we would be okay…and it just started becoming an obsession for me.  I can't tell you when or why…it just did."

 He paused, sweeping a glance around the room.  Even the kids seemed to be paying attention.  Great he thought to himself.  Better not curse.  "The day that you walked away…I've regretted not going after you ever since it happened, even if I didn’t admit it, even to myself.  But, something happened to me Jo, something that needed to happen.  I see everything so clearly now.  The way I treated you…the way I treated all of you.  And I am so ashamed of my behavior."  He took two steps towards her.

 Joey was staring at him; her eyes wide and full of unshed tears.

 "I cam back here because I wanted to tell everyone that I am sorry, even though I know that sorry doesn't fix it, it's at least a step in the right direction."  He paused and his eyes locked with Joey's.  "And I came to tell you something."

 Bessie and Bodie exchanged knowing looks and Jack put his arm around Jen as they shared a secret smile.

 "I know that I can't take back all the things I've done Jo.  I know that.  But I've gotta try and make it up to you."  Pacey's voice was low so full of regret and sincerity and so much passion that the women in the room started to cry…even Jen.  "You see, the day I realized that I had fallen in love with you, all those years ago, I knew it was for forever.  I never stopped, even though I tried to and I tried to push you away.  I have never taken a single breath since that day without thinking 'I love Joey'."

 Joey was crying now too, tears streaming down her face.  But she still didn't move or speak.

 "And I have put you and myself through hell because of my foolishness.  And I can never make that up to you.  I regret every minute of lost time we've had since the day I turned on you, the day I pushed you away.  But I can't bear the thought of living without you a moment longer."

 Pacey paused and took another step towards Joey, feeling tears began to trickle down his cheeks, slowly drawing closer and closer to her.  "When I proposed to you all those years ago I meant every word that I said…and I still do.  I, Pacey Witter, am so in love with Josephine Potter-Forster that I can't see straight without you to focus on.  I lost my way for a long while and do you know who pulled me out of it?"

 Pacey looked her directly in the eyes and smiled through his tears.  "You.  You did it Jo."

 Joey blinked.

 "You're my rock, my strength…my weakness.  You're everything that I am, and so much more."

 Gretchen and Dawson looked at each other, hands joined.

 "After all these years, I still realize that all I have to do is touch you and know that everything is going to be okay.  I need you more than money, than fame, than ANYTHING else in this world.  I want to be the one to hold you at night, to make love to you, to wipe away your tears when you cry or blow your nose when your sick.  I still want to be that man."

 He was so close to her but still so far away.  Pacey stopped moving and looked at her.  "I love you Joey.  You make me whole.  And I know that you're married and that what I'm asking is out of the question…but I have to try.  I can't walk away again.  I can't let you slip through my fingers.  You're too good not to fight for."

 Joey, who had been silent the entire time, finally spoke.  "I'm divorced," she whispered.

 "What," he asked, surprised.

 "I said I'm divorced," she repeated, loud enough for everyone to hear.  "Ben came by this morning and dropped the papers off."

 Pacey felt his tears began to course down his cheeks.  "Are you saying that-that-"

 Joey looked at him.  "You had me the minute you opened your mouth," she whispered.

 That was it.  Nothing could have kept him away from her then.  He closed the few remaining feet between them, pulled her into his arms and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

 Everyone started cheering.

 Pacey didn't care.  All he cared about was her.  He kissed her nose, her forehead, her cheeks, her eyelids….

 The grownups discreetly looked away and covered the children's eyes.

 Pacey pulled back, looking into her eyes.  "Marry me Jo."

 Joey's eyes widened.  "What?"

 "When you're ready, if you ever are, marry me.  I'm not going to put it off.  You tell me yes and when and I'll be there, waiting on you."

 Joey smiled.  "How does Valentine's Day sound?"

 Pacey pulled her back in for another kiss, his mouth covering hers, his hands in her hair, feeling so content that he thought he was going to explode.  When they finally broke apart for a second time Jack spoke up.

 "Can we please please eat now?"

 Everyone burst into laughter and began sitting down at the table.  Mitch brought in a chair for Pacey and he was about to sit down when he noticed something out of the corner of his eyes.  Turning around, he walked over to the window and looked out onto the front lawn.  Standing there smiling at him was Mrs. Ryan, Lillian Potter, the sixteen-year old version of Joey and even John Witter.  He smiled back and waved.  "Thank you," he whispered.

 They all waved then disappeared into the snowy afternoon.