Joey Potter ran as fast as she could towards the marina. She'd gone looking for Pacey and Doug had told her that he was leaving today instead of tomorrow. Joey was not one to pray but she prayed none the less as she sprinted towards her future. Please God. Don't let him have left yet she prayed over and over again. Joey skidded to a halt at the docks. The boat was not there.
"NO," she yelled before she could stop herself. Joey ran down the dock and scanned the horizon. In the far distance she could make out a boat. It had to be him. She frantically began waving her arms and yelling at the top of her lungs. "PACEY! COME BACK! PLEASE COME BACK! I CHOOSE YOU! I WANT TO COME WITH YOU! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! PLEASE COME BACK TO ME! TAKE ME WITH YOU! TURN AROUND PACEY! PLEASE HEAR ME AND TURN AROUND!"

The people on the docks were staring at the girl. Obviously she was trying to flag down the sullen boy that had just sailed out. They felt sorry for her. Joey was too upset to even snap at them to mind their own business. Pacey was not turning around. Joey debated swimming after him but there was no way that she would ever catch him. No one could swim that fast. Plus she was already out of breath from the exertion of her sprint across town. If she got in the water and tried to swim she would surely drown. As tempting as the idea to jump in and let the sea claim her was Joey knew that she could never do something like that to Bessie and Alexander. Or Pacey.

Joey stared after the little boat as it continued its course towards the open sea. What she had wanted for so long had finally been in her grasp and she had let it slip away. Joey was incredulous. Pacey was leaving and she had not been able to stop him. He left thinking that I didn't care about him she thought to herself tearfully. He thinks that I don't love him. That could not be farther from the truth. Joey had never loved anyone as much as she loved Pacey even if it had taken her forever to realize it. Throughout the entire year, actually their entire lives, Pacey had always been there for her. Even when she had tried to push him away. She had grown accustomed to his welcome arms and unwavering devotion. Now Joey realized that she had taken that for granted…that she had taken him for granted. He'd offered up his heart to her and she had taken it and trounced on it. Broken-hearted, Joey sank to the dock and felt the tears overcome her as the little boat disappeared into the bright orange sunset.
 

Jen Lindley strolled along the docks idly. The day had definitely been full of surprises, some better than others. Jen smirked. She had definitely surprised Henry. Jack had finally kissed the first person of the same gender and it had totally backfired on him. But Jack was strong, being gay he had to be, and he was coping quiet nicely. Andie had been inwardly sad at Pacey's leaving and Joey going after him but she had been her usual upbeat self. Dawson had been another story entirely. He had been so quiet and standoffish. Jen knew that if they had left him alone like he'd asked they would not be hearing from him for a long time. He would shut himself up in his room with his computer, thoughts of the old days and romance classics until he went insane. And none of them were about to let that happen. Jen turned towards home and saw a figure slumped on the end of the dock. Thinking that someone was in trouble, Jen cautiously made her way over to the end of the dock.

Joey had no idea how long she had been there, crumpled on the wooden dock. All she knew was that it was dark and that the mosquitoes were draining all her blood. Still she sat there in utter disarray. Joey was unsure of what to do. Her entire future had sailed away from her. Her heart was breaking. It had been broken before but never like this. What was she going to do now? Would Pacey come back with a new woman? Would he ever speak to her again? What would she say to him if he did? What if he died out there and never knew that she loved him? A noise behind Joey made her turn around, startled.

"Joey," Jen asked cautiously.

Joey was too drained to even reply.

Jen sat down next to Joey and gazed at her intently. "You were too late."

Joey sniffled and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Jen sighed. "Joey. I'm sorry. I really am."

Joey choked on the tears that were threatening once again.

Jen noticed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Joey shook her head and found herself crying uncontrollably once more.

Jen silently put an arm around Joey's shoulders and sat with her as she cried.

Bessie Potter was just before calling the Capeside police when the door opened.

"Where have you been," Bessie launched without even looking at Joey. "You worried the hell out of me!"

Jen held up her hand. "Bessie-"

"Jen. I appreciate you trying to help but stay out of this. Joey, where were you?"

Jen looked at Joey and removed the arm that was around her waist.

Bessie finally took a good look at her sister. "Jo…are you drunk?"

Joey rolled her eyes and began walking towards her room.

"Joey! Come back here," Bessie yelled after her sisters retreating form.

Jen put a restraining hand on Bessie's arm. "Bessie. Maybe you should let up for a little while."

Bessie turned to look at Jen. "Why," she asked angrily.

"Because Joey just lost a piece of herself."

"What," Bessie fumed, flying off the handle. "With who?"

Jen tried not to laugh but couldn't help it. "No Bessie. Not that 'piece'."

Bessie calmed down considerably. "Oh…then what?"

"Her heart."

The ceiling is white.
Joey had discovered this after the first ten minutes of staring at it, wishing that she could turn back time in order to catch Pacey before he sailed away. It had given her something to focus on. Now, two hours later, she saw holes. They were tiny microscopic specs that turned into rabbit holes at closer inspection like the one that Alice went down in Wonderland. Joey found herself falling down each one of them, reliving memories she really did not want to face. Ghost voices filled her head, reminding her of moments that were best forgotten.

The first one gave off a soft amber glow and Joey felt safe even though she could feel herself falling further and further down it. As she fell, she saw events of her life rolling by.

"It's a new year Joey. You never know, we could even end up friends."

Pacey. His voice caught her off guard and she scanned the hole but he wasn't there. Instead, all she was left with was the memory of his words. Joey heard the next sentences and she knew what this hole was intended to do.

"He kissed you didn't he?"

"What makes you say that?"

"He'd have to be a moron not to…."

This hole was to demonstrate how Joey had fallen in love with him and how Pacey had always admitted he loved her…without actually saying so. That was why this hole felt warm and safe. As Joey continued to fall, more voices drifted out to her.

"You know who you sound like?"

"Who?"

"Me. Right before I started dating him."

Joey cringed at Andie's voice. She had never meant to hurt Andie. But, of course, she had.

"Be honest. The only reason you were hanging out with me is simply because Dawson told you to?"

"Yep. That's the only reason."

Joey actually smiled as those words rushed by her. She had thought that if she got to feeling good enough that she would be able to fly out of the hole but instead she just kept falling further into the amber abyss.

"I just thought that your next endeavor should be bigger and better than your last one. It's important that you keep on growing, both as a person and as an artist."

Joey grinned as she remembered tromping through the freezing weather with Pacey, wondering what the hell he was up to. When he had shown her the wall Joey had felt something that she did not want to admit had been there. Now fate was making sure that she remembered it. Adoration. That much was certain on both sides. Love…from Pacey for sure and possibly subconsciously from herself. Joey mulled over this as she continued falling until the next exchange floated to her.

"This A.J. guy didn't know you cuz if he did, he never would've walked away."

"I was going to say you Pacey."

Joey closed her eyes. His words had been so honest. She should have realized his feelings long before then but those words should have knocked even the most oblivious person into awareness. But not Joey Potter. Even her own words to him echoed what she was feeling but couldn't quiet put into context. Joey suddenly found herself soaring up the hole and back to earth. A moment later she was lost in a deeper, darker hole. It was almost pitch black and Joey could barely see anything. No scenes passed before her, she merely heard the voices.

"I just had a meltdown? Forgive me if I don't think that this is the worst tragedy in the history of humankind, that Pacey Witter in a moment of impulsive, compulsive hormone-induced insanity would have the nerve to kiss Joey Potter. And you let me do it! You did! You let me do it. So what?"

Joey had to admit that Pacey's unexpected kiss had provoked emotions she had not wanted to acknowledge existed. She felt a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth. It had been a great kiss. One of the best ones she had ever had. Pacey's lips made her knees feel like jelly and his hands on her face made her want to melt into his arms. That kiss, of course, had only been the first of many. As Joey thought about this she continued to fall.

"You know, for a bright girl you can be really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came here? I came here to be with you! It's as simple as that! When you like someone proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you. Or don't, as the case may be."

Joey felt herself slowing down. For some reason her mind wanted her to remember all these moments. Moments that Joey was trying so hard not to think about. The next conversation she heard made her eyes well up with tears. It had been here that she had finally made the first move and let Pacey know that she did feel something for him.

"If you felt even one shred of what I feel for you, then we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation."

Joey remembered taking his hand in hers, stopping him from walking away. She'd looked up into his stormy blue eyes and known what she wanted. Then she had kissed him. It had been one of the sweetest kisses she had ever known. Gentle, loving, sensual…everything that was described in Bessie's romance novels was in that kiss. The kiss had lasted for an eternity. When they had pulled away from each other Joey had looked into his eyes and seen that they were shining with tears. As Joey remembered the space around her lightened until she could literally see the memory.

"It's about time Jo," he whispered, running his hands through her hair.

Joey smiled at him. "Yeah. It is."

"So where do we go from here," he asked looking at her with adoring eyes.

Joey shrugged. "I don't know," she told him honestly. "And right now I really don't want to think about it."

Pacey nodded. "But Jo, don't you think we-"

Joey placed a finger over his lips. "Shh."

"Jo?"

"Remember when you asked me if I ever got tired of talking?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm tired of talking."

Pacey gazed at her with his beautiful blue eyes and then gently kissed her finger. Joey felt chills race up her spine. Their gazes locked and they stared into each other's eyes as if lost. Joey brought her free hand to the back of his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, replacing her finger with her lips. They kissed…and kissed…and kissed, reluctant to let each other go even for a second. Finally Dawson yelled at them from the porch.

"Guys! It's time to hit the sack."

They broke away guiltily, glad for the shelter from the trees. Pacey took Joey's hand and kissed it gently. "After you."

The memory faded into darkness and Joey found herself shooting back up the hole. She knew what was coming next and did not want to face it.

Three Hours Later

The wooden door loomed before them like a gate to a fortress. Bessie looked at Jen anxiously. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. She was just laying there on the dock…crying."

"Do you know why?"

Jen shrugged. "Bessie…it's not my place to tell you. And I can only speculate because I was not there either. The only person that can tell us what happened is Joey. And right now I really don't think she wants to discuss it."

Bessie stared at the younger girl for a moment then nodded. "This has something to do with Pacey doesn't it?"

The look on Jen's face was all the confirmation she needed.

"Joey," Bessie called knocking gently on the door. "Joey. Open up."

No answer.

"Joey?"

"Go away," a small voice said.

"Joey, it's Jen," Jen tried.

There was silence for a moment then they heard Joey. "Jen. You'd better not tell Dawson that I'm still here."

Jen flinched. "I won't Joey," she said quietly. "Will you open up?"

"GO AWAY!"

Bessie looked at Jen with a strained smile on her face. Joey was just like she was and Bessie knew that it was best to give her some time alone.

"You want me to make some coffee," Jen offered.

Bessie nodded absently, her thoughts on her younger sister, as they made their way towards the kitchen.

Jen and Bessie have not bothered me for awhile.

The thought seemed far away and not her own. Joey wasn't sure how long she'd been here but she knew that she was not ready to come out. Her journey wasn't over yet. As if on cue she felt herself spiraling down a pitch black hole. She knew that this would be the last one. The air was frigid and there were hardly any voices at all. The only thing with Joey in the darkness was emotions. She felt anger, depression, fear, love, heartache, worry…they all blended into one entity and Joey felt like ice. Then she heard a voice. It came out of nowhere and whipped by her in a flash but she heard every word it said.

"You can't have him as your boyfriend and me as your consolation prize. You're going to have to make a choice."

Joey shuddered. She could feel every emotion that Dawson had been feeling when he had yelled those words at her. Grief, shock, loneliness, disbelief, anger. Then it was gone and Joey felt herself falling further; unable to stop herself from plummeting into the abyss beneath her.

"Ever have one of those days you wish you could live all over again?"

Joey felt her feet connect with something solid and she grunted as she crumpled to whatever was serving as the bottom of her hole. She could not see anything and it was so cold that she started shivering uncontrollably.

"I-I hate this. I hate all of this. God. I hate you for kissing me and forcing me to figure out what it all means, Pacey. And I hate you Dawson, for-for forcing me to make a choice between our friendship and what I might have had with him. And I hate myself. I mean, I wish we could go back to the way it was, I wish I could take it all back but I can't. Nothing is worth going through all this. No one person is worth this. Neither of you, and especially not me."

Joey closed her eyes and tried to keep her composure as her own emotions came rolling back to her. She had been so angry at Dawson for acting like such a child and she had been angry at Pacey for making her feel what she felt but most importantly, she had been angry at herself for breaking up their life-long friendship. And it had just gotten worse.

If it weren't for Dawson, could you ever love me like that?

Like what?

Like a soul mate?

Joey bit her lip forcefully, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to overflow, and tasted blood. She felt Pacey's despair, his loneliness and his undying love for her. It was almost too much for her to bear. Then music drifted down to her in the darkness, hauntingly familiar music, that made Joey gasp.

Then Joey heard Pacey's whispered words.

"I remember everything."

Joey lost it. She began to cry uncontrollably as sobs wracked her body and echoed in the darkness. She cried for Dawson and their lost friendship. She cried for Dawson and Pacey's severed bond. She cried for Pacey and all the pain that he had suffered at her hands. She cried for all the pain she had inflicted on everyone around her, for the pain that she had inflicted upon herself and for the love that she had let slip away.

Bessie heard Joey sobbing but knew it was useless trying to comfort her. As she scrubbed the refrigerator she noticed a slip of paper stuck there with a smiley face magnet. Bessie immediately recognized Joey's handwriting and ripped the note off the fridge.

Bess,

I don't really know how to say this except to tell you the truth. I'm leaving for the summer…with Pacey. I love him and this is the only way that I can prove it to him. We're sailing to Key West. I'll check in every time we dock. I promise to be good. Please don't be angry with me. Give Alex a kiss for me every day.

Love, Jo

"Jen."

"Bessie! Did she come out," Jen asked, jumping to her feet.

"No but I found something." Bessie handed the note to Jen who read it silently.

"Oh wow," she said softly.

"Yeah," Bessie agreed.

"Well, has there been any change at all?"

"No. I can hear her crying now but I can't do anything."

"I'm so sorry Bessie. I wish that there was something more I could do."

"Jen, you've done more than enough already," Bessie said earnestly. "Just by caring and by being here."

Jen gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you for saying that."

Joey had ceased crying long ago. Now she just sat in the void, her heart heavy, her nose stuffy, her head aching, shivering from the cold and disturbed by the eerie silence. As if someone had heard her a babble of voices suddenly rushed towards her.

"You never ask me to stay. Ever."

"I can't give you a reason to stay."

"I remember everything."

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

"You keep looking. You'll find it."

"'True Love'?"

"In the strangest of places."

"It's just something I've been meaning to tell you. Uh, look, uh…Joey?"

"Don't you ever get tired of talking?"

"I felt it."

"The only reason you don't have the answers is that you've been too scared to ask yourself the right questions."

"It's over, isn't it?"

"This is you. It's not showy or gawdy…it's simple. Elegant. Beautiful."

"It's unfinished, just like us."

"…it's your turn to stare now."

"I don't even get a good-bye?"

The voices began to blur together as they increased in volume. Joey covered her ears and tried to run but she could not escape them. Finally Joey threw her head back and screamed: "I LOVE HIM!"

Joey jerked upright. She was in her room, on her bed, sweaty and shivering. The voices had stopped and she was alone.

Bessie and Jen were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace drinking coffee when they heard Joey scream. Both of them jumped up, startled.

"Did you hear that," Bessie asked Jen.

"Yeah. You?"

"Uh-huh. Did you understand what she said?"

"No. Did you?"

"No."

Bessie started towards Joey's room but Jen stopped her. "I think we should leave her alone."

"But-but something could have happened to her," Bessie stuttered.

"No. I don't think so. I just think that she's sorting stuff out. Trust me, when I need to sort through shit I usually end up screaming myself. Then I feel much better."

Bessie looked at the younger girl for a moment then nodded. "You're right."

They sat back down on the sofa and stared at the fire. They were both so deep in thought that they did not notice Joey come into the room until she was standing right in front of them. When they saw her Bessie and Jen jumped up and wrapped their arms around Joey.

Joey finally managed to untangle herself and stared at them. "GUYS!"

Jen looked at her expectantly. "Want some coffee?"

Bessie, Joey and Jen sat at the kitchen table drinking steaming cups of coffee. No one had said a word. Joey was staring off into space with an unreadable expression on her face.

"I'm sorry," she finally said.

"For what," Bessie asked quickly, not wanting to miss her chance to talk to her sister.

"For scaring you. I never meant to."

Bessie smiled shakily. "Well, you did. But we know you didn't mean to. Right, Jen?"

"Of course," Jen agreed.

Joey nodded thoughtfully. "How long was I in there?"

Jen and Bessie glanced at each other.

"You don't know how long you were there," Bessie asked cautiously.

Joey shook her head. "I wasn't there."

Jen and Bessie looked confused. "What do you mean you weren't there," Bessie demanded.

"My body was there but my mind wasn't. I was spiraling down these rabbit holes that took me through events of my life. Every time I would get out of one I found myself in a different one."

Bessie's jaw dropped. "Jo, are you sure you're okay?"

Jen nodded. "I understand. I've been there myself."

Joey gave her a strained smile. "Yeah. I bet you have."

Bessie was looking at both of them now with an incredulous look on her face. "Huh?"

Jen laughed. "Bessie, Joey took a voyage inside her head."

Bessie nodded but still looked a little perplexed. "Oh." Then it dawned on her. "Oh. Okay."

Joey looked at her sister. "It was so weird."

"Well, I'm just glad that you're out."

"But that's just it. I'm not."

Bessie gaped at her. "What do you mean Jo?"

"I'm not in a trance or anything like that…but no matter what I do I'm always going to be reliving those moments that I saw."

"But you can't help that," Bessie stated.

"I know, but it's not over."

Jen nodded her head in understanding. "It's never over Joey. But, those memories are what you make of them." She paused. "Joey, he'll be back."

Joey stared at her. "How can you be so sure? What if something happens to him and he never knows how I feel about him? How am I going to live with the knowledge that I could have told him how I felt and maybe have prevented his death?"

"I don't Joey. You've just got to have faith."

"And this is coming from the queen of atheism?"

"Yeah, I know. It's strange, even to me. But, it's true."

Bessie went around the table and gave her sister a hug. "It'll be alright Jo. You'll see."

"Yeah," Jen agreed. 

Joey looked at her for a moment. "Who are you and what have you done with Jen Lindley?"

All three of them laughed at that and felt a little better.

Jen smiled. "I know. What the hell happened to 'bitter Jen'? Well, she finally broke down her walls and let a naïve, but adorable, guy inside her heart."

Joey managed a small smile. "You mean Henry?"

"Yeah."

"You should hear what she did Jo," Bessie added getting up. "Excuse me for a moment."

Joey watched her sister leave and then turned back to Jen.

"I want to talk to you," she blurted.

"Okay," Jen said, a little shocked by Joey's abruptness.

"But not here. Do you think we could get together and talk?"

Jen sighed in relief. "Yeah, sure. But it has to be tomorrow." Jen glanced at her watch. "I have to be at work in about six hours. Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere that no one can find us," Joey said firmly.

Jen nodded thoughtfully. "Okay. I'm sure that I can convince Grams to let me borrow the car…if I tell her why. Is it alright if I tell her?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah. As long as you only tell her the 'have to know' details."

"Agreed. And don't worry Joey. She won't tell."

"I believe that."

There was a comfortable silence between them. Jen inspected the other girl curiously. She looked horrible but something told Jen that Joey was going to be just fine. "Joey?"

Joey looked at her curiously. "Yeah?"

"I'm here for you whenever you need me."

Joey gave her a small smile. "Thank you." She paused for a minute. "And thank you for staying with Bessie. I really didn't mean to scare her."

"I know you didn't. And she knows that too."

Joey nodded thoughtfully. "I have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"Why?"

Jen sighed. "Because, whether you believe me or not, you have become a good friend to me and friends are something that I do not have a lot of."

Joey nodded. "Yeah."

"And I've been down the road that you're going down myself. It took me a long time to get out of it. I don't want you to have to go through the same thing."

"Thank you Jen. You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

Jen nodded. "I think I do. And I think that I would have been a lot better off if I'd had someone to be there for me through all the shit."

Joey nodded. "Yeah. "

Jen glanced at her watch. "I guess I should be getting home."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning." "Yeah. Try and get some sleep and take it easy. Everything will work out. Seven okay with you?"

Joey looked at her, surprised. "You're going to get up that early?"

Jen shrugged. "Sometimes it's worth it. As long as I have my coffee."

Joey smiled. "I'll see you then."

Jen turned towards the door. Joey's voice made her pause.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Joey," Jen said smiling. She paused at the door debating on whether or not she should tell Joey something. Finally she turned back around. "Hey Joey?"

Joey lifted her head off the table and looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Seven hours," she said simply. "I'll see you in the morning," she called over her shoulder as she let herself out.

Joey stared after her for a moment, deep in thought. Maybe she did have a true friend in Jen Lindley.

Bessie came back in the kitchen. "Did Jen leave?"

"Yeah. We're going for a drive tomorrow."

Bessie looked at her curiously for a moment then nodded. "Alright. You want something to eat?

Joey shook her head. "No. " Joey got to her feet and went around the table. She wrapped her arms around her sister and hugged her tightly.

Bessie felt tears sting her eyes as she hugged Joey back. She finally pulled back and gazed at her sister. "If I tell you that you look horrible will you shoot me?"

Joey actually laughed. "No."

Bessie smiled. "Good. You look horrible."

"Gee thanks."

"You should get some sleep."

"Yeah."

"As long as you promise to come back out," Bessie added.

Joey nodded. "I promise."

Jen was true to her word and was standing on the back steps at the Potters at seven on the dot. Joey smiled when she opened the door. Right away Jen noticed that she looked much better.

"What is it," Joey asked curiously.

"You look so much better this morning," Jen said honestly.

Joey rolled her eyes. "That's what Bessie said too."

"You must have got some sleep," Jen commented.

"Yeah. Some. Then I vegetated on the couch for the rest of the day watching Sesame Street with Alex."

Jen smiled. "Good. You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's get out of here."

The two girls walked over to Mrs. Ryan's car and got in quickly. Joey looked over her shoulder as Jen pulled out.

"What is it," Jen asked curiously.

"I was just checking to make sure that Dawson didn't see me."

"Nah. He's already at the restaurant. His parents are still on their honeymoon you know so he's got to wear the pants in the family until they come back next week."

Joey giggled slightly and Jen felt much better about the trip. "So…where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. I don't get out of Capeside very often."

Jen thought for a moment. "There's a huge deserted field out by Highway 20. People stop there all the time and pick flowers, have picnics, stick their feet in the little swimming hole."

"No," Joey said quickly. "I don't want to go there!"

Jen looked at her strangely. Obviously Joey had been there and Jen knew who had brought her without having to ask. "Okay. We could go to the beach. It shouldn't be too crowded this early in the morning. We could sit there and talk as long as you want to. Then we could grab something to eat at one of the little diners on the way back."

"Sure. As long as we don't go to a beach within thirty miles of Capeside," Joey agreed.

"Done," Jen said giving her a smile and turning on the radio.

Joey settled back in her seat and looked out the window thoughtfully as blobs of green blurred by. She felt herself getting sleepy but managed to pry her eyes open when Jen poked her in the arm.

"What," she asked sleepily.

"It's gonna take an hour or so before we get there. Why don't you take a nap? I'll wake you up once we get there."

Joey nodded. "Sounds good. Thanks."

"Yeah."

Joey curled up in the seat and closed her eyes.

It was a beautiful Friday morning. Joey opened her door to see Pacey standing on her doorstep. As soon as he saw her he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Joey melted in his arms for a moment but hastily jumped back as soon as her mind remembered where she was. Pacey looked at her curiously. "Tired of me already Potter?"

"No," she said quickly. "It's just…you never know who could be watching."

"True. Which is why I'm here. I have a surprise for you."

Joey stared at him. "The last time you told me that I ended up sanding your boat."

"I know. But this is different. Just come with me today."

"Pacey I can't just leave," she protested.

"Why not?"

"Well…there is a certain establishment called a high school that we really should attend today."

"Joey," Pacey cajoled moving in closer and nibbling on her ear. "It's Friday. No one ever does anything on Friday's. There is absolutely nothing for you to do except come with me."

Joey wrapped her arms around his neck. "And what if Dawson or Andie or someone else finds out?"

"We won't tell them."

"Don't you think that it would be pretty obvious if both of us missed the day," Joey asked reveling in the feel of his lips on her neck.

Pacey smiled at her. "Joey, I miss school all the time. I'm a slacker. It's expected. And you, just call in sick."

Joey made a grumbling noise. "Uhhh…."

"The only obstacle here is getting by Bessie."

"Bessie's not here," Joey muttered running her fingers through his soft brown hair. "She took Alex up to visit Dad today. Then she said she was going to see Bodie. She won't be back until tonight."

Pacey beamed. "See. Problem averted."

"Pacey…."

"Come on Joey," Pacey said, softly pecking her on the lips. "I promise to be a good boy."

Joey smiled. "Oh…alright. Just let me call the school."

"Great," Pacey said. "And Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"You might want to bring a jacket and your sketchbook."

Joey looked at him curiously but nodded. "Alright."

An hour later Pacey pulled off the highway and onto a tiny dirt road. He stopped the truck by a large oak tree and hopped out. Joey watched him through the back glass as he took something out of the bed of the truck and walked around to the passenger side. Pacey opened the door and helped her out.

"Where are we," Joey asked looking around her in awe. There were huge oak trees lining the road and to the right was a small swimming hole and to the left was a large open field with wildflowers.

"Just a place I heard about and thought you might enjoy," Pacey said softly, taking her hand and leading her to the open field. There was a waist high wire fence and Pacey stepped over it easily. Joey started to hop over it when Pacey reached out, picked her up in his arms and gently hoisted her over the fence. Pacey sat her down but did not let go of her. Joey stared into his eyes unsure of what to say or do.

"So why did you bring me here," she finally asked, afraid that she would get lost in his eyes if she didn't say something.

Pacey started to say something but changed his mind. Instead, he took her hand in his and turned towards the open field. "I wanted to show you this. I was driving back from Boston with Doug and he started talking about this place. Well, I saw it and I knew that you would love it so I had to bring you."

Joey looked at him in surprise. "It's beautiful."

Pacey gazed down at her. "Yeah, it is."

Jen glanced over at Joey as she slept. There was a huge smile on her face and it was obvious that she was having a very good dream. Jen smiled. Maybe when Joey woke up she would be ready to talk.

"Hey Joey," Jen called as she gently shook her.

Joey opened her eyes and looked at Jen. "What?"

"We're here."

"Oh." Joey sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Good dream," Jen asked as she got out of the car.

Joey stared at her for a moment. "Y-yeah. Actually, it was more like a memory."

"Oh. Well, it must have been a great one because you were smiling like you'd just won a year's supply of chocolate."

Joey smiled. "Yeah. Well, it was better than chocolate."

Jen raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything.

Joey hastily got out of the car and stretched. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining down on the water making it shine a beautiful blue. The sand looked warm and inviting. Jen took out a blanket and a cooler from the trunk of the car. "You ready to catch some rays?"

"Yeah."

The two girls spread out the blanket and set the cooler between them. The beach was pretty much deserted this early in the morning and Joey was glad for the quiet. Joey pulled on a pair of shades and stretched out on the blanket. Jen sat down across from her and looked out at the waves that were rolling in.

"How did you know," Joey finally asked, not looking away from the sea.

Jen smiled. She had known this question was coming. "Well…you remember when we all ended up at the Starlight together and Dawson and you walked in on us?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry if I was mean to you. It's just…."

"I know," Jen interrupted. "You don't have to explain it to me."

Joey smiled.

"Anyway, after you stormed out of there and Dawson went after you, Pacey and I had a little chat."

"About what," Joey asked curiously.

"About you."

Joey stared at her. "Go on."

"Joey…Pacey has been in love with you for a long time. Longer than even he realizes."

"Really," Joey asked hopefully.

"Really. Pacey told me that you knew about our little agreement and I asked him what it was about you that made guys flock to you."

"Guys don't flock to me Jen," Joey disagreed shaking her head.

Jen shrugged. "Believe what you want Joey. I've been on the outside looking in for awhile now. They're all drawn to you for some reason. Even Jack and he's gay!"

They both laughed a little at this and looked out at the ocean.

"What did he say," Joey finally asked her.

"He pretended that he didn't know what the hell I was talking about," Jen said with a smirk. "But I knew better."

Joey smiled slightly. "I was such an idiot not to see it."

"No you weren't Joey. You just weren't expecting to find what you were looking for in Pacey 'smartass' Witter."

Joey smiled. "You've got that one right."

There was a comfortable silence between them. "He was really upset that you didn't make it to opening night," Jen finally said.

Joey looked at her guiltily. "Yeah."

"When you started the rally for Principal Green, he was so proud of you. And he was extremely hurt that you didn't even bother to thank him for all the hard work that he did."

"I did," Joey protested.

Jen looked at her.

"Later," she added sheepishly.

"Uh-huh. We had a conversation where he told me that he felt like Duckie from Pretty in Pink."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He said that it hurt that you were with someone else and didn't seem to notice how much he cared. I told him that every duck had its day and that if he didn't believe me that he should ask Henry."

Joey laughed despite the fact that her eyes were misty. "What did he say to that?"

"He smiled at me."

"That was about the same time that he rented the wall," Joey mused.

Jen nodded. "Yeah. I think it was his way of telling you that he thought you could do anything."

"Yeah. Me too. That's got to be one of the sweetest things that anyone has ever done for me."

"Could be. But I have a feeling that he could do a lot more once he gets back."

Joey looked at Jen. "You really think that he'll believe me and we'll be together?"

Jen nodded. "Joey. I know he will."

That seemed to make Joey feel better. She glanced down at the cooler. "So what did you bring to drink?"

Jen smiled. "I got us some Fruitopia. I would have got us some wine coolers…but we have to drive and I can just imagine what Grams would have said if she'd seen them…or if I'd gotten pulled over."

They both laughed at the thought of Mrs. Ryan having to come and bail them out of jail as they opened up a bottle apiece.

"I talked to him when he went over to Dawson's that day," Jen admitted.

Joey looked at her in surprise. "You did?"

"Yeah. He was really nervous."

"What did you tell him?"

Jen fidgeted. "I told him that you wanted to be with him and that you had told me so that morning. He said that he couldn't live without you."

Joey felt a tear slide down her cheek. "He said that?"

"Yeah, he did. Pace said that he was hoping that Dawson would tell him that he'd had his chance at making you happy and that now it was Pacey's turn to try."

Joey choked back a sob.

Jen looked at Joey sadly. "You know Joey. I never meant to spill the beans. Honestly I didn't. I thought that he knew. The way he came over, he seemed upset and I knew that Pacey had went looking for him at the library to tell him and I…." Jen trailed off not sure of what else she could say to apologize.

Joey put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's alright Jen. I don't blame you. It was our own fault. We should have told him right away. I'm just thankful that we both had you to talk to or we would probably be certifiable by now."

Jen sniffled and managed a small smile. "The two of you and me both."

Joey laughed and Jen joined in with her. They lapsed into silence for a few moments. Finally Joey broke it. "When Doug told me that Pacey was leaving I felt so helpless. I had no idea what to do. I was torn between my friendship with Dawson and my love for Pacey. I even told Dawson that if I knew that he could forgive me that I would have chosen Pacey."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That explains it," Jen mused.

"Explains what?"

"Well, I saw you running away from the wedding and Dawson on the dock. Grams and I had just gotten back from our 'Carpe Diem' road trip."

"You're going to have to tell me about this one," Joey said smiling.

"Sure thing. How about over lunch?"

"Sounds good."

"Anyway, Andie, Jack and I went over and tried to cheer him up. I knew that he must have said something to make you leave because you would never have done it unless he had."

Joey stared at her.

"And I don't mean that you're weak Joey," Jen rushed, not wanting Joey to think that she was putting her down. "You're not. I just meant that you already felt so horrible about everything that happened…and the truth is that Dawson is the weakest one of the two. Pacey is the strong one. You and I both know that."

"Yeah," Joey agreed.

"You were doing what you felt that you had to do. I know that and I think that Pacey knows that too. It just doesn't-"

"Make it hurt any less," Joey finished for her."

"Yeah."

Joey turned her gaze back to the water.

"So…what are you going to do about Dawson," Jen finally asked.

Joey's shoulders slumped. "I don't know Jen. I know that I have to face him…I just-I'm not sure what to say to him yet. He's going to think that I changed my mind and that I want him. Well, I mean I do want him…but I want him as a friend. I know that no matter what I say it's going to hurt him even more. I never wanted to hurt him or Pacey either. But, for some reason, I always end up the bitch of the situation."

"Actually, I think that's my job," Jen joked.

"Ha ha. Very funny," Joey said but smiled anyway.

"You'll get through it Joey. And either Dawson will have to respect your decision or you'll just have to face the fact that Dawson is too much of a baby to loose."

Joey looked at her. "Yeah. You're right. But I don't want to loose either of them."

"I know you don't Joey. But sometimes you have to loose in order to gain."

"Now you sound like Bessie," Joey said dryly.

"Don't make me old before my time," Jen pleaded.

They both laughed and lapsed into another long silence.

"Beautiful day huh," Jen commented after about ten minutes.

"Yeah, it is. I wonder what he's doing right about now?"

"Pacey?"

"Yeah."

"Probably going crazy from missing you," Jen said honestly.

Joey glanced at her. "Yeah right. He probably thinks that I don't give a damn about him."

Jen sighed. "Joey, I really don't think that's possible."

Joey shook her head. "Yes it is. He opened his heart to me and practically begged me to ask him to stay. And I couldn't do it. Or, at least, I couldn't do it when he needed me to."

"Joey, you'll get your chance to tell him. Pacey loves you. We both know that. And we both know how Pacey is when he loves someone. It's pretty much a given that his feelings won't change over the summer and that when he gets back you can be waiting on him and tell him everything that you've said to me. He'll look at you with those bright blue eyes of his and give you that goofy grin and all will be forgiven."

Joey gave Jen a teary smile. "I hope you're right." Joey fell into a contemplative silence.

Jen watched the ocean enjoying their newfound closeness. There was something that was on her mind and Jen had to ask. "Hey Joey?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do about your wall?"

Joey's eyes shone with tears and she looked back out towards the sea. "I'm not sure yet Jen. He painted those words with so much love…I hate to erase them…."

Jen sensed that there was more. "But," she prodded gently.

Joey sighed. "I think that Pacey rented that wall for me in order to make me open up myself and express who I really am and what I really feel."

Jen nodded. "I agree."

"Yeah. But every time that I would go to paint it I couldn't find the inspiration. Now I think that I know what it is."

"And what is it," Jen asked already knowing what the answer would be.

"Pacey," Joey said simply. "He is my inspiration. He really believed in me and he was always doing the unexpected. I even told him as much when he showed the wall to me. It was the happiest that I'd seen him in awhile."

"I imagine," Jen commented.

"When he comes back I want him to see that all his love, devotion and strength did not go unnoticed."

"Sounds to me like you already know what you want to paint," Jen told her.

Joey glanced at her. "Yeah. Maybe I do." Joey looked back out at the water.

Jen took another sip of her drink and tried to ignore the fact that her tummy was talking.

Suddenly Joey shot to her feet. Jen looked up startled. "Joey? What the hell?"

Joey looked at Jen with an incredulous expression on her face. "OH! I AM SUCH A MORON! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?"

"Think of what," Jen asked perplexed.

"DOUG," Joey yelled, picking up the blanket with Jen still on it who scrambled to her feet and helped Joey fold it up.

"What about Doug?"

"Doug is Pacey's brother, right?"

"Right," Jen agreed, not really understanding where Joey's rant was going.

"Which means that Pacey would have to check in with him every once in awhile right?"

Jen's eyes grew wide with understanding. "You're right. He would."

"Which means all I have to do is get Doug to let me talk to him," Joey continued as she picked up the cooler. "Let's go," she hollered as she sprinted towards the car.

"Hey Joey," Jen called after her.

"What," she yelled over her shoulder.

"Can we at least stop somewhere and eat? My tummy's starting to talk in Greek, Chinese, American, Japanese…it doesn't care what nationality. It just wants food."

"Sure, as long as I can call the police department from the restaurant," Joey answered as she opened the trunk of the car and shoved the blanket inside. "Hurry up!"

"Okay, I'm coming," she replied. Jen chuckled to herself. She hadn't seen Joey this happy in a long time. I'm so glad I'm not a member of that bitter club anymore Jen thought to herself as she ran to catch up with Joey.

"Damn, damn and triple damn," Joey muttered as she slid onto the seat on her side of their booth.

"Not there," Jen asked as she took a sip of her soda.

"Not only is he not there but he won't be back until mid-July," Joey fumed.

"Why," Jen asked.

"Because he's at this Officer's Training camp or some crap like that."

"Did you tell the deputy you spoke to that it was extremely important that you talk with him," Jen asked as she took a bite of her hamburger.

"Yeah," Joey sighed.

"And?"

"Apparently my 'emergency' was not what the police squad would call an 'emergency'," Joey huffed as she leaned back in the booth.

Jen nodded sympathetically. "You couldn't get a message to him?"

"Apparently they're in seclusion."

"You know what Pacey would say about that," Jen said with a knowing smirk.

Joey nodded and grinned. "Yep. It's the 'Officer's Camp for the Closet-Cases'."

Joey and Jen both snorted with laughter at that and a few of the other customers looked at them annoyed.

Joey placed a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles while Jen mimicked a "shushing" gesture. That got both of them going again until they were both red in the face and gasping for air. Jen took a sip of her soda to calm herself down but only succeeded in choking on the liquid. Joey leaned over and pounded Jen on the back until she had a clear airway.

"You okay," Joey asked settling back in her seat.

"Yeah. I just haven't laughed like that in a long time," Jen admitted.

"Me either," Joey said with a smile.

They ate in silence for a few moments.

"Wow, I didn't realize how hungry I was," Jen commented as she finished off her hamburger.

"I did," Joey snickered. "Every five minutes when your stomach would grumble on the way here."

Jen shot her a look. "Yeah. Like yours wasn't talking."

"I admit I was hungry. That's a good thing right?"

"Oh yeah. That's a great thing. You can't have Pacey come back and see you all skin and bones. That'll just upset him. Besides…Pacey once told me that he likes girls who have a figure."

Joey choked on a fry. "When did he tell you that?"

"The first day I met him."

They both laughed. Pacey's surging hormones had always been a great source for jokes.

"So what are you going to do now," Jen asked once they had calmed down.

"I'm going to wait for Doug to get back. Then I'm going to pounce on him," Joey said with an evil grin.

"And the wall?"

"I'm going to paint it."

Jen nodded approvingly. "And Dawson?"

Joey sighed. "Give me a few more days on that one."

"What about Jack and Andie?"

"Well, I know that Jack will understand but Andie…" Joey trailed off.

Jen gave Joey's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Andie understands. I talked to her the other day on the phone when we were discussing what to do about Dawson. She'll always love Pacey but she's accepted the fact that he loves you."

"Really," Joey asked hopefully.

"Yeah."

"Whew. That's a relief."

"So when are you going to see them?"

"Tomorrow," Joey decided as she finished off her last fry.

"You want me to come with you?"

Joey smiled. "Thanks but this is something I need to do on my own."

Jen nodded. "I completely understand." 

Joey looked out the window and watched as a semi drove by. Then she turned back to Jen. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

Jen smiled. "Joey, you are more than welcome."

Joey smiled too. "You know I think that this could be the beginning of a wonderful friendship."

"So do I."

"Who would have thought it huh? The bitch from the wrong side of the creek and the bimbo from New York becoming great friends?"

Jen snorted laughter. "Well it just proves that stuff happens in the strangest of places."

Joey's eyes clouded over for a moment and Jen realized that she must have said something to remind Joey of Pacey.

Joey's eyes cleared and she grinned at Jen. "You're right. It does happen in the strangest of places but you know what?"

"What?"

"I couldn't be happier that it did."

"Me too."

Joey picked up her soda. "So. Tell me about this 'Carpe Diem' rode trip you went on."

Jen rolled her eyes. "Oh man. You should have seen me. I acted like a complete dork…."

Jen dropped Joey off at her house. "I'll call you tomorrow," Jen said before driving off.

"Okay Jen. Thanks again."

"Thank you Joey. It was a great day."

Joey watched Jen drive off then went inside.

Bessie was sitting on the couch waiting on her. "Hey," she said as Joey came in, sat down next to her and placed her head on her sister's shoulder. "How did it go?"

"Really, really well Bess. I think that Jen and I are going to be great friends."

"That's wonderful Jo. I'm glad."

"Me too."

Bessie wanted to ask her if she had decided anything but wasn't sure how to phrase the question.

Joey sensed that Bessie wanted to say something and looked at her. "What is it Bess?"

"I was just wondering if you had decided what you were going to do about Dawson…and Pacey."

Joey smiled. "Well, not to worry dear sister. I have it all planned out…well, mostly planned out."

Bessie's eyebrows rose. "Well don't keep me in suspense. Share!"

Joey sat up and looked at her sister with a glint in her eyes that Bessie had not seen in a long time. "I tried to contact Doug because he has to know when Pacey docks and all."

"True."

"But, unfortunately for me, he's at an officer's training camp for over a month and I can't get a message to him. So, I'm going to have to wait until he gets back to talk with him…and get him to let me talk to Pacey when he calls."

"Sounds like a good plan," Bessie mused. "And what about Dawson?"

Joey sighed. "Well, I'm going to talk to Jack and Andie tomorrow. Then I'm going to see Dawson. I'm not positive what I'm going to say to him yet but I'm sure that whatever I say is going to hurt him."

"You can't help that Jo," Bessie commented.

"I know. I've accepted that Bess," Joey agreed, getting up and pacing around the living room. "So, I'm just going to tell him everything that is in my heart and hope that he can still be my friend. And…if he can't…then I'm just going to have to deal with that fact."

"Sounds like you've thought a lot about this."

"I have Bess. When I took that trip inside my head I sorted out a lot of things…and I found something that I had been trying to find for a long time."

"And what was that," Bessie asked, curious.

"I found my inspiration," Joey said with a grin. "And his name is Pacey Witter."

Joey wrung her hands nervously before she rang the McPhee's doorbell. Footsteps echoed in the hallway and the door opened.

"JOEY," Jack exclaimed as he stared at her.

"Hey Jack," Joey said smiling at him, already feeling at ease.

Jack picked her up and hugged her. When he sat her down he looked at her curiously. "Are Pacey and you back already?"

Joey shook her head. "Jack. Can we sit outside and talk?"

"Sure," Jack said, closing the door. They sat down on the doorsteps together. Jack looked at her expectantly.

Joey cleared her throat. "Well, as you know, I ran after him…but I was too late."

Jack's face fell. "Oh Joey. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm kind of glad that it happened. I got the chance to really dig down inside of myself and find what I needed."

Jack smiled. "Well, in that case, I'm glad that you found what you were looking for."

"Me too."

"So, what are you going to do now?"

Joey filled him in on her plan and he smiled. "Sounds like a winner to me."

Joey smiled. "You think it'll work?"

"Yeah. I do."

They lapsed into a friendly silence. Finally Joey broke it.

"Jen told me about the trip," she said softly.

A wave of pain flashed across Jack's face but he covered it quickly. "Yeah well…I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

Joey put an arm around him. "Jack I am so proud of you."

Jack managed a smile. "Thanks Joey."

"And you know what," Joey said with an evil glint in her eyes.

"What?"

"Ethan doesn't know what the hell he's missing."

Jack scoffed. "Sure."

"One day he's going to be kicking himself all the way to Tibet and back when he realizes that he missed out on the best gay man that there ever was."

Jack's smile was genuine this time. "Thanks Joey. I needed that."

"Anytime Jack," Joey said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Anytime."

Joey cautiously knocked on the door to Andie's room. Jack had told her that Andie was repainting it. "Yeah," came Andie's response over the loud music.

Joey opened the door and stepped inside. Andie looked up from where she was crouched painting and dropped her roller. "JOEY! What are you doing here," she asked astonished.

"Turns out I missed the boat," Joey said softly.

Andie picked up her roller and sat it on top of the paint bucket. Then she turned down the music and sat down on her bed, patting the place next to her. Joey sat down on the plastic covered bed and looked at Andie. Andie didn't look upset with her and seemed genuinely sorry that Pacey had left without Joey.

"Joey, I'm sorry," Andie began

. "No, I'm sorry Andie. I never meant to hurt you or anyone else. It just happened. Pacey and I…just happened. We never intended to hurt anyone…especially the people that mean the most to us. Dawson…You…." Joey trailed off and sniffled at the tears that had somehow managed to form despite her efforts not to let them.

Andie put an arm around Joey's shoulders and hugged her. "Oh Joey. I know that. And I have to admit that I was very hurt and angry when I found out. But, now that I've had time to think about it, I realize that I lost Pacey a long time ago. You didn't take him away from me. I did that all on my own. I didn't realize how wonderful a guy I had and how much he loved me or how much I loved him until it was too late. I'm the one who caused our relationship to end. It was not Pacey or you or anyone else. It was all me and I've accepted that fact. And it does hurt to know that the man I love is in love with someone else, but-but I know that it is meant to be."

Joey had started crying and she looked up at Andie in surprise. "What?"

"Joey, I know that Pacey loved me…but I think that he's loved you ever since he met you and he just didn't realize it…or didn't want to realize it. And vice versa." Andie looked at her pointedly.

"Maybe you're right," Joey said softly.

"I think I am." Andie sighed. "And that's alright. I mean, sure, it will take some time to get used to seeing the two of you together but I'll be happy because he's happy and Joey, he's happiest when he's with you. I can see that now. I understand it and I respect it. Love is a wonderful thing." Andie paused and brushed away a tear that trickled down her cheek. "To love a man like Pacey and to have his love in return…that's one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given me and I will always be thankful for that."

Joey looked at Andie with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry Andie."

Andie waved a hand. "Don't worry about it Joey. I don't blame you. I mean…how could you not love Pacey? Even when he is being a dog?"

Andie smiled at her and Joey smiled back as they remembered the conversation they'd had heading back from the Valentine's Day party.

"I must have subconsciously known it, even then," Andie observed.

"Yeah."

"Can I give you a piece of advice Joey?"

"Sure."

"Don't let him go. Pacey's not the type of man that sticks around for stupid women to come back to him when they realize what they're missing. The smart women snag them before the stupid women can get smart enough to realize their mistake."

"Don't worry Andie. I have no intentions of ever letting him go."

Andie nodded for a moment as they both wiped at their eyes. Then she wrapped Joey up in a warm hug. Joey hugged her back and felt her tears spring up again. "Thank you Andie," she whispered.

Andie was crying again too. "Thank you Joey," she replied. "For loving him. And for caring enough about me to come and talk to me. It means a lot."

"You mean a lot to me Andie. I never want to loose your friendship," Joey choked out.

"You won't Joey," Andie said hugging her tighter. "You won't."

They stayed on the bed, hugging, crying and comforting each other for a long time. Finally Joey pulled back and wiped at her cheeks. Andie reached over and picked up a box of tissue off the nightstand and offered her one.

"Thanks," Joey said taking one and blowing her nose.

"One of the top ten things that every girl needs," Andie replied as she blew her own nose. "A lifetime supply of Kleenex."

Joey laughed and Andie joined her. Andie got up and walked back over to her paint bucket and picked up an extra roller. "You feel like helping a friend paint her room?"

Joey smiled. "You bet," she said taking the offered roller and dipping it in the paint.

Andie grinned and turned the music back up. "So…I know you have a plan," she began as they started painting. "So, why don't you tell me what it is?"

Joey nodded. "Alright."

By the time Joey left the McPhee's late that afternoon she felt much better. Andie and Jack had each given her a hug and promised not to tell Dawson that she was home. She would see him tomorrow. Tired, but relieved, Joey trudged towards home, looking forward to a hot shower and quality time with Bessie and Alex.

Bessie laughed when she saw the state that Joey was in. "What happened Jo? Andie dump a bucket of paint on you?"

Joey grinned. "Not exactly. Everything's fine. I was helping her paint her room and we kind of got into a paint fight…."

Bessie nodded. "Man those were the days, huh Bodie?"

Bodie stuck his head out of the kitchen. "You got that right." He kissed Bessie quickly. "I've got to get over to the restaurant."

"Okay."

"See you Joey."

"Bye Bodie."

Once Bodie had left Bessie turned to Joey. "Did you see Dawson?"

"No. I'm saving that visit for tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, good luck."

"Thanks." Joey pulled her hair out of its ponytail. "I'm going to get a shower then maybe we could get something to eat and play with Alex for a little while?"

Bessie smiled. "Sure."

"Great," Joey said feeling better than she had in a long time.

Late that night Joey sat in her room with her sketchbook open in front of her. She knew what she had to do. Joey thumbed through it until she found an empty page and picked up her pencil. Maybe this would show Dawson how much he meant to her.

Two hours later she put the pencil down and looked at the final results. It didn't look bad at all. Joey went to her closet and took out a frame that she had bought with the intent of putting a picture of the six of them in it. She would use it for this important gesture instead. Joey easily slipped the sketch in the frame and closed it up. She sat it on her dresser and looked at it for a moment. She had sketched a picture of Dawson, Pacey and she as they had been. A time when everyone was friends and there was no jealousy, anger or hurt. It was a sketch of the three of them with their arms around each other, laughing. Satisfied with her work, Joey quickly wrapped up the picture and put it on her shelf for tomorrow.

Once that was done, Joey sat cross-legged on her bed and rummaged through her sketchbook. She turned the page to one sketch and stared. It was one of the sketches she had done during Pacey and she's visit to the field. It was a picture of Pacey laying down in the wildflowers, sleeping peacefully. He had never known that she'd drawn it and she had kept it hidden from everyone. Looking at it now, Joey felt all the love and warmth that she had felt that day come seeping back into her.

Pacey spread out the blanket and lay down on it. He patted the spot next to him. "Come on Potter," he said softly. "Lay down with me and check out this beautiful sky."

Joey dropped her sketchbook on the ground and curled up next to him. Pacey wrapped his arms around her and sighed contentedly. This was the only thing that he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He started to tell her so but knew that it was not the right time. Instead he just held her and gazed up at the incredibly blue sky thankful for the time that he could spend with her. "Isn't the sky gorgeous?"

"Yeah," Joey replied, snuggling against his chest. "It's exactly the color of your eyes."

Pacey looked at her, startled. "Are you telling me that my eyes are 'gorgeous'"?

Joey blushed but didn't look away. "They are Pacey. So clear and blue and…," Joey trailed off and looked away. "Hey Witter. I see you over there," Joey commented, pointing to a cloud. "You're the big dopey dog."

Pacey glared at her and pretended to be hurt. "Jo, I'm shocked! How could you call me a dog?"

Joey smiled and pinched his cheek playfully. "You are…but you're a loveable one."

Pacey felt his heart beat speed up and glanced back at the sky. "Hey Potter. I think I see you up there."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You're the one to the far right," Pacey pointed his finger in the direction of the cloud. "The witch riding the broomstick."

Joey smacked him on the arm.

"Oww."

"Serves you right for calling me a witch," Joey said laughing as she kissed his cheek.

Pacey reached out and touched her face. "You must be one Jo."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you've bewitched me," he said softly, looking deeply into her eyes, showing her everything that was inside him with that look.

Joey shuddered but could not look away from his intense gaze. "Pacey…" she began only to be cut off by his lips brushing softly against hers. Joey melted into his kiss, never wanting it to end. Pacey's kisses made her weak in the knees and lightheaded. When he finally released her mouth Joey gazed at him. "What was that for," she asked breathlessly.

"For being you," he replied, stroking her cheek softly.

Joey nodded and lay her head on his chest. "Thank you Pacey," she mumbled against his shirt.

"For what," he asked as he held her tightly.

"For giving us this day."

"You're welcome Jo."

They lay there until both of them had fallen asleep. Falling asleep in Pacey's arms had been a wonderful experience. She'd felt safe and loved. When Joey woke up he was still asleep. He was beautiful when he was sleeping. Joey reached over Pacey and picked up her sketchpad, working silently for an hour as she sketched him. She had just finished the sketch and was lying next to Pacey on the blanket, gazing at him when he woke up.

"How long you been awake," he asked softly, running a hand through her hair.

"Not long," she lied, not wanting to tell him that she had watched him sleep.

"What time is it?"

"Three o'clock."

"You ready to head home?"

"No. I want to stay here a while longer, if that's okay?"

Pacey smiled. "It's fine with me Jo," he murmured. There were so many things that he wanted to tell her but couldn't quiet utter. So instead of pouring out his soul, he kissed her again.

Joey wrapped her arms around him and lost herself in the man that was Pacey Witter and the day that was theirs.

Joey closed the sketchbook and brushed the tears off her cheeks. If only she had told him how she felt then, maybe things would be different. But, she was not going to let herself worry about that now. She would get her chance soon enough.

The next day was bright and sunny. Joey took a deep breath and got in her boat to cross the creek, the sketch on the seat next to her. The first thing Joey noticed when she got to Dawson's was that the ladder was still there. Maybe that was a good sign. Joey stuck the package under her arm and slowly climbed the ladder.

Dawson had been sitting in his chair all morning trying to think. So far, he had not managed to figure out much other than the fact that he had screwed up big time and he could not quiet figure out how he'd done it. What had he done to loose his two best friends in the world? How in the world had they fallen in love with each other when they couldn't stand one another? Nothing was making sense to Dawson and he was seriously wondering if it ever would. A noise from the window caused him to look up and his eyes widened when Joey Potter came climbing through it. Dawson jumped to his feet. "JOEY!"

Joey gave him a lop-sided grin. "Hey Dawson."

Dawson started to run towards her and hug her but she held up her hand. "Dawson…don't. It's not what you think."

Dawson lowered his arms and stared at her. "Then what is it?"

Joey sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I missed him Dawson. I saw him sail off but I just missed him."

"Oh." He paused. "Well, maybe it was a sign."

"Yeah, it was. But it wasn't the kind of sign that you're thinking about."

"Okay. Then what kind of sign was it that has you here in my room with me instead of out on the boat with Pacey."

Joey rolled her eyes. "Dawson, I think I was meant to miss that boat in order to straighten my life out, figure out everything that I want, know how to get it and try not to loose everyone that I care about in the process. So far I've managed to salvage everything except the relationships of the two men that I hold closest to my heart. Pacey…and you."

Dawson looked at her but didn't say anything.

Joey stood up and began pacing around his room as she spoke. "Dawson, I know that this is hard for you to hear and it's just as hard for me to say it." Joey paused. "I love Pacey. I'm in love with him Dawson. I couldn't prevent it. It happened. Neither of us meant for it to happen but it did. It took me a long time to realize it and to stop being afraid of it. I was afraid of love because I've always gotten hurt. But with Pacey, he never hurt me. It was something new and it was something that I wasn't expecting and it scared the hell out of me. But I'm not afraid of it anymore Dawson. Pacey made me see a whole world that I had been missing out on."

"Are you saying that it was my fault," Dawson asked defensively.

"NO! I'm not saying that at all Dawson. What I'm saying is that maybe we never really gave each other a chance. And I'm sorry for that. But, when I did try to recapture what we had and to try and have a relationship with you, you pushed me away. And that really hurt me Dawson and no matter how hard I tried to recapture what we had or what I thought we had I couldn't. Our relationship failed because of both of us Dawson. You and I both know it too. No one else ruined it for us. We did it all on our own." Joey felt tears trickle down her face but didn't stop talking. She had to get all of this out before she lost her nerve. "But the really scary thing is that I think we were meant to fail."

"What," Dawson asked, shocked that she would say such a thing.

"I think that we were meant to fail because it opened us up to a whole world of possibilities. And I think that if we can ever get through the pain of our failure that we will be closer for it."

"Joey, I love you," Dawson choked out, feeling tears of his own sliding down his cheeks. "I want to be with you."

Joey shook her head. "No, you don't Dawson. We are best friends and I think that is what we were always meant to be. And I think that the only reason that we held on to each other so tightly was that we were both afraid to let go. We were afraid to let go of our safety net and throw caution to the wind and find what we were looking for." Joey went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "But, I'm not like that anymore Dawson. I've let go of the safety net and I have fallen head over heels in love with Pacey and I'm not sorry that I did. I am sorry that it hurt you and a lot of other people but I will never be sorry for the fact that I found what I was looking for. "

"Joey," Dawson whispered. "I'm not ready to let you go. I know that what I said on the dock the other day was-"

"It was very selfless of you Dawson but you only said it because you thought that I would come back to you. And I have…just not in the way that you wanted me to." Joey walked back over to the bed and picked up the package that contained her sketch and handed it to him. "This is for you," she told him placing the package in his hands.

"What is it," he asked, looking at her with sad eyes.

"It's something that I'll let explain itself." Joey leaned over and kissed Dawson lightly on the cheek. "When you're ready to let go and come back to me as my best friend you know where I'll be." Joey turned towards the window and started to stick her foot through the opening when she turned back around. "If you can't do that then this really is good-bye. I've come out of my abyss Dawson. Now it's your turn." Joey gave him a small smile and then hoisted herself out the window and climbed down the ladder. She dropped to the ground and let out a huge sigh of relief. She felt like a gigantic burden had been lifted off of her shoulders and she was so weak with relief that she sank to the grass. Joey ran her hands through her hair and felt her tears flowing again. She cried for the pain that she knew she had inflicted on Dawson and she cried for the best friend that she hoped would return. When Joey had calmed down and regained her strength she got up, walked back towards the dock, got in her boat and paddled back towards home.

Dawson watched her go from his window then looked down at the package in his hands. He opened it carefully and stared at the picture that fell out. It was a beautiful sketch. Dawson could tell that Joey had drawn it. It was Pacey, Joey and himself walking together with their arms around one another, laughing at something that couldn't be seen. The frame was silver with the words "Friends Forever" etched on it. Dawson stared at the sketch for a moment then felt his tears start to flow once again. Dawson sank to his bed, the sketch against his chest and cried violently for everything that had transpired, for everything that would happen, for everything that he had lost and for what he had yet to gain.

Joey sat on her bed with a leather-bound journal in her lap. Pacey had given it to her for Christmas. The funny thing was that she had given him one just like it. Neither one of them had been able to explain what had made the other buy such a gift; especially for someone that obviously had no trouble voicing his/her own opinions. Instead they had accepted the irony of the situation and had a good laugh over it. Sitting here now, Joey realized that it had happened for a reason. Joey opened up the journal to the first page, took out a pen and began to write.

June 1, 2000

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I, Josephine Potter, have finally seen the light. I have found my purpose in life, reconciled relationships that I thought unsalvageable, and formed a plan for a second chance at my destiny. I know that this sounds crazy but I promise that I'm not certifiable…yet. For a long time I was dead on the inside. Then, this wonderful man showed me what I've been missing and gave me everything that I have been searching for.

I am delighted to denounce my pessimistic belief that fate is unkind and that true love might not exist for me. After all, I thought that I had found it once…but I hadn't. I had found true friendship and there is a big difference between true love and true friendship. Fate is a master of disguise but it always shows you the way. But Fate only takes you so far. After that, the rest is up to you.

True love does exist and I have found it in the most unexpected place of all. Pacey Witter. I have finally swum out of the abyss that has been my life and I have a feeling that I'm going to have a hell of a journey ahead of me. And the best part of it all is that I'm not afraid.

Joey closed the journal with a slight smile on her face. She set it on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. She needed her rest because tomorrow she had to decide what to do with her wall.