If I Was The One
Part 8: If...
by Steph and Sophia

Disclaimer: We are not and have never claimed to be the creators of the characters portrayed here.  We just wanted Pacey and the others to come out to play.  Lyrics contained here are by Ruff Endz.  We don’t own those either.

Background:  We began writing this after season 4 ended.  For the purposes of the story, everything that happened on the show happened in our story.  The only difference is that Andie did NOT defer Harvard.

Summary:  Basically this is our version of season 5.  Jen finds a 3-bedroom apartment in Boston and invites Joey, Andie, Jack, and Drue to room with her.  All is good until Joey finds out that Pacey is the sixth roommate.

Rating:  NC-17 for, you know, the good stuff.

Author’s note:  We enjoyed writing this fic so much.  As always, we must send some love to the girls (and haze) at Pacey’s Pond because they encouraged us all along the way.  Thanks for your words of praise.

If I was the one who was loving you, baby
The only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.

And if I was by your side,
you'd never know one lonely night.
And if it was my arms you were running to,
I'd give you love in these arms of mine.

If I was the one...in your life.

If I could have just one wish,
I'd wish that you were mine.
I would hold you here,
kiss away those tears.
I'd be so good to you, baby.

Pacey helped Joey up and led her towards the bathroom.  When she entered, she saw candles lit in every available space.  The tub was filled with fragrant bubbles and soft rose petals.  Joey sighed at the sight of it all.  “Pacey,” she breathed.

“Get undressed.  I’ll be back.”

Joey was easing herself into the tub when Pacey returned carrying two glasses of wine.  He smiled at her and handed her a glass.  “I think you have too many clothes on,” she commented.

Pacey looked down at himself and then back at Joey.  “You want me to join you?”  Joey nodded.  “Oh yes.”  Joey watched as Pacey stripped off his still damp clothes.  Joey still couldn’t believe they had jumped in the lake with all their clothes on.  It felt good to be so wild and free.  Joey smiled as she surveyed his body.  No man had ever made her feel like this.  The sight of him caused a tingling sensation that started between her legs and radiated through her entire body.  She admired his golden-colored skin, his muscle definition and especially the erection he was sporting.

He moved to sit behind her in the tub.  His large hands moved all over her body as Joey leaned back and let her full weight rest against him.  His fingers skimmed along her thighs, her arms, and her shoulders.  Pacey massaged her neck and nipped at her earlobes.  She loved the way his hands felt on her breasts.  The soft bubbles caused his hands to slide over and under and between them with ease.  He captured her nipples with his fingers as she cried out in ecstasy.  She wanted him…now.

After soaking in the tub for an hour or so, they moved to Pacey’s bedroom.  Pacey extinguished the candles that Joey didn’t take with her.  When he sauntered into his room carrying the glasses of wine, he was surprised to find Joey on his bed wearing absolutely nothing.

Her hair was damp and her toes were pruned, but he thought that she had never looked more beautiful.  Pacey joined her on the bed and handed her a glass of wine.  The two of them lay facing each other, elbows propping them up, sipping wine and sharing delicious kisses.

“I want you, Pacey.  I want to make love to you.”

“Do you think we’re ready?” Pacey asked gently.

“Do you love me?” she asked back.

“More than anything in this whole world.”  He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and caressed her face.  “I love you.”

Joey kissed his lips and then pulled back just enough to breathe, “I love you.”

***************

"I love the sun!" Andie sighed having a sip of her orange juice.  She was sitting on a deck chair in the patio of their house and enjoyed the wonderful day, which was so different from Boston.

"What?" Ben took her hand into his as he was sitting in the next chair, reading.

"I said, I love the sun.  It reminds me of Italy."

"If I hear the word Italy one more time…"

"You'll do what?" Andie joked with him.

"I'll have to find a way to make this year even better."  He lifted a little and quickly kissed her.  "I'm so lucky you decided not to defer Harvard after all."

"Well, yeah. I mean, it WAS Harvard."

Ben was preoccupied.  "Don't you think it a little odd that you've been to Italy but not New York?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, New York is beautiful, especially the summer.  The people stop being so hasty and you can see them picnic in the park…"

Andie stopped him with a kiss. "You don't have to sell New York to me, honey. I'd love to come."

"Hmm, hmm," Jack cleared his throat as he stepped at the patio.

"Hey, little brother," Andie giggled releasing her boyfriend.

"Tobey and I are going for a walk at the beach.  Want to join us?"

"Sure," she answered jumping up from her chair with her usual energy.  "I'm tired of doing nothing.  Where's Drue and Jen?"

"They're in their room as you left them."  Tobey jumped in putting his arm around Jack's shoulders.  "I wonder what they do there all day."

"That won't do!" Andie said loudly.  "They must come with us.  I'll go get them."

***************

"Aaaah, the sea air…" Jen danced around in the sand.  She was a little red by the sun and her hair seamed even more light-colored.

"You wouldn't have enjoyed the air if I didn't get in there and dragged you out of bed!" Andie grinned.

"What?  We were tired!"

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

They all started laughing.  An unusual air of happiness floated around.  Jen couldn't remember the last time she was so happy.  All her past ghosts seemed gone in that beautiful day.
 
"What are you thinking?"  Drue put his arms around her waist in a big hug making her stop walking.

"That I'm happy,” she answered seriously.

"This is all your doing, you know that?" he whispered in her ear.  "You did all this by making us stay all together this year."

Jen smiled.

"You enjoying this, aren't you?" he continued.  "You enjoy being so right.  You should be punished.  Attack!" he yelled, starting to tickle her.  Pretty soon everyone joined the game making the elderly people passing by to turn and look at them.

"Okay, okay. I surrender!" Jen said out of breath, sitting on the sand.

"By the way, why was that for?" Jack asked sitting next to her.

"You attacked me for no reason at all!" Jen punched him in the arm lightly.

"Hey, I didn't start this, he did."  He pointed at Drue.

"I don't want this day to end." Andie pointed out happily.

"I wonder what Pacey and Joey are doing," Tobey said.

They all looked at each other.
 
"I think I've got a pretty good idea of what they've been doing."  Jen smiled cunningly.
 

***************

"I love pizza."  Andie remarked putting a huge slice on her plate.

"You love everything," her brother teased her.

"Hey!"

"Aren't we disgusting?" Jen stated, looking around the table.   "We look like romantic comedies characters when everything turns out well at the end.  We are all so… content!"

"Or those lame high school shows where everyone finds the perfect significant other at the end."

"Yeah, look at us!  We are all dating.  We take trips to Florida, we do good at school, we are in cheesy love story."

"I love cheesy love stories."

"Andie, if you say that you love something one more time I'll throw something at you."

"The truth is, " Jen said putting her hand on Drue's knee next to her, "that I love cheesy love stories too."

***************

"Let me ask you something," Drue asked Jen as they both were lying on the bed and he was stroking her belly under her T-shirt.  "Did you plan for this to happen?  Did you like me back then and that's why you asked me to move in with you?"

She shifted her body closer to him and toughed his cheek.  "I may have been in love back then but I didn't know it,” she answered seriously.  "I just wanted to know you better.  I felt that I could help you as Grams and all my friends helped me a while back.  I knew that under that cynical, bitter face you put out for everyone there was a sweet, loving man, because I was just like that."

He bent a little and kissed her passionately.  "You deserve a reward for that, Jen Lindley."

"I can hardly wait."

“Joey.”  Pacey was making a futile attempt to get Joey’s attention, but she couldn’t seem to stop kissing his neck long enough to listen.  “Jo!  Hey, that tickles.”  Joey pulled back a little and gazed into Pacey’s eyes.  “What’s wrong?  This doesn’t feel good?”

“Mmmm.  Yes, it does.  But I was thinking…”

“Oh no.  Not that.  Pacey!”

“Oh stop.  Come here.”  Pacey took Joey by the hand and led her towards the kitchen.  “Look.”

Joey scanned the counters, sink, and refrigerator.  “What?  You want to do some dishes?”

Pacey chuckled and pulled a naked Joey into his arms.  “No.  Don’t you see?  We’re home,” he paused to kiss her forehead, “we’re alone and we have this whole place to our selves.”

“I know!  So let’s get back to bed.”  Joey turned to head back to Pacey’s bedroom, but Pacey grabbed her waist and pulled her back.

“Why confine ourselves to the bedroom when we can make love all over the house?” he asked suggestively.

“Pace!”  As Joey turned to face him, Pacey moved towards the refrigerator.  He motioned for her to join him on the floor beside him.  She complied as he opened the fridge and began searching.  “Now, close your eyes,” he ordered.

She closed her eyes and felt the cool breeze of the fridge making her nipples hard and tight.  “Now see if you can guess what I’m putting on you,” he told her in his most gruff and sexy tone.

Joey shuddered as she felt him spread a slick, smooth cream being spread over her neck and breasts.  She brought her fingers up to feel it.  Pacey’s mouth began licking the substance from her nipples.  “Give up yet?” he murmured.

Joey nodded and suddenly his lips were covering hers.  Her tongue flicked out and lapped at the creaminess that had her so confused.  She smiled when she realized what was making her feel so good.  “It’s Cool Whip,” she breathed between kisses.

“And how does it taste?”  Pacey moved his mouth back to her neck and focused his attention there.  “On you?  It tastes fabulous.  Let’s see what else would taste good on you.  Close your eyes,” she replied.

Joey placed a hand on Pacey’s smooth chest and pressed him down to lie on the floor.  She reached into the cabinet and removed the next item for their little tasting party.  Pacey felt a warm substance dripping over his chest, stomach, and into his navel.  Joey moved to lean over his body and lap up the thick liquid.  Pacey’s hand wandered to find the swell of Joey’s buttock within his reach.  He caressed her and gasped as she continued to devour him.  His hand found the back of her neck.  In desperation, he pulled her close to him and savored the taste on her lips.

“Hmmm.  You put honey on me.  Damn, you taste so good, Joey.  I just want to eat you up,” he breathed into her mouth.

Her mouth captured his again as their tongues explored.  She pulled back and whispered, “That sounds good…but can I go first?”

Pacey eyes opened widely as he watched Joey descend his body while planting kisses along the way.  All he could do was throw his head back and writhe under as her mouth covered him.  She kissed and sucked and caressed him while watching his face.  She wasn’t sure if she was doing this properly but he seemed to be enjoying it.  Her lips slid up and down the length of him and she smiled because she enjoyed hearing the moans that he couldn’t hold back.

“Oh God, Jo, you are killing me here.”  Joey finally released him and crawled back up his body to face him again.  “I’m killing you?  Hmmm.  It doesn’t sound like you’re dying.  It kind of sounds like you’re having a good time.”

He wrapped her up in his arms and gazed at her sweetly.  “Yeah, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.  But…what a way to go!”  Pacey stared at her incredulously.  “I can’t believe you did that for me.”  Pacey jumped to his feet and gathered Joey up in his arms.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to the living room.  They collapsed on the couch with limbs entwined and mouths exploring.

Pacey situated himself beside her and began skimming his long fingers over her hip and thighs while his mouth took hold of her nipples.  His fingers continued to explore until he found her core.  She allowed him to spread her thighs and caress her inner thigh.  She dug her short fingernails into shoulder as his fingers entered her.  She threw her head back and moaned his name as he brought her to edge and back, over and over.  He smiled as he stroked her, feeling her slickness and knowing that he was the cause of it.

“Pacey?” she gasped.  “Yeah, baby?” he mumbled as her nipple was still trapped between his teeth.  “I want you,” she breathed.  “I want you so much.”  Joey couldn’t take this anymore.  They had waited so long and she could no longer contain the urge to feel him deep inside her.

Pacey released her and on weary legs, she led him to the patio door.  She turned to face him and his arms enveloped her.  “I want to make love to you here,” she whispered.  Pacey was confused.  “In front of the balcony?” he asked.  She looked up at him with expectant eyes.  “No, on the balcony.”

Pacey smiled sweetly back at her.  “Okay, hold on.”  Joey opened the patio door and made herself comfortable on the cushioned chaise lounge.  She looked up to find Pacey exiting the apartment and joining her with a blanket in hand.  “I never knew that you were an exhibitionist, Potter.  This is a most surprising change of events.”

Joey blushed and tilted her head.  “Well, I think that this whole evening has been surprising.  Do you blame me for wanting to fulfill a fantasy of mine?”

Pacey pulled her closer and whispered into her ear, “And what would that be?”

Joey’s lips grazed his smooth neck while she breathed, “My fantasy is to make love to the man of my dreams under a beautiful midnight sky filled with stars.  And if you want to know why, it’s because of all the nights on the True Love that summer when I couldn’t sleep.  I would go up to the deck and look at the stars and fantasize about you and me.”

Pacey pulled back to see the expression on her face.  “You wanted me way back then, Jo?”

Joey smiled as she stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.  “I always wanted you, Pacey.  Even when I was too scared to admit it.”

Pacey’s mouth descended upon hers.  He moved to place his body above hers.  He could never remember a time when he had wanted some one as much as he wanted Joey right now.  He gazed at her and admired her sweet face from the glow of the moon above them.  Pacey reached under the chaise and pulled out the protection he had brought with him.  She gazed at him with adoring eyes as he slid inside her and called out her name.

She loved the way he filled her up and made every nerve in her body tingle.  Her fingers raked his chest and gripped his shoulders as he plunged into her again and again.

Two bodies moved under the stars.  Two bodies feeling like one shining star, hot and bright and untouchable by anyone else.  The night air swirled around them as they saw only each other.  The man who refused to live without her and the woman who refused to give up on him.  Long after they had satisfied each other, their bodies lay under the stars, intertwined and clinging.  They knew that no night could ever surpass this one.  It was the most magical time and one that they would never forget.

***************

Pacey looked around him this beautiful day and wondered of how fast time flies when you're happy.  Not even exams managed ruin his excitement the last few months. Actually without even knowing it, he did better this time than the last exams although he divided his time between college, EMT, Joey and… the other things he did.  For the first time in his life he realized that being content about yourself makes you successful in all things.  He knew now that the reasons about which he broke up with Joey a year ago were all wrong.  He had to find himself, for that he was right.  But he didn't have to find himself alone.  He could do it a lot better with her by his side.  Only then he didn't know that.  And he knew now he was never a failure.  Him thinking he was, almost made him one but luckily he had avoided that.  And once more he had found love.

But it was love in a different form.  Back then it was all angst and guilt and trying to reach up to expectations.  Now it was all excitement and relaxation and sex.  Lots of sex. And the surprising part was that it was not him who initiated things.  Joey had turn to this beautiful woman who wasn't afraid to express her needs and desires and who surprised him constantly.  She made him hot.  Hell, he was aroused right now just thinking about it.

But this newfound happiness was also about something more.  Love was floating around him.  It was like a fairy godmother had come down and touched each and every one of them with her magic wand.  Jen and Drue sparked, Andie and Ben glowed and she was supposed to go to New York with him this summer to meet his folks, Jack and Tobey were shamelessly happy, not hiding or restraining anything.  Tobey was a very good influence on Jack, Pacey thought, nodding to himself.

He entered the house touching the pocket of his jacket to make sure that what he'd come out to get was still there.  Assured that he hadn't lost the precious item he grinned broadly and headed on to find Joey.

He emerged to his room (their room now) to find her almost dancing in front of the CD player.  She turned around and smiled at him as pretty as ever with her long hair spreading on her shoulders.  He quickly walked towards her, taking her into his arms, lifting her up into the air.  She embraced him tightly, laughing.  "Do you like the new CD I bought?" she asked him.
 
"Hmm, hmm,” he whispered, as he put her down again gently, brushing her lips with his. She responded to his light touch by cupping his face and giving him a deep, loud kiss.

"Where's everybody?  Want to go out for lunch?" he continued.

"We could do more interesting things, Mr. Witter,” she responded to his ear.

"Come on!  Aren't you hungry?" he smiled.

"Yes, I am," she said seductively lowering her hands and putting the tip of her fingers in his jeans.

"Not now, Potter.  God, woman, don't you ever get tired?  I want to hmmm… give you something."

"What a coincidence, baby, I want to give you something too," she replied continuing her game, releasing one of her hands to touch the curve between his butt and his thigh over his pants.

"You want that, huh?" he said pressing her on him.  He lowered his head and took her into a kiss that let them both breathless.  "Well, you're going to get it.  Later.  Now I have to show you something."

She sighed as she took a step back and shook her head. "You're no fun.  But I'll let it pass this time cause you managed to make me curious.  What is it?"

"Not now.  At lunch.  I want to take you to a special place today.  I've got my final result. I passed all classes, sweetheart."

"I'm not surprised," she said. "I knew you would.  Actually I did too.  So I gave myself the CD as a present and I cooked."

"You cooked?" he asked a little frightened.

"Hey!"  She squeezed his arm. "You're not supposed to act like that.  You're supposed to be grateful."

"I am, I am," he said quickly. "I'm sure it's great.  And if it's not we can always order Chinese."

She glared at him and led the way into the kitchen.  The table was already made for two. "The gang won't come back until later," she stated.  "I promised to cook for us all, but now we're alone."

"Well, then, lets' start.  And when we finish I'll let you know my surprise.”

"I can't stand it Pacey, what is the surprise?" she demanded.

He reached into the pocket of his pants and produced a photograph. Joey picked it up and upon inspection, she replied, "Is this what I think it is?"

He smiled and nodded ever so slightly.

"This is a boat, Pacey."

"No, my dear, that is a ship. And it's our ship, a cruise ship, in fact."

"You're taking me on a cruise?" she exclaimed. Pacey nodded again as she moved to sit in his lap. "Can you afford this?" she asked with concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean I've saved up all year for it. When I first decided that I wanted to go, I figured that it would just be me...but things have changed. What do you say, Potter? You want to sail the seven seas with me again?"

"I would but there's one problem."

"What's that?" he inquired.

"I don't know if I can handle being waited on. I mean a luxury cruise? This is not something I've ever experienced," she noted.

"Well, there's a first time for everything." Pacey pulled Joey into his arms and smiled. "I love you so much. You have no idea."

As she kissed the top of his head, she responded, "I think I do."

***************

Later that evening, Pacey walked into the kitchen expecting to find Joey there.   “Have you seen Joey?” Pacey inquired.

Jen looked over her shoulder as she was toasting a bagel.  “Umm, I think she went out on to the patio.  Is everything okay with you two?” she replied.

“I think so.  I hope so.  Yeah, I think it is.  I just want everything to be perfect for us.”

Jen chuckled as she approached him.  “There is no such thing as perfect, Pacey.  Stuff happens and life throws you curve balls, so it will never be totally perfect…for any of us.”

Pacey rubbed the back of his neck and nodded.  “I know.  I just feel…anxious.  I love Joey so much.  I can’t even fathom losing her again.  And it just seems that we can’t ever get it right,” he admitted.

Jen took one of Pacey’s hands into hers.  “I’m not trying to say that life sucks, Pacey.  I actually think that you guys are as close to perfect as most people will ever get.”

Pacey squeezed her hands and smirked.  “Do you mean that, Lindley?”

“Of course!  Look at you.  You are the perfect male specimen.  And if I can’t have you than why not let Potter have a go at pure bliss.”

Pacey laughed heartily and moved his hands up to squeeze Jen’s cheeks.  “If I remember correctly, you had a shot at pure bliss before Potter did, but you couldn’t seem to stop giggling.  You remember that?”

Jen blushed and smiled shyly.  “Oh yeah!  Well, what can I say?  I was a fool.”

Pacey regarded her for a moment and then bent down to kiss the top of her head.  He turned away and headed out of the kitchen.  He heard Jen call, “What was that for?”

Pacey’s head peeked back around the corner.  “That’s for this year.  That’s for coming up with a crazy idea like the six of us living together.  That’s for listening to me and always being a good friend.  But most of all, that’s thank you.”

Jen smiled broadly and whispered, “You’re welcome.”
Drue watched Pacey step out onto the balcony.  He moved towards the kitchen and admired his girlfriend as she spread cream cheese on her bagel.  It felt strange to refer to anyone as his girlfriend because he never stayed with one woman long enough to make any sort of commitment.  But Jen was different.  And he was determined to make this work.

“You’d better go easy on the cream cheese, Lindley.  I want to see you get into a bikini this summer.”

She glared at him from over her shoulder.  “Since when do I listen to you?”

“Oh, never.  I just thought that I’d give it a shot.”  Drue moved closer to Jen and wrapped her up in his arms.  “I have some great news for you.”

“For me?”

“Well, for both of us really.  You see my father has invited us to stay with him for a month.  I thought it might be kind of fun.”

A look of distress crossed Jen’s face.  “You want me to stay with you in New York?”

“No, no.  It’ll be at his condo in Cancun.  I told him I couldn’t go because I refuse to leave my gorgeous girlfriend alone in this city for a month.  So my dad insisted that I bring you along.  He wants to meet you.”  Drue twisted a couple of her curls between his fingers while he waited for her to respond.

“Let me get this straight.  We are going to Cancun, we’re staying in a condo, and we’ll be there for a month.  I thought that you hated your father, Drue.”

“Yes, normally I do.  But I’m trying to mend fences.  He’s the only father I’ve got.  I learned that from the ordeal with Mr. Potter.  He’s reaching out to me and I just got to give it a try, you know?”

“Do you really want me there?” she asked.

“Oh, definitely.  I can’t even imagine spending one week away from you.  And you know that this is so unlike me, but I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“I…I…I’m in love with you.”  Jen peered into his ocean blue eyes and knew that this wasn’t a line.  It scared her, but she was tired of running away from happiness.  She had finally found it…in the most unlikely place.

Tears began to brim her eyes as she reached up on tiptoe to kiss his lips.  They stayed like that for a few moments before she pulled back and said, “I’m in love with you, too.  And I would love nothing better than to go with you.  Thank you for asking me.”

“Well, hey.  It’s nothing really.  I mean I wanted to ask Potter but I think she’s already got plans.”

“Drue!  You are mean!  Why do you do this to me?”  Before Jen could continue her mock tirade, Drue captured her mouth with his and gave her a smoldering kiss.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss.  As their tongues danced together, they each fantasized about a summer together…in paradise.
“Hey, Jo, whatcha doing out here?”  Pacey approached her slowly.  She was stretched out on the chaise lounge.  When he saw her like that, it was impossible not to remember the night that they had spent out here together.  He smiled to himself and tried to push those memories aside for the moment because he knew that his desire for her would get the better of him if he didn’t.

She gazed up at him with serious eyes.  “I’m just thinking,” she replied.

Pacey sat on the chaise next to her.  “Is everything okay?” he questioned.

She turned and opened her arms to him.  “Come here, my love.”  Pacey smiled a little when she called him that.  He moved next to her and shifted as she snuggled into his arms.  “You’re not having second thoughts are you?   I mean you still want to go, right?”

“Of course I still want to go.  I’m just scared,” she replied.

Pacey peered down at her with adoring eyes.  “Scared of what?”

“I’m so happy right now, Pacey.”

“Why does that scare you?   You deserve to be happy, baby.”

“I want you.  I want to be with you.  It just seems like there’s always something standing in our way.  And now that I have you back in my life, I can’t stand the thought of losing you again.  So I guess I’m scared because I’ve gotten everything I want.  Does that make any sense?”

Pacey winked at her and held her tighter.  “You know I was just saying almost the same thing to Jen.  I told her that I just can’t lose you again.”

“What did she say?”

“She said that we are as close to perfect as most people will ever get.  And she’s right.  We deserve to be happy.  We’ve been through hell to get to this point, but it was worth it.  I wouldn’t trade one minute for the chance to be here with you right now,” he admitted.

Joey reached up and stroked Joey’s cheek with her palm.  “This is the only place I’ve ever wanted to be.”  Pacey tipped his head and pressed his lips to hers.  Joey reached up and tangled her fingers through his thick hair.  When they pulled away, she wrapped her arms around his neck and embraced him tightly.

“Pace?”

“Yeah, Jo?”

“Will you tell me a story?”  Joey released him from her embrace to gaze into his eyes.  He nodded his head and as he began to tell the story, he stroked her hair softly.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, who loved to lie under the stars at night and dream about the prince that would come to marry her one day… “

~*~THE END~*~

***************

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